Into your End of the World 16/16 (completed)
title: Into your End of the World
chapter rating: R
warnings: possibly triggering content
summary: Park Chanyeol works for the quasi-governmental System in the post-apocalyptic Seoul, leading a simple, dull life without close friends or keeping contact to his family. When he is given the job to trail a university student called Byun Baekhyun, everything seems to go smoothly - until Chanyeol gets an unexpected visit and a warning and finds the case he's involved in is much more cruel than he has expected.
story notes: See the foreword for more information on the story. Here's some shameless self-promotion.
Inside the case was a USB memory stick made of white plastic, very much the opposite in design compared to the peculiar document cache. He picked it up, looked at it, and not really knowing what more to do, looked over at Baekhyun. Even in the current situation the sight of the brown haired boy warmed him up. Baekhyun looked ever so slightly surprised and they stared at each other for a long second before the shorter pulled his laptop closer, opened it, and gestured for Chanyeol to get closer.
Moving for the first time in what felt like an eternity he stepped past Kris and over to the desk plugging the memory stick in. The laptop hummed against the books it was resting on top of. In a bit the device appeared on the desktop; Baekhyun opened it with a tap on the mouse board revealing multiple files with incomprehensible names based on series of numbers and letters. They were in an alphabetical order.
The brunette opened the first on the list. It was a scanned physical examination record. The next five were of the same set, all with Chanyeol's name and ID number included, signed by a doctor he remembered having been involved in the check-up in the end of his Calcutec training, but the date on them was from a much earlier time: the records dated back to when he hadn't left for high school quite yet. He frowned. The next few were overall records on his training. There were also his high school report cards, his SAT results (seeing them made him grind his teeth, knowing how much better Baekhyun sitting by him had performed), and other papers similar to these.
But what caught his attention was the fact that all of these documents were from the spring before high school at earliest. There was nothing from his middle school years, nothing from elementary school, and nothing about his family or relatives. It was as if none of those things existed, at all.
And then, toward the end of the list, there was another scanned document with a signature from the man he'd met on his graduation day. It was much less formal in style, but still littered with obnoxious jargon here and there. Despite this, its contents were quite simple.
Silence rested in the room as both Chanyeol and Baekhyun read the page. The void remained when they were done. It was like suddenly sound had been removed from the world and he couldn't even hear the high-pitch note one sometimes got with momentary tinnitus. But Chanyeol wasn't really paying attention to that or being concerned with his hearing in general. He swallowed, his throat dry, his stomach turning.
"What does it say?" asked Kris, his tone clearly implying the silence was too thick to be just concentrated.
"It says", said Baekhyun, voice thin, weak, empty. Then, he read aloud.
Upon arrival to the scene, we found two individuals of the same age and gender, unconscious. Eyewitnesses said they had seen one of the boys identified as Byun Baekhyun disappearing into the flowing liquid. No eyewitness had any knowledge regarding the other boy. Upon recovery in the hospital, Byun Baekhyun had suffered minor concussion but recalled the scene before the accident itself, however he did not recognize there having been anyone else close to him upon contact. Park Chanyeol on the other hand did recognize having been with Byun Baekhyun at all times. He was able to provide a description of his family and a contact address, but the house turned out abandoned. Byun Baekhyun's family did not have any information regarding him. According to medical examinations both victims were fine.
We suspect that Park Chanyeol is a part of Byun Baekhyun's subconscious brought into our reality by the accident.
Part of a subconscious mind brought into reality.
Imaginary things brought to life.
We suspect that Park Chanyeol is a part of Byun Baekhyun's subconscious brought into our reality by the accident.
Our reality.
Imaginary.
Brought to life.
His head didn’t comprehend. He felt dizzy beyond understanding, his stomach feeling bad and his heart beating fast and deep like it was about to pop.
"As I thought", said Kris.
Chanyeol spun around eyes open wide as he stared at the taller man who'd taken his position against the sink system. Tao, too, looked completely unaffected by this piece of information. He wanted to sound like he hadn't been shocked, but producing a single word felt impossible, and thus, he only managed to cough out a weak "What?"
Kris sighed, looked away for a moment, and then turned back to him. By Chanyeol's side, Baekhyun had also slowly turned around in the chair. "I'll be honest with you, here. We've had that thing for a while, now."
"For a while", Chanyeol repeated. He didn't recognize his own voice.
