Desert Song
And did you come to stare or wash away the blood?
Thank God for Gerard.
It doesn't matter to me what anyone else says.
But when I hear "Don't you do it."
I stop dead in my tracks. Lifesaver. I miss him. I miss Frankie. I miss Mikey. I miss Bobby. I miss Raymond. I miss all of them. I miss Bertums so much. I just want them all here right now, and I'd probably feel a lot better.
I am at the end of my rope. And I'm getting sicker. And no, it's not just anemia. I can't take this much longer.
I can see you awake anytime, in my head.
Trashy Life Juniors photoshoot is on hiatus until further notice. And no, I won't tell you why. I need someone here now. And not Ryspoon. I need someone to pry this bottle out of my hands. And tell me everything's gonna be okay.
Someone who knows what it feels like.
To feel like nothing.
Well tonight, will it ever come?
This is killing me. Slowly. Surely. And I don't mind. I saw someone I didn't need to see drunk tonight. And you think it'd change my judgement on myself. On my lifestyle. Yet, it only encourages it more. The look of numbness I saw, just seemed to...I saw myself stumbling around. I know how he felt. And he can't lie and say he still doesn't feel that way. Because I know better. I know him better. He can't say he's happy. He'll never be truly happy. And I can relate to the feeling. I'm miserable. I am alone, no matter who I "have". I will always be alone. Probably jumping off the Panic! tour before it starts, and going with MCR. I need to have some alone time with someone that understands me. And someone that will pry the bottle away from me. And not hate me for it.
Well after all, we'll lie another day, and through it all, we'll find some other way
I hate seeing myself in the mirror. I hate knowing what I will grow up to be. An alcoholic. A drug addict. Suicidal. I'm that little piece of yourself that you hate more than life itself.
From the lights to the pavement
From the van to the floor
From backstage to the doctor
From the Earth to the morgue
I'm everything you never wanted to be. I'm everything no one else wanted to be either. I'm worthless. Hopeless. Heartless. Blinded. Jaded. Lost. Dead (Physically & Mentally). I'm a lost hope. And I see no reason why people waste their time on me.
All fall down
Well after all...
Khaos.