The O/one T/true way
So...like, I pretend to be a dom*. I mean, I tell wimins that, to get them to take their pants off and get me drinks and my fiffies 'n shit. Really all I care about is getting off. (And getting my partner off, though that suits the image I'm trying to portray less well.) Otherwise, you can call me a teletubby for all I care.
I get protocol. I mean, in that "What is sexy about OCD-level anal retentiveness? I don't get this at all" kind of way. If you want to capitalize your master's name and lowercase yours, that's cool. Every time I see it, I go, "That'd be easier to type into a linux shell..."
However, when E/every F/fucking W/word H/has T/to B/be T/typed L/like T/this so that you make sure to properly follow every possible iteration of protocol ever thought of and not offend anyone? You are raping the English language and the beauty of the written word in a way that I do not consent to. e.e.cummings was a hack. But at least he did it for a reason. Stop it.
Your M/master needs to venture out of the F/fucking chatroom and put down the K/koolaid. Also? I is always capitalized. I don't care if you're e.e.cummings or submissive or you're typing really fast one-thumbed on an iDevi$e. Lower-casing your I doesn't look submissive. It looks like you are stupid and can't find the shift key. Or are too lazy to correct typos. Pick one. Then stop doing that. Ever again.
W/we bothers the shit out of me. Really? We is a fucking unit. A singular pronoun. It can't be two-tiered or two-leveled. Y/your? Wtf does that even mean?
I say this as someone who did the chat room thing, for years. Though, apparently before this inanity took hold. Back in the old days, when the internet was all analog tubes, hand-built by Al Gore, you just typed, like you talked. And if you called them dirty names and whispered that you wanted to spank them, they knew you were a dom and if they had a totally hot profile pic and wanted to have sex with you, you knew they were a guy too. It worked for us.
F/fuck M/e t/T/his i/S A/annoying.
K.++\\\///++k.
* suzmonster -LOVES- when I make this joke. Way. Every single time.
I get protocol. I mean, in that "What is sexy about OCD-level anal retentiveness? I don't get this at all" kind of way. If you want to capitalize your master's name and lowercase yours, that's cool. Every time I see it, I go, "That'd be easier to type into a linux shell..."
However, when E/every F/fucking W/word H/has T/to B/be T/typed L/like T/this so that you make sure to properly follow every possible iteration of protocol ever thought of and not offend anyone? You are raping the English language and the beauty of the written word in a way that I do not consent to. e.e.cummings was a hack. But at least he did it for a reason. Stop it.
Your M/master needs to venture out of the F/fucking chatroom and put down the K/koolaid. Also? I is always capitalized. I don't care if you're e.e.cummings or submissive or you're typing really fast one-thumbed on an iDevi$e. Lower-casing your I doesn't look submissive. It looks like you are stupid and can't find the shift key. Or are too lazy to correct typos. Pick one. Then stop doing that. Ever again.
W/we bothers the shit out of me. Really? We is a fucking unit. A singular pronoun. It can't be two-tiered or two-leveled. Y/your? Wtf does that even mean?
I say this as someone who did the chat room thing, for years. Though, apparently before this inanity took hold. Back in the old days, when the internet was all analog tubes, hand-built by Al Gore, you just typed, like you talked. And if you called them dirty names and whispered that you wanted to spank them, they knew you were a dom and if they had a totally hot profile pic and wanted to have sex with you, you knew they were a guy too. It worked for us.
F/fuck M/e t/T/his i/S A/annoying.
K.++\\\///++k.
* suzmonster -LOVES- when I make this joke. Way. Every single time.