Where Will You Go?
Title: Where Will You Go?
Pairing: OnKey
Genre: not sure(romance?angst?)
Summary: Kibum stopped his hand from touching Jinki, who was asleep. His heart crippled, his hands trembled a little, he was not allowed to touch Jinki’s white cheek, which seems half wet. He could see tears flowing, almost drying on those cheeks.
Kibum stopped his hand from touching Jinki, who was asleep. His heart crippled, his hands trembled a little, he was not allowed to touch Jinki’s white cheek, which seems half wet. He could see tears flowing almost drying on those cheeks. Although Jinki’s face half covered by his yellow blanket. Kibum just stood there and stared at his leader's face.
"Ah! Is he still sleeping?!, The bathroom was empty!" Jonghyun suddenly entered the room, with a small towel stuck on his head, and stepped forward to waking Jinki.
"Eh?! Let me! I'll wake him!" Kibum prevented his action. "Go get your breakfast! It’s prepared!".
Jonghyun shrugged his shoulders, and leaved the room. "But remember, Onew-hyung had a schedule this morning!! You should wake him up now!" he said casually.
"Okay!" Kibum answered.
Kibum turned his face to face the sleeping Jinki. Slowly, he sat on the bed next to Jinki’s, he looked at Jinki’s face, thinking hard. "Maybe, I'll wait until it really dries up!".
//You’re too important for anyone//
//You play the role of all you long to be//
//But I, I know who you really are//
//You’re the one who cries when you’re alone//
The sunlight was entering the sidelines of a wooden window, touching Jinki's white skin. Jinki was frowning, trying to open his eyes, when he saw a beautiful white hand pulled him out, from his dream world.
"Wake up, Onew-hyung!!." That voice! The very first sound that entering his ear when he returned to the real world. Still half asleep, he stirred his body. Still lying on the mattress. vaguely, he saw the white hands,that was busy opening the curtains, letting sunlight glare on his eyes for his eyes that still could not clearly see the world.
"Hurry up! Onew-hyung! Breakfast was ready, and Manager-hyung has arrived." continued the owner of the white hands. Jinki just nodded, and let Kibum leaved him in that room.
He looked toward the origin of the sunlight, which shining on his face. He could not feel the warm of sunlight, even it was shinning brightly, Jinki's heart was still not warm. Jinki draw a deep breath, and walked lazily to the bathroom.Warm water from the shower touched every pore of his white skin and flushed his brown hairs. He lifted his head, letting the warm water droplets touched his face. Then he stepped out, dried his body, and stopped in front of a box-shaped mirror.
"How can I be like this?!" he muttered, when he saw his reflection on the mirror. He rubbed his face, closed his eyes, fiddled with his heart, and rearranged his thoughts. Lowering his hands, he opened his eyes and saw his face glowed with a bright smile, reflected on the mirror.
"I am Onew!" he said, adding a smile brighter than the summer weather. He half-ran, out of the room, and quickly sat down in front of a plate of blueberry pancakes. He ate a big piece of pancake into his mouth at once.
"Yahh! Onew-hyung! ~ Be careful!" Said Taemin with a grimace.
"Hahaha" Jinki, only raised a smile, with his mouth full with blueberry sauce. He chewed the pancake. He just realized, how every breakfast was that he has ate always gave him a warm feeling. Warmer than the sun felt, which always teased him with spoiled.
“Kibum-ah! This pancake is delicious!" he said with a grin. Kibum just returned his glared with sympathetic eyes. But somehow. Kibum’s eyes looked half-empty. So Jinki could only saw him, and thought, 'what is he thinking?’.
"Onew! Come on, you're almost late!" said the manager, as he walked out. Onew returned his gaze. to his pancakes. He chewed it in a hurry, with a myriad plans is being processed in his brain.
"Alright! I'm off! Ah! Taemin, do not forget! After school, you will be picked up by your own program’s car! So, do not wait for the manager's car, ok?!" As a leader, he was responsible for all his members. He took his bag and his jacket as he walked briskly toward the outside.
"Ah! Jonghyun, Key, you are already getting ready for later variety, aren’t you?" He asked, as he put his foot into the shoe. "Minho, not home, huh?" he must ensure that all his members to run their day well, he is the leader. Jinki, busy tied his shoelaces, when suddenly a red t-shirt, pushed on his right neck. Reflexed, Jinki turned his head and he saw Kibum handed a t-shirt.
