(no subject)
So it's time to write something for public consumption. Dunno what ... but it's something I've done since paper-and-pencil days ... sitting down with a blank page and just spilling thoughts out.
Trouble is, my thoughts are kinda jumbled today.
When I was younger, I thought I'd have it all figured out by now ... that I'd have reached some comfortable plateau of understanding, where I could look back at the journey I've taken. And yet ... I find myself nowhere near a plateau. It's not that I'm still climbing higher -- oftentimes I'm slipping backwards. But still, it'd be nice to have some profound insight into my life so far.
But I don't.
I think I'm too uptight, too ... locked in.
I met a man Friday. His name is Mark, and he lives here in town. He's made some decisions and used some substances that have destroyed much of his rational mind. Friday, with what's left of his gray matter, he decided to come see us at the church. I spent twenty minutes or so talking to him. There was a wildness in his eyes, matched by the virtual lion's mane formed by his hair and beard.
But in the incessant stream of near-insanity, he said this:
"I came here because of the Spirit. And we gotta follow the Spirit."
Heaven knows I try, Mark. Heaven knows I try.
I fail. I know it. I see it. I feel it. Plateau or not, I can look back and see how I've failed.
But heaven knows I try.
I think I'm a nice person, mostly. But is that enough?
It's not.
We gotta follow the Spirit.
Preach it, Mark.
You think I'd have it down by now
Been practicin' for thirty years
I should have walked a thousand miles
So what am I still doin' here
Reachin' out for that same old piece of forbidden fruit
I slip and fall and I knock my halo loose
Somebody tell me what's a boy supposed to do?
I get so clumsy
I get so foolish
I get so stupid
And then I feel so useless
But You're sayin' You love me
And You're still gonna hold me
And that You wanna be near me
'Cause You're makin' me holy
You're still makin' me holy, yeah
I'm gonna get it right this time
I'll be strong and I'll make You proud
I've prayed that prayer a thousand times
But the rooster crows and my tears roll down (again)
Then You remind me You made me from the dust
And I can never, no never, be good enough
And that You're not gonna let that come between us
(repeat chorus)
From where I stand
Your holiness is up so high I can never reach it
My only hope is to fall on Jesus.
My only hope ... is to fall on Jesus.
Trouble is, my thoughts are kinda jumbled today.
When I was younger, I thought I'd have it all figured out by now ... that I'd have reached some comfortable plateau of understanding, where I could look back at the journey I've taken. And yet ... I find myself nowhere near a plateau. It's not that I'm still climbing higher -- oftentimes I'm slipping backwards. But still, it'd be nice to have some profound insight into my life so far.
But I don't.
I think I'm too uptight, too ... locked in.
I met a man Friday. His name is Mark, and he lives here in town. He's made some decisions and used some substances that have destroyed much of his rational mind. Friday, with what's left of his gray matter, he decided to come see us at the church. I spent twenty minutes or so talking to him. There was a wildness in his eyes, matched by the virtual lion's mane formed by his hair and beard.
But in the incessant stream of near-insanity, he said this:
"I came here because of the Spirit. And we gotta follow the Spirit."
Heaven knows I try, Mark. Heaven knows I try.
I fail. I know it. I see it. I feel it. Plateau or not, I can look back and see how I've failed.
But heaven knows I try.
I think I'm a nice person, mostly. But is that enough?
It's not.
We gotta follow the Spirit.
Preach it, Mark.
You think I'd have it down by now
Been practicin' for thirty years
I should have walked a thousand miles
So what am I still doin' here
Reachin' out for that same old piece of forbidden fruit
I slip and fall and I knock my halo loose
Somebody tell me what's a boy supposed to do?
I get so clumsy
I get so foolish
I get so stupid
And then I feel so useless
But You're sayin' You love me
And You're still gonna hold me
And that You wanna be near me
'Cause You're makin' me holy
You're still makin' me holy, yeah
I'm gonna get it right this time
I'll be strong and I'll make You proud
I've prayed that prayer a thousand times
But the rooster crows and my tears roll down (again)
Then You remind me You made me from the dust
And I can never, no never, be good enough
And that You're not gonna let that come between us
(repeat chorus)
From where I stand
Your holiness is up so high I can never reach it
My only hope is to fall on Jesus.
My only hope ... is to fall on Jesus.