Self-reflection
In the past year, I've made a lot of changes in my life and I'm no longer sure which ones are valid and which are me being someone I'm not. I don't know where I'm going anymore. I'm legitimately lost.
I cut off all my hair, and amazing as it feels, I sometimes miss it. The short hair has caused all kinds of identity crisis, and made it more difficult for me walk through simple situations without being judged on my appearance. Contrary to popular belief, I don't like being the center of attention, and this has made it more difficult to remain unseen. As much as it hurts, I might grow it out just to be able to hide again.
After my 21st birthday, I finally tried alcohol, and even though it hasn't been nearly as much of a problem for me as my mom thought it might, I've decided it's not something I want too much in my life. A few parties have shown me how alcohol can truly mess things up, and I want no part of that.
One thing I am happy about is my decision to sign my English major. In January, I will have stuck with it for a year, and I can't tell you how amazing that feels. After my presentation on Thursday, I truly believe I can teach college kids.
Finally, I've decided I need to learn to be happy alone. I only get trouble and heartache when I force a connection. I want to find someone who gives me butterflies again. I'm not going to settle for someone who doesn't appreciate me. It's too painful in the long run to stick with temporary happiness.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.