Beads
I don't understand some women out there. The ones that fall in love so easily. It doesn't make any sense, you know. You fall in love, get your heartbroken, fall in love, lose it, fall in love, etc, etc, etc...
Is it a curse or is it a blessing? To be able to give freely your heart every single time you feel like the person you are with now could be the one that will love you forever? I could see the good side of it. Turning fridged after the big heartbreak of your life is no good. That was my fear after William. That I would never experiance what real love felt like again. How wonderful it was to be with someone who at one point felt I was the center of his world. What a wonderful feeling it was to be completely in love with someone. I'll never forget the first time he told me he loved me. We were lying in bed watching a movie. He was warm to the touch and sqeezing me tightly. We weren't really watching the movie at all...we were lost in our conversation. There was a pause and we were looking at eachother and all I wanted to say to him was, "I love you! I love you! I love you!" I wanted to scream it! I knew he wanted to say it too, I could tell, we even joked about who should say it first. I laughed a bit and turned away from him and layed my head on his chest. I closed my eyes, felt his body arch up and he whispered in my ear, "Kelly, I love you." It was the purest moment of my life. I felt safe and adored and like nothing could touch ever touch me. We kissed and hugged and cryed together.
We shared so many of those moments. I remember a conversation that we had on his bed. Movie in the background, just chatting and laughing. Then suddenly he burst into tears. I sat up and looked at him, asked him what was wrong, thinking I had elbowed him or something. When he calmed down a bit, he said to me, "I just can't believe that I've actually found you". How could I go on forever without ever feeling THAT feeling again. I just couldn't.
I revel in the fact that I am the only woman he ever said "I love you" to first. The only girl he ever actually meant to say it to. And now he is with a hussy who he says it back to because if he doesn't, she'll cry. A girl who says "I love you" to every single guy who walks through her door. She was madly in love with another man just days before Will came over. A guy named Rick I think. He was, "everything in the world" to her.
She passes love out like like candy. Free love (ha, her free gift to Will's facebook says it all!) She passes it out like one would pass out mardigras beads, and its a compitition to her to see who gets the most back. To her, the person who has the most beads around their neck at the end of the night is the winner when in reality, they are just the ones who were willing to flash the crowd the most.
...and thats the sad part about love. Giving it away so easily. Because if you give it away like its nothing, then it becomes nothing. Just an empty word. An empty feeling. Empty life.
Is it a curse or is it a blessing? To be able to give freely your heart every single time you feel like the person you are with now could be the one that will love you forever? I could see the good side of it. Turning fridged after the big heartbreak of your life is no good. That was my fear after William. That I would never experiance what real love felt like again. How wonderful it was to be with someone who at one point felt I was the center of his world. What a wonderful feeling it was to be completely in love with someone. I'll never forget the first time he told me he loved me. We were lying in bed watching a movie. He was warm to the touch and sqeezing me tightly. We weren't really watching the movie at all...we were lost in our conversation. There was a pause and we were looking at eachother and all I wanted to say to him was, "I love you! I love you! I love you!" I wanted to scream it! I knew he wanted to say it too, I could tell, we even joked about who should say it first. I laughed a bit and turned away from him and layed my head on his chest. I closed my eyes, felt his body arch up and he whispered in my ear, "Kelly, I love you." It was the purest moment of my life. I felt safe and adored and like nothing could touch ever touch me. We kissed and hugged and cryed together.
We shared so many of those moments. I remember a conversation that we had on his bed. Movie in the background, just chatting and laughing. Then suddenly he burst into tears. I sat up and looked at him, asked him what was wrong, thinking I had elbowed him or something. When he calmed down a bit, he said to me, "I just can't believe that I've actually found you". How could I go on forever without ever feeling THAT feeling again. I just couldn't.
I revel in the fact that I am the only woman he ever said "I love you" to first. The only girl he ever actually meant to say it to. And now he is with a hussy who he says it back to because if he doesn't, she'll cry. A girl who says "I love you" to every single guy who walks through her door. She was madly in love with another man just days before Will came over. A guy named Rick I think. He was, "everything in the world" to her.
She passes love out like like candy. Free love (ha, her free gift to Will's facebook says it all!) She passes it out like one would pass out mardigras beads, and its a compitition to her to see who gets the most back. To her, the person who has the most beads around their neck at the end of the night is the winner when in reality, they are just the ones who were willing to flash the crowd the most.
...and thats the sad part about love. Giving it away so easily. Because if you give it away like its nothing, then it becomes nothing. Just an empty word. An empty feeling. Empty life.