"For a few weeks", Tao said.
"Since you were given the job", Kris nodded. "You were given the job, and we were given that. We didn't know what exactly was in it, but that guy at the System said that it was important regarding you. Baekhyun had already sought us out about the accident, so we were familiar with what your job had to do with. So, they send a seemingly regular guy to follow another seemingly regular guy."
"But", said Chanyeol. "There's a but."
To his surprise, Baekhyun was the one to say, "Yeah."
He turned to look at the brunette, who wasn't meeting his gaze. Looking down, his brushed-up fringe was in his line of sight and Chanyeol frowned, as he wasn't able to tell what was going on in those endless brown pools.
With a cough, Baekhyun continued. "I knew they were going to send you. They told me."
Chanyeol was blown. He slowly slid to the bed and dropped onto the edge. His head hurt with all the work his brain was suddenly doing, and yet, he couldn't put this together, at all. "Told...?"
"The System sent me a letter. Very official. It said they knew I'd stolen the data, and knew what the data was, and that they had a proposal. They'd send a guy named Park Chanyeol, a Calcutec, to snoop. Pretend not to notice you around for the time being. I'd get more information from Jongin."
"Jo..." Chanyeol was certain he'd faint, now, as he hadn't earlier. Baekhyun, whom he thought had really wanted to befriend him, had been pulling off a job much like himself. They'd both been hired for two roles in the same play. He felt what was left of his world slowly come apart by the seams. He was imaginary; there was no one for him to trust. Chanyeol wasn't certain which was worse. Both left him feeling scarred and powerless.
"We figured", Kris continued, "that they wanted to get rid of you for a reason or another - seems like this is it. It's been a pretty lengthy plan for them to prepare, to get you into a position like this. Coming to your place to warn you, that was my idea. But you didn't quit."
"I got tired of it", Baekhyun mumbled, "so I pulled off the trick in the bookstore."
"And then", Kris sighed, "they contacted us again and gave us the data they wanted you to shuffle."
The data. Chanyeol nodded his head a little bit even though the information was hardly sinking in. "What was it?" he asked quietly.
The room was silent for a while. "A program", Kris said at last. "A countdown to self-destruct in 48 hours."
"To self-destruct itself", Chanyeol exhaled a little hopefully.
Kris shook his head. "You", he said and pointed toward Chanyeol with his hand.
"Oh." He was out of things to say and out of ways to react. The caramel haired male could only nod his head slightly.
"I didn't know about this, though", Baekhyun whispered and pointed somewhere toward the laptop behind him. Chanyeol wanted to say it hardly mattered, but he couldn't muster the voice. He wanted a moment to himself.
Kris shifted toward the doorway, and Tao stepped back. Chanyeol could hear him say they were heading out, but he wasn't sure if he'd reacted to it himself. The next thing he registered was the sound of the door closing.
This was beyond comprehensible. During his life (which now seemed an uncertain existence), Chanyeol had fully adapted to the fact that his line of work as an employee of the System was not a layman's regular paper pusher job, and that nobody really knew that Calcutecs even existed. It was like working for the CIA or something, carrying out secret missions and not being allowed - or much rather, able - to discuss it with people, and yet, much more than any CIA pencil neck could imagine. He'd adapted to knowing his brain contained all the information he couldn't read, and that he'd been trained to work like a computer would, processing information. That was still understandable to a point. It was something one got used to knowing with time. He'd grown used to being a solemnly solitary person due to what he did, that the most human contact he got was at the office over a cup of coffee talking about the weather, never really growing close with his co-workers. He loved working non-stop because it allowed him the freedom of not having to figure out what to do with his time. These were all things any person would, with time, grow used to.
But this, here, now, was beyond things one could eventually adapt to. He wasn't real. He wasn't a human being. How long had he really existed? Since the accident he'd only learned about a few days ago? He had memories growing up. He had a life. But the document still open on the laptop screen said it wasn't real.
He got up, then crouched next to the bags and dug out his phone. Switching it on, Baekhyun's eyes following his actions from the chair, Chanyeol waited for the phone to find some coverage and then dialled the number he remembered in his sleep: his home number.
The ringback lasted long - probably forever - it was hollow and dull. Then, his breath catching in his throat, the line crackled and an unfamiliar boy's voice asked, "Hello?"
The tall male registered the soft lisp, but couldn't think of anyone he'd ever met.
