Love is a choice? WTF?
In one of my English courses, we were discussing a book called "so Long a Letter" by Mariama Ba. Basically, it's about a woman in Senegal whose husband of 30 years takes on a co-wife and leaves her in the dust. Then he dies, and she is forced to cope with her new position in life, and her co-wife.
A particularly religious girl in my class randomly commented that love is a choice, and I blanked out on her next couple words because by heart started pounding in my ears. That argument is used by the uber-religious to discriminate and dismiss gay people (not that all religious people do this, just a generalization).
My girlfriend and I looked at each other, looked at the girl, and looked and each other again. When she stopped rambling, I spoke up.
"I disagree that love is a choice."
"Oh really?" Her eyes widened and a smug look came over her face.
My teacher got excited and fist-pumped into the air while saying, "Debate!" I smiled, then continued.
"Your actions are a choice. Whether you get into a relationship, have sex, or stay with someone, those are choices. You cannot make yourself feel something for someone if that spark isn't there, just as you can't help falling for someone, even if they're not "right" for you."
There was more argument after that among other members of the class, all for my point of view. I didn't pay much attention. I was disturbed. How do you come to the conclusion that love is a choice in this day and age? So many stories we hear as children are about people falling in love and doing whatever they can to be together, fighting dragons or whatever. How can anyone think love is a choice?
A particularly religious girl in my class randomly commented that love is a choice, and I blanked out on her next couple words because by heart started pounding in my ears. That argument is used by the uber-religious to discriminate and dismiss gay people (not that all religious people do this, just a generalization).
My girlfriend and I looked at each other, looked at the girl, and looked and each other again. When she stopped rambling, I spoke up.
"I disagree that love is a choice."
"Oh really?" Her eyes widened and a smug look came over her face.
My teacher got excited and fist-pumped into the air while saying, "Debate!" I smiled, then continued.
"Your actions are a choice. Whether you get into a relationship, have sex, or stay with someone, those are choices. You cannot make yourself feel something for someone if that spark isn't there, just as you can't help falling for someone, even if they're not "right" for you."
There was more argument after that among other members of the class, all for my point of view. I didn't pay much attention. I was disturbed. How do you come to the conclusion that love is a choice in this day and age? So many stories we hear as children are about people falling in love and doing whatever they can to be together, fighting dragons or whatever. How can anyone think love is a choice?