(no subject)
Um, so I kind of want to slap myself when I read what I'd written about Matt (or PB or Portuguese boy, whatever I called him) nearly 2 years ago. Granted, I couldn't have possibly known he'd cheat on me with a man my father's age a month later, but...still. It does a lot to explain why I've got trust issues, though. Thank God I knew better than to blame myself for that shit. That'd have been ugly. Ha, I specifically remember listening to "Good Luck" by Basement Jaxx in my hotel room in Lisbon, belting it out before going out with a woman from Rhinebeck that I'd met on the train. I found the lyrics hilariously harsh and appropriate.
God, that was some messed-up shit now that I think about it. And in spite of the fact that I would randomly start crying at dinner for around 2 or 3 days after I found out what he did, I actually got a lot out of the whole deal. I know what I won't stand for, I know I deserve to be treated with respect and dignity, and, perhaps most importantly, I learned that I probably shouldn't spit on someone, no matter how badly they screwed me over (even if it gave me a rush).
Oh, relationships.
Have I really been with Xavier for nearly a year and a half?
God, that was some messed-up shit now that I think about it. And in spite of the fact that I would randomly start crying at dinner for around 2 or 3 days after I found out what he did, I actually got a lot out of the whole deal. I know what I won't stand for, I know I deserve to be treated with respect and dignity, and, perhaps most importantly, I learned that I probably shouldn't spit on someone, no matter how badly they screwed me over (even if it gave me a rush).
Oh, relationships.
Have I really been with Xavier for nearly a year and a half?