i've said too much already, but i'll tell you something more...

[kezwich]

"happiness is simple...only misery is so complicated."

--marge piercy

~

i am going to cease over-complicating my life and my heart

there is only love.

its quantities and direction matter less than the love itself.

~

i want to sink my fingers into truth like a bucket of worms, pink and soft and repulsive and necessary;
i want earth beneath my fingernails and lies out of my belly.
my heart is open tonight, my heart is ready to love and ready to receive or not receive in turn;
my heart is a telephone call on a pay phone, my heart is an open window with a clean breeze, my heart is a map with veins of highways and places to take you; my heart is full of strength untold.
i want to have without holding.
i want to make soup and kiss the scars you carry,
i want to explode into a typewritten exclamation point,
i want to let go of what i love and have it return.
i want to free the beaten from defeat,
and i want to rise above all the shit.
i want to sing spirituals filled with boisterous dirty words,
i want to build campfires,
i want to be AUTHENTIC.
i want to be brave,
i want to be braver than you,
i want to pull you to places you thought you'd never go.
i want more lime juice,
i want less shame,
i want to fucking go swimming.
my heart is ani difranco, my heart is conor oberst, my heart is isaac brock, my heart is aesop rock, my heart is nasty nas. my heart has something to say.

my heart is heaving a big fucking sigh of relief,
and my body is ready to relinquish the weight and live.

~

(when kerry comes home another piece of my heart will fall back into place.)