Inevitability (this could be triggery)
It's raining hard up in here. Snuggled under the covers, I like it.
I have discovered that my definition of when I am 'in' a fandom is slightly different from everyone else. Thinking about this has made me realize: I have some serious, serious control issues, people.
I hate, hate, hate the sensation of buyer's remorse. Almost more than anything. Since I have such a peripatetic lifestyle, everything that comes into my physical realm has to be worthy of being packed up and schlepped around. I don't buy things unless I really, really need them or ADORE THEM UTTERLY. I do these regular intense purges when I feel like I own too much and other people's sentiment about physical things has a tendency to make me uncomfortable. (This is perhaps the only source of friction I have with my mother, trufax.)
This also seems to apply to my mental space. If I'm going to get obsessed with something, it's gotta be very particularly 'my kind of thing' or just of such jaw-dropping quality that I'd be a fool to pass it up. So fannishly, yeah: I basically have to be dubconned into a new fandom. Sometimes it literally feels like I am trying to yank away from someone trying to kiss me on the mouth.
XMFC is like "I could make this so good for yoooou!" and I'm like, "FUCK OFF, I just woke up from that Inception fever dream. I just wanna write some D/B and watch a little Teen Wolf." And so I can be writing fic, READING fic and still not believe that I'm in a fandom. I only really begin to think I'm in a fandom when I have a folder full of photos and art saved on my hard drive with the name of a pairing on it. There are currently five. No, I'm not telling you what they are.
FUCKING MUTANT SUPERPOWERS. Is all I'm saying.
I have discovered that my definition of when I am 'in' a fandom is slightly different from everyone else. Thinking about this has made me realize: I have some serious, serious control issues, people.
I hate, hate, hate the sensation of buyer's remorse. Almost more than anything. Since I have such a peripatetic lifestyle, everything that comes into my physical realm has to be worthy of being packed up and schlepped around. I don't buy things unless I really, really need them or ADORE THEM UTTERLY. I do these regular intense purges when I feel like I own too much and other people's sentiment about physical things has a tendency to make me uncomfortable. (This is perhaps the only source of friction I have with my mother, trufax.)
This also seems to apply to my mental space. If I'm going to get obsessed with something, it's gotta be very particularly 'my kind of thing' or just of such jaw-dropping quality that I'd be a fool to pass it up. So fannishly, yeah: I basically have to be dubconned into a new fandom. Sometimes it literally feels like I am trying to yank away from someone trying to kiss me on the mouth.
XMFC is like "I could make this so good for yoooou!" and I'm like, "FUCK OFF, I just woke up from that Inception fever dream. I just wanna write some D/B and watch a little Teen Wolf." And so I can be writing fic, READING fic and still not believe that I'm in a fandom. I only really begin to think I'm in a fandom when I have a folder full of photos and art saved on my hard drive with the name of a pairing on it. There are currently five. No, I'm not telling you what they are.
FUCKING MUTANT SUPERPOWERS. Is all I'm saying.