spouse characteristics
wow havent updated this thing for the longest time. anyway, this isnt really an update, more of just some thoughts as i take a break from finals studying.
so it's getting to the end of 2nd year in college, and its more and more common for people to talk about relationships and marriage. i mean, you got 2 years to find someone in college to settle down with. or at least i'd think my chances are better in college; my career choices (law, international relations, business) not only have a disproprotionate ratio of men to women, but lack asians to begin with (not that an asian partner is necessary for me though). so, me being not really experienced, where do i start?
a few days ago i remember someone's xanga entry with all these idealistic qualities of how their ideal partner would look like. obviously everyone's ideals go down the drain when they actually meet the guy/girl, but it's a nice starting place. and it's not that hard... just think of all the qualities you'd want in a best friend (or basically in yourself) right?
so, i made this list with my requisites for educational background, spending ability, cultural background, career ambitions, how involved they'd be with the kids, their hobbies, their political beliefs, where they'd want to live, and their religious background.
but then i read someone else's xanga entry, and there was a story where the girl asked the guy "what can you do for ME?" ... and i thought geez, i'm really not very family valuable, as in, i'm not a good cook, i dont know what my career path is going to be and how much money ill make, i'm a lazy bum who procrastinates, i dont have many social skills, etc... basically i dont bring much to the table. so why should i be making all these demands if i first dont make demands on myself? and as i reflected on my personality, i realized i changed a bit from high school. i used to be the "nice guy that finishes last" type who'd get into multi-hour long deep convos with others and help ppl solve their problems. nowadays? i'm... quite disconnected from everyone, i dont really have close friends where i can replicate that. so i really need to improve on myself first before i can ask of qualities from a potential partner.
anyway, my last "rant" is based on one of the qualities of my partner. i remember in mr. phillips' psych class that two partners of different religions wont really work out, and ill be on the screwed over side, cuz then the kid will be like "mommy, why doesnt daddy go to church?" okay so i wont include my religious crusader rant in here, but makes me think... will i have to compromise my current status in order to meet the religious requirements of my partner, and if so, would that be "morally" wrong?
oh and one more thing. a friend broke up with her bf and got together with a guy who's in med school residency. some accused her of gold-digging? my question is, is gold-digging wrong? do girls stick by their ideals, or do they make realistic calculated decisions like "hey i'm about to graduate soon, i need to find someone who can support the family"? i mean, i'd kinda understand if a girl left me for some rich ass doctor (damn u south campusers! i must make fun of u while i have the chance hahaha).
so it's getting to the end of 2nd year in college, and its more and more common for people to talk about relationships and marriage. i mean, you got 2 years to find someone in college to settle down with. or at least i'd think my chances are better in college; my career choices (law, international relations, business) not only have a disproprotionate ratio of men to women, but lack asians to begin with (not that an asian partner is necessary for me though). so, me being not really experienced, where do i start?
a few days ago i remember someone's xanga entry with all these idealistic qualities of how their ideal partner would look like. obviously everyone's ideals go down the drain when they actually meet the guy/girl, but it's a nice starting place. and it's not that hard... just think of all the qualities you'd want in a best friend (or basically in yourself) right?
so, i made this list with my requisites for educational background, spending ability, cultural background, career ambitions, how involved they'd be with the kids, their hobbies, their political beliefs, where they'd want to live, and their religious background.
but then i read someone else's xanga entry, and there was a story where the girl asked the guy "what can you do for ME?" ... and i thought geez, i'm really not very family valuable, as in, i'm not a good cook, i dont know what my career path is going to be and how much money ill make, i'm a lazy bum who procrastinates, i dont have many social skills, etc... basically i dont bring much to the table. so why should i be making all these demands if i first dont make demands on myself? and as i reflected on my personality, i realized i changed a bit from high school. i used to be the "nice guy that finishes last" type who'd get into multi-hour long deep convos with others and help ppl solve their problems. nowadays? i'm... quite disconnected from everyone, i dont really have close friends where i can replicate that. so i really need to improve on myself first before i can ask of qualities from a potential partner.
anyway, my last "rant" is based on one of the qualities of my partner. i remember in mr. phillips' psych class that two partners of different religions wont really work out, and ill be on the screwed over side, cuz then the kid will be like "mommy, why doesnt daddy go to church?" okay so i wont include my religious crusader rant in here, but makes me think... will i have to compromise my current status in order to meet the religious requirements of my partner, and if so, would that be "morally" wrong?
oh and one more thing. a friend broke up with her bf and got together with a guy who's in med school residency. some accused her of gold-digging? my question is, is gold-digging wrong? do girls stick by their ideals, or do they make realistic calculated decisions like "hey i'm about to graduate soon, i need to find someone who can support the family"? i mean, i'd kinda understand if a girl left me for some rich ass doctor (damn u south campusers! i must make fun of u while i have the chance hahaha).