(no subject)
i've had a bit of interest in the "outside" world, so i thought, for the sake of my roommate, that i would pretend that interest carries over here and wax about my rather uncommon (as i know it) ailment.
in other words...
on 17 march 2008, i was (finally) officially diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis. more specifically, under said umbrella of psoriatic arthritis, i have four different symptomatic strains; asymmetric arthritis, distal interphalangeal predominant arthritis, spondylitis, and arthritis mutilans.
99.5% of patients with psoriatic arthritis have one, or move from one to another over the course of their lives.
i've always been an overachiever.
the psoriasis affects my scalp, the arthritis, most everywhere else. while i had once claimed my hands were the worst, and believed my bathroom floor episode was about as bad as i could imagine it being, i was in ignorance then. the spondylitis, that is, the arthritis symptoms in my spine, and the inflammation in my chest and ribs, have been... well, horrible.
i've dealt with a lot of pain in my life, and i like to think i'm a pretty tough cookie. in fact, before this all began, there wasn't much of anything i couldn't tolerate with reasonable grit. it was a rather silly source of pride, and these past few months have actually been an incredibly humbling experience. i mention this only because i want these next words to carry the appropriate amount of weight: the pain has left me, on more than one occasion, in tears. place the terms "searing," "ricocheting," "severe," "breathtaking," "throbbing," "overwhelming" into a bowl, toss them around, and any which way they come out would be right.
i especially like "breathtaking," because it hurt to breathe, even shallowly. for the first time in my life, i felt helpless.
there is a light at the end of this proverbial tunnel, though, my friends. this week, my (soon-to-be-defunct) insurance company approved my prescription of a nifty little drug called humira. i took my first shot on wednesday. yesterday was the first day i've felt decent in nearly a month.
it might be too soon to say the drug is fixing me, but i believe there is something to the concept of mind-over-matter. so, i don't really care if it's only me thinking that the drug is supposed to make me feel better, and that's the only reason i do. it will do what it's supposed to do eventually, and in the meantime, i will reap the benefits of whatever else is affecting my minute recovery.
i will have to give myself a shot twice a month, and most likely (considering the severity of my condition) for the rest of my life. the good news is that it should halt the degeneration in my joints and prevent any damage to tissue or organs, without aversely affecting my liver. the bad news is that i might have to sell my rights to any future offspring to afford it, it's so expensive. we'll have to wait and see how that works out, because the next best alternative would probably devastate any chance of having future offspring. well... healthy future offspring, anyway.
i don't want no eyes in my hills, thankyouverymuch. even though that was atomic fallout. either way, there's a point in there somewhere.
also, i cannot wait to get off the prednisone!
i'm done for now.
in other words...
on 17 march 2008, i was (finally) officially diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis. more specifically, under said umbrella of psoriatic arthritis, i have four different symptomatic strains; asymmetric arthritis, distal interphalangeal predominant arthritis, spondylitis, and arthritis mutilans.
99.5% of patients with psoriatic arthritis have one, or move from one to another over the course of their lives.
i've always been an overachiever.
the psoriasis affects my scalp, the arthritis, most everywhere else. while i had once claimed my hands were the worst, and believed my bathroom floor episode was about as bad as i could imagine it being, i was in ignorance then. the spondylitis, that is, the arthritis symptoms in my spine, and the inflammation in my chest and ribs, have been... well, horrible.
i've dealt with a lot of pain in my life, and i like to think i'm a pretty tough cookie. in fact, before this all began, there wasn't much of anything i couldn't tolerate with reasonable grit. it was a rather silly source of pride, and these past few months have actually been an incredibly humbling experience. i mention this only because i want these next words to carry the appropriate amount of weight: the pain has left me, on more than one occasion, in tears. place the terms "searing," "ricocheting," "severe," "breathtaking," "throbbing," "overwhelming" into a bowl, toss them around, and any which way they come out would be right.
i especially like "breathtaking," because it hurt to breathe, even shallowly. for the first time in my life, i felt helpless.
there is a light at the end of this proverbial tunnel, though, my friends. this week, my (soon-to-be-defunct) insurance company approved my prescription of a nifty little drug called humira. i took my first shot on wednesday. yesterday was the first day i've felt decent in nearly a month.
it might be too soon to say the drug is fixing me, but i believe there is something to the concept of mind-over-matter. so, i don't really care if it's only me thinking that the drug is supposed to make me feel better, and that's the only reason i do. it will do what it's supposed to do eventually, and in the meantime, i will reap the benefits of whatever else is affecting my minute recovery.
i will have to give myself a shot twice a month, and most likely (considering the severity of my condition) for the rest of my life. the good news is that it should halt the degeneration in my joints and prevent any damage to tissue or organs, without aversely affecting my liver. the bad news is that i might have to sell my rights to any future offspring to afford it, it's so expensive. we'll have to wait and see how that works out, because the next best alternative would probably devastate any chance of having future offspring. well... healthy future offspring, anyway.
i don't want no eyes in my hills, thankyouverymuch. even though that was atomic fallout. either way, there's a point in there somewhere.
also, i cannot wait to get off the prednisone!
i'm done for now.