(no subject)
Sorry if I seemed whiny in my last entry. After I wrote that, I had a long talk w/ Lindsey and Collin, and I feel a lot better now. Some issues I've been having have been resolved and I finally realized that (gasp!) my friends really do care about me!!! Anyway, Collin turned out to be a great friend. He was really calm and understanding about everything and even held my hand! He's not just an "external" friend anymore. I now know that I can depend on him the same way I can depend on everyone else. I realized some things:
1. Even though my worst fears have been realized once or twice, that doesn't mean it's the end of my life.
2. My life can be best described as "gray": not b/c it's depressing but b/c it's neither black nor white, it just is the way it is.
3. I'm a lot stronger than I thought I was.
4. No matter where I go, my friends will never abandon me.
5. I can no longer be someone's friend.
In response to number 5, I have some things to say.
I understand that you have issues that you have to work on. I understand that you are bitter and have trouble w/ sympathy. Underneath your negativity you are a bright, charming, funny, inteligent and beautiful person that just hasn't realized their potential. I would say this to you in person, but the only problem is that you don't have the maturity to handle it and it just would make things worse. I was trying to be a friend to you. Believe it or not, that can be difficult at times. I can't stand by when you disrespect me and my friend(s). I'm sorry people treat you badly, but I was never one of them. If I was, I'm sorry. I know why you do the things you do, but they are still hurtful to you and to the people around you. I can't just sit back and let you do these things. Lately, you've not only shattered my trust but you've done something that shows me that I can't be your friend. I need to be around positive people and I can't be around you. I need to be around people that care and you don't and/or can't. How can I be friends w/ someone that mistreats me when I need them most? It saddens me to do this, b/c I do have fond memories of you. I still want to give you a hug and fill you in on my life, but I can't b/c I know that you will only hurt me more. I will still hang out w/ you, b/c your still part of my group, but I can't be your friend. This is what I can do to help you, although it isn't much. I hope you can change w/in the next few years. I'm sorry that I just won't be there to see.
OK, so that was a serious entry. Wow. Chances are, the person that that was about won't read this, which is why I wrote it here. If you knew them, you would know why I don't want them to not know what I said. So, tomorrow is a new day, and I'm moving on w/ my life. On a lighter note, I realized that Cory and I have similiar ways of expressing ourselves. I think the more I get to know him, the better friends we will be. Or maybe not, you never know. Well, that's all for now, ciao!
~ B
Jane: You just need to find your Orlando Bloom
Me: I think he just walked in the door.
Jane: OMG, he did!
1. Even though my worst fears have been realized once or twice, that doesn't mean it's the end of my life.
2. My life can be best described as "gray": not b/c it's depressing but b/c it's neither black nor white, it just is the way it is.
3. I'm a lot stronger than I thought I was.
4. No matter where I go, my friends will never abandon me.
5. I can no longer be someone's friend.
In response to number 5, I have some things to say.
I understand that you have issues that you have to work on. I understand that you are bitter and have trouble w/ sympathy. Underneath your negativity you are a bright, charming, funny, inteligent and beautiful person that just hasn't realized their potential. I would say this to you in person, but the only problem is that you don't have the maturity to handle it and it just would make things worse. I was trying to be a friend to you. Believe it or not, that can be difficult at times. I can't stand by when you disrespect me and my friend(s). I'm sorry people treat you badly, but I was never one of them. If I was, I'm sorry. I know why you do the things you do, but they are still hurtful to you and to the people around you. I can't just sit back and let you do these things. Lately, you've not only shattered my trust but you've done something that shows me that I can't be your friend. I need to be around positive people and I can't be around you. I need to be around people that care and you don't and/or can't. How can I be friends w/ someone that mistreats me when I need them most? It saddens me to do this, b/c I do have fond memories of you. I still want to give you a hug and fill you in on my life, but I can't b/c I know that you will only hurt me more. I will still hang out w/ you, b/c your still part of my group, but I can't be your friend. This is what I can do to help you, although it isn't much. I hope you can change w/in the next few years. I'm sorry that I just won't be there to see.
OK, so that was a serious entry. Wow. Chances are, the person that that was about won't read this, which is why I wrote it here. If you knew them, you would know why I don't want them to not know what I said. So, tomorrow is a new day, and I'm moving on w/ my life. On a lighter note, I realized that Cory and I have similiar ways of expressing ourselves. I think the more I get to know him, the better friends we will be. Or maybe not, you never know. Well, that's all for now, ciao!
~ B
Jane: You just need to find your Orlando Bloom
Me: I think he just walked in the door.
Jane: OMG, he did!