(no subject)
My ears are ringing with static. The voices around me, dull drones. Lolly-pop sucking sweetness of sentiment- sweet, but with zero calories! Words that will make us FAT, offering no substance- parading around as delicious.
I'd rather starve.
The utter nonsense of it all makes me curl my fist, pull my hair (if I had any- cut off for this specific purpose), breath deep- and try to realize my inner Buddha. Fighting against MYSELF. Is all this turmoil to be directed at me, from me? Am I a sacrifice to myself, for myself?
Like Odin, I shall hang upon that tree- and cast runes into the abyss. At least it will be tossing something.
Scattering bones while imagining blood. Faces and problems smashed to pieces. People I shouldn't hate, but do- groveling underneath a hanged version of myself. While I am powerless, screaming in agony, pain- I still retain more control. more power, then they.
So they too scream.
Horrid and hypnotic melody.
I'll try to stifle a laugh, try to allow them I didn't know all along, try to pretend I didn't convince myself otherwise- but I will fail, just as I failed here. I will laugh, and I will drink their sorrows like a bitter wine, intoxicated from their misery. Empowered by my OWN anger. Heated by my OWN fury.
Death laughs at you, in pity- but he and I play chess.
You shall know your place. Know your shortcomings. You pathetic dreams. Pathetic words. Pathetic, hollow, empty, lives-- desperately trying to fill up with something.
No, it is not right to steal MY water, my substance- for your own greedy gullet. You have not earned the right to even be alive. Have not asked the questions that even begin to acknowledge a sentient being. So why do you take this from me?
Is it spittle in the face?
Spitting in the face of a man so far BETTER, so far more DESERVING-- Spitting in gods eye?
Then- why does she not see? See the things I do- I AM? Is your purpose to bring mediocrity to those things I become attached to? And are they so weak to ALLOW you?
Perhaps I am better casting off. Such stifled passions, stifled dreams, stifled WORTH- why would I even bother fighting? Waiting? Longing? It isn't anything I couldn't have already had. Nothing I couldn't have already made MINE. Such respect for others- remind me why I even bare such sentiment? Why I even bothered learning to feel? Why I ever bothered entertaining anything other then my own power?
Anger is all I need.
Destruction it's purpose.
Burn the world. Only the deserving shall remain.
Only the wicked.
The damned.
The INTERESTING.
The INQUISITIVE.
The CURIOUS.
Why do I BOTHER? The STRONG.
Beat me, break me, look down on me- I dare. You shall never see the snake bite. Never feel the poison. Never know the true strength of your opponent. I am too smart for that, too cunning. Without pride- yet the final pride my own. Beat me down, go ahead, if you can- but know that I am strong. I am a breed apart.
I do not forgive.
I do not forget.
I endure, and I win.
I'd rather starve.
The utter nonsense of it all makes me curl my fist, pull my hair (if I had any- cut off for this specific purpose), breath deep- and try to realize my inner Buddha. Fighting against MYSELF. Is all this turmoil to be directed at me, from me? Am I a sacrifice to myself, for myself?
Like Odin, I shall hang upon that tree- and cast runes into the abyss. At least it will be tossing something.
Scattering bones while imagining blood. Faces and problems smashed to pieces. People I shouldn't hate, but do- groveling underneath a hanged version of myself. While I am powerless, screaming in agony, pain- I still retain more control. more power, then they.
So they too scream.
Horrid and hypnotic melody.
I'll try to stifle a laugh, try to allow them I didn't know all along, try to pretend I didn't convince myself otherwise- but I will fail, just as I failed here. I will laugh, and I will drink their sorrows like a bitter wine, intoxicated from their misery. Empowered by my OWN anger. Heated by my OWN fury.
Death laughs at you, in pity- but he and I play chess.
You shall know your place. Know your shortcomings. You pathetic dreams. Pathetic words. Pathetic, hollow, empty, lives-- desperately trying to fill up with something.
No, it is not right to steal MY water, my substance- for your own greedy gullet. You have not earned the right to even be alive. Have not asked the questions that even begin to acknowledge a sentient being. So why do you take this from me?
Is it spittle in the face?
Spitting in the face of a man so far BETTER, so far more DESERVING-- Spitting in gods eye?
Then- why does she not see? See the things I do- I AM? Is your purpose to bring mediocrity to those things I become attached to? And are they so weak to ALLOW you?
Perhaps I am better casting off. Such stifled passions, stifled dreams, stifled WORTH- why would I even bother fighting? Waiting? Longing? It isn't anything I couldn't have already had. Nothing I couldn't have already made MINE. Such respect for others- remind me why I even bare such sentiment? Why I even bothered learning to feel? Why I ever bothered entertaining anything other then my own power?
Anger is all I need.
Destruction it's purpose.
Burn the world. Only the deserving shall remain.
Only the wicked.
The damned.
The INTERESTING.
The INQUISITIVE.
The CURIOUS.
Why do I BOTHER? The STRONG.
Beat me, break me, look down on me- I dare. You shall never see the snake bite. Never feel the poison. Never know the true strength of your opponent. I am too smart for that, too cunning. Without pride- yet the final pride my own. Beat me down, go ahead, if you can- but know that I am strong. I am a breed apart.
I do not forgive.
I do not forget.
I endure, and I win.