"This is Chanyeol", he said slowly, as if his organs had forgotten how to produce sound. "Uh, this is the Park residence, right? I'd like to speak to my mother..."
A short silence ensued. Then, the male voice said, "No, sorry, this is the Oh residence."
"Oh residence", he repeated. "I'm sorry, I must've gotten the number wrong."
"It's okay."
"Err, I'm sorry to bother, but how long has your family lived in the house...?"
Again, the boy in the other end was quiet for a moment. "We moved in over ten years ago. It was empty before that."
"I see... I'm sorry to bother you. Thank you."
He hung up, and stared at the phone in his hand quietly. The document stated his house had been abandoned. He'd never reached anyone when he'd called, but then, his family travelled a lot, his father often getting invited overseas, his mother most often going with his father. His sister was studying out of Seoul. It was understandable, a possible coincidence, that he'd always called at a bad time. He refused to believe his family would have moved without telling him- But abandoned? His family had lived in that house. He'd grown up in that house.
"Chanyeol?" Baekhyun's voice asked weakly from behind him.
"Mm", he nodded his head, signalling he'd heard the brunette, whilst his head wasn't really registering any of it from the racing thoughts.
"Are you okay?"
He sighed, dropping the phone into his bag. "I'd like to go to my home", he said quietly. His apartment. His home, his sanctuary. Baekhyun's little dorm room was homely and comfortable, but it wasn't where he wanted to be right now. He needed his own place, his sofa, kitchen, cups and mugs in familiar places, the walk-in closet with stacks of CDs and cassettes. His bed, linen, curtains.
"I'll come with you", said the other.
They got going, Chanyeol carrying one of his bags and Baekhyun the other. He felt it was somewhat necessary to bring his things back to the condo. They boarded the subway, but didn't speak as they rode the few stops along the line and got off nearby the apartment building. Chanyeol hadn't ever realized they lived that close to each other. It was a little funny how it struck him only now, at such a time.
The condo was quiet. The door was in place, locked, there were no muddy footprints running across the wooden floor. It was all quite all right; so much that Chanyeol couldn't help wondering whether anyone had ever really been there. Maybe it had been a plot to get him out. He'd been lied to so many times during these days - or at least the truth had been kept from him - that it wouldn't surprise him had someone told him nobody had come looking for him. It was obvious by the fact that Baekhyun had been sent a letter by the System that they knew where the brunette lived, and yet, nobody had come for him there either. Chanyeol stood in the hallway for a while, then put down the bag and kicked off his high tops. Baekhyun left his canvas shoes by the door next to Chanyeol's. They stepped further in, and Chanyeol idly roamed to the kitchen to brew coffee. It felt natural. Listening to the water boil in the machine, he felt at home, and more at peace.
He heard Baekhyun call from the bedroom, "You've a lot of photos of me." His voice sounded impressed, not offended.
"I had some three weeks, you know", Chanyeol replied, and retrieved a mug from the cupboard, pouring sugar and milk in ready for the coffee. Then, he walked over to where the brown haired boy was looking at the wall. Finally, looking at the pictures, he found the smallest sign of someone having been here: the photo he'd put on the wall only a couple of days ago had been pulled off, taped back into a different spot. "You knew I was there all the while but you ignored me pretty well."
"I meant it when I said I only noticed you last week", Baekhyun said frowning, and turned to look at the taller one. "I knew someone was trailing me, I knew your name, but I didn't see you before then."
Chanyeol nodded his head a little and turned to explore the dark eyes, truthful and honest. Baekhyun looked weary, and Chanyeol wondered if he, himself, looked as burnt out by all that had happened. He lifted his hands to rub the back of his neck, the muscles aching madly, lowering his eyes and finally pushed the glasses up his nose a little. His heart felt strange.
Then, gently, carefully, not wanting to hurt or offend, he leaned to place a short kiss on the thin pink lips. His head felt like it was spinning, and almost as soon Chanyeol pulled back, standing awkwardly with his hands pressed against both sides of his neck. Baekhyun looked at him with a dash of suspicion, but he was smiling again, that extravagant and brilliant smile; it caught Chanyeol, as well, although his variation was a little less shiny.
"You've a nice place, here", Baekhyun commented, then.
"Thanks." He was overcome by terrible sorrow then as he looked around at the bedroom, the messy desk that was now void of paper files, but where the pens and other things still laid in seemingly no order. The closet door