"You forgot your workout clothes!" he added dryly, and then insert the t-shirt into Jinki’s backpack.
"Thanks!" Jinki said, not forgetting to put a smile on his face. But once again, he was getting sympathy from that half-empty looked eyes.
"What is wrong with you??!" Jinki asked. confused on Kibum’s stared.
"When are you coming home?" Kibum asked in return.
With a joking tone and a big smile, Onew replied "Why? You've missed me already?!"
"Yes!" Kibum replied, with a flat tone and flat expression as well.
Somehow when Jinki hear it, he thought perhaps it’s only a joking answer for his joking question, but he felt a warm light blanket covered his heart. However, then he returned back to his soul, turned toward the door and looked back at Kibum, he added "Maybe tonight I'm home!". He gripped the handle of the door, pressed it, and stepped out. With a broad smile, he said to his self "I'm Onew!".
//But where will you go?//
//With no one left to save you from yourself//
//You can’t escape//You can’t escape//
Laughter sound, lights brightly lit, fancy clothes, jokes, entertainers. With a flat face, Kibum pressed the remote button carelessly. His finger stoped, when the tv screen displayed images of a familiar face.
"Ah! That’s his program! Onew-hyung!" Taemin bright voiced and sat on the floor, next to Key’s leg.
"Really?! I want to see it!" Minho went to sit down next to Taemin.
gyahahahahahahahaha!
mwahahaha!what did he do?!
Laughter of Taemin and Minho, not terminated, they even occasionally hit the floor to hold back their laughter.
"Really! Daebak Onew-hyung!" Minho shook his head. His gaze still fixed on the TV screen.
"He's a pro! Haha, he really fits of laughter! Right, Key-hyung?!!" Taemin said, as he looked up at the Key, who sat on the couch.
"Hmph, yeah, right, with laughter!" he said, grinning. 'Why, those person, even laugh like that?!' Kibum growled in his heart.
//You think that I can’t see right through your eyes?//
//Scared to death to face reality//
//No one seems to hear your hidden cries//
//You’re left to face yourself alone//
Jinki looked at his watch. It was after 2 am. He entered the elevator alone then pressed the button that reads the number 14. Alone in a small box room, Jinki eyes saw the reflection of himself from the elevator door. He saw the reflection of a boy, neatly dressed, with a tired face, stood alone.That feeling come again. Feeling empty, cold and suspicious. He was losing something, losing himself. He leaned back against the wall of the elevator, his eyes closed. Since when he felt a feeling like this? Feeling empty, feeling his heart was made into a cold, feeling suspicious to everyone. Fear that they will hate him. Fear if they will leave him alone in the end.
The elevator stopped, when the lights showed number 14. The elevator doors opened and Jinki opened his eyes. He stepped off the elevator. He stepped out to the fatigue. Touching his jacket pocket, he pulled out his dorm key card, opened the door and reluctantly entered into a quiet dorm. He was accustomed to the silence. He took off his shoes and walked in. He was a little surprised when he saw the kitchen light was still on. He cautiously walked toward the kitchen then he saw a guy with pink pajamas, busy dealing with the kitchen table.
"Kibum?!" Jinki called.
Kibum looked "Ah, you're home!" he said briefly.
"What are you doing?" Jinki said. Remember this is not a reasonable time to be in the kitchen.
"Can’t you see? I'm cooking!" he said flatly.
"I mean .... you're not asleep?"
"You said, you go home tonight, right?!" those words touched his heart. Made it feel little comfort.
"You ... wait for me?"
"This! Drink this!" Kibum said, handing him a glass of warm milk caramel.
Jinki accepted it, drank it slowly. Those drink felt very warm through his throat, even more it’s heart-warming.
He lifted his head. He saw Kibum was sitting in front of him. Staring at him, intently. He shaked his head. "Kibum, you're supposed to be sleep! Don’t count on my work hours as a leader!" he said with a tone of authority.
"Alright, but, you also have to sleep!"
"Don’t have to remind me, I really want to sleep! Hehe!" He tried to laugh. However, Kibum not laughed.
"Emmm okay, you sleep first! Later I catch up, I want to get shower first!" Jinki said, finally, because laughter strategy did not work. Jinki walked into the bathroom, he could still feel that Kibum stared at him.
//But where will you go?//
//With no-one left to save you from yourself//
//You can't escape the truth//I realise you're afraid//
//But you can’t abandon everyone//You can’t escape//
"I said you could sleep first, right?" Jinki said, when entering the room still with a smile on his face.
