(no subject)
My wonderful, beautiful colicky baby has passed away. He waited til I was home to die, though, which I appreciate more than words can describe. I am amazed at how long he held on, despite almost doubling in size with what I can only assume was internal parasites. At the end his back looked almost broken from the amount it bent to accomodate his gargantuan abdomen.
When he was a baby, it took me so long to get him to eat. I thought he was going to die straightaway. I spent days and days trying to convince him those little pellets were food, and I tried every food I could find, and nothing. The day he ate it almost seemed miraculous, but you know, I'm sure he'd gotten hungry enough at that point that he pretty much had to trust me. Either way, I felt like his caregiver then, truly like the person who took care of my fish.
This illness however, got me beat. At first I thought he had some little fishie constipation as bettas are wont to suffer from. So I watched him. And I tried for weeks to get him to eat that little pea. I cooked one every morning just for him. And it was like that first little bit again. I was so worried. But then he ate it. And I got him to do it again. And again. And I thought, surely he's gonna get better now.
But he kept getting bigger. Bigger and bigger and I didn't know why. Nobody had anything like it on the betta websites. But I saw a few mentions about internal parasites being confused with constipation, so I drove fervently to the drugstore to get medicine. No internal parasite medicine. 10 things for external, but no internal. I felt helpless. The guy at the petstore didn't seem to get why I was trying to save a $5 fish, and what were internal parasites anyways? So I bought some Maracyn-2 and went home.
Long story short, it didn't help. I just watched my baby grow larger and larger and larger for what, 3, 4 months now? And I couldn't do shit. You can't take a betta to the vet. I have a non-success rate with curing sick fish. I couldn't find a way to euthanize him that seemed humane enough.
I just wish, after all that, that I could have given him some comfort as he died. But no, he died laying vertical in the rocks, his back almost broken in half and his belly larger than the rest of his body combined.
I'm sorry, my love, but you're in a better place now.
I loved you and I'll miss you.
When he was a baby, it took me so long to get him to eat. I thought he was going to die straightaway. I spent days and days trying to convince him those little pellets were food, and I tried every food I could find, and nothing. The day he ate it almost seemed miraculous, but you know, I'm sure he'd gotten hungry enough at that point that he pretty much had to trust me. Either way, I felt like his caregiver then, truly like the person who took care of my fish.
This illness however, got me beat. At first I thought he had some little fishie constipation as bettas are wont to suffer from. So I watched him. And I tried for weeks to get him to eat that little pea. I cooked one every morning just for him. And it was like that first little bit again. I was so worried. But then he ate it. And I got him to do it again. And again. And I thought, surely he's gonna get better now.
But he kept getting bigger. Bigger and bigger and I didn't know why. Nobody had anything like it on the betta websites. But I saw a few mentions about internal parasites being confused with constipation, so I drove fervently to the drugstore to get medicine. No internal parasite medicine. 10 things for external, but no internal. I felt helpless. The guy at the petstore didn't seem to get why I was trying to save a $5 fish, and what were internal parasites anyways? So I bought some Maracyn-2 and went home.
Long story short, it didn't help. I just watched my baby grow larger and larger and larger for what, 3, 4 months now? And I couldn't do shit. You can't take a betta to the vet. I have a non-success rate with curing sick fish. I couldn't find a way to euthanize him that seemed humane enough.
I just wish, after all that, that I could have given him some comfort as he died. But no, he died laying vertical in the rocks, his back almost broken in half and his belly larger than the rest of his body combined.
I'm sorry, my love, but you're in a better place now.
I loved you and I'll miss you.