"Yes, I'm going to bed!" Kibum replied, looking up from his bed.
"Eh? Not want to sleep?! Why wake up?" Kibum didn’t care with Jinki’s questions. He walked towards the socket and turned off the lights.
"Eh? You do not like the dark, don’t you?"
"I can! I can sleep in a dark room!" Kibum tried to follow Jinki’s rhythm.
"Don’t have to push yourself! I can sleep as usual, in my blanket!" Jinki said, laughing.
"I said, I can!" Kibum said, his voice rising. For some time, Jinki only looked at Kibum in the dark.
"Ah, well, it's up to you!”
"Where are you going?", asked Kibum, when Jinki even passed him and went out of the room.
"Come on! Sleep alone. I think, I still want to watch my favorite show first!" Jinki said as he turned and smiled, walked toward the living room.
Kibum could only look at the figures, which now with a calm, walked away from him. Kibum was very upset! Why, the one he particularly cared about, didn’t understand what he meant. 'Yahh! Lee Jinki! I care about you! '.
//I’m so sick of speaking words that no one understands//
//Is it clear enough that you can’t live your whole life all alon//e
//I can hear you in a whisper//But you can’t even hear me screaming//
Jinki sat on the couch. He still turned on the tv, although he didn’t watched it. He sat and curled up hugging his knees. His eyes seemed empty like his heart, which was also empty! Just a lot of things mixed in his mind. His brain is full! It’s likely to explode. He grabbed his head tightly. Unconsciously, hot liquids spitted out of his eyelid. Although he closed his eyes, tears still not stopped. Jinki lost in his dark world, filled with loneliness and helplessness.
Suddenly, he felt a warm touch on his neck. With hands which are wrapping around his neck, and embracing his head, pulled Jinki into his arms.
Jinki could smell the scent of lily flowers and strawberries. When he tried to open his eyes, he could only saw the pale neck which contrasts with the collar of a pink pajamas.
"I already told you! I can! I can sleep in a dark room!" Kibum said, his voice shaking. "If you don’t understand, I can sleep in the dark! as long as you show your face. That face, which always hiding behind the blanket every night,!" Now, even his voice like a sob.
Jinki felt the warmth of shelter. His heart began to fill with warm winds,from sweet fragrance, which he inhaled. His mind, which nearly blew up, little by little began to breathe.
"...And ..... when I receive such warmth like this it will disappear the shadows. What if the one, who get those love, was the another me? I was smiling and do good jobs! But what if there is no sincerity on their smiles? ... what if .. " he sobbed in Kibum’s warm embrace.
Kibum hugged him more tightly. Jinki could feel his hair is wet from Kibum's tears."Aaaarrgh, this world is! I hate this world, full of lies!" he cried. Jinki felt tired with his world now. World which cannot even distinguish between a sincere smile and smile for the money. "I'm__tired!" he sobbed weakly.
Only a few seconds after all his thoughts was leaking, Kibum bowed his face. Align it with Jinki's. Touched his lips with Jinki's. Jinki reflex closed his eyes. He felt the warmth, spread throughout his body, when the pink lips touched his.
"Whether is the shadows still there? Did you still think, that all I have done are a falsehood?!"
There’s no answer from Jinki. He just enjoyed the warmth. He could just feel and looked at Kibum, with eyes still wet.
"You can come to my world, if you're tired with your own!" Kibum said in his sobs.
Although their real world is the same, but the world in their possession are different. Onew's world, full of responsibility, which cannot put Jinki’s hand on it. While with Key’s world, who brought Kibum along with him to face a world full of lies, which they must live.
Jinki felt safe. He let his head leaning on Kibum’s shoulders and felt that his heart is very comfortable. Comfortable because he knew that there are other places, which accepted him as Jinki. And there’s someone who would accompany him and accept him as Jinki or Onew.
There’s places which are Belong to His Heart.
//Where will you go?//With no-one left to save you from yourself//
//You can't escape the truth//I realise you're afraid//
//But you can’t reject the whole world//
//You can’t escape//You won’t escape//You can’t escape//
//You don’t want to escape//
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constructive criticism, and comments from you. I really hopes, I'm sorry, if there is a wrong grammar or wrong in spelling. I'm clumsy like this. =,=
thaaannnkkk youuuuu soooo much for heenoona the one who helped me with her beta(proof read) I LOVE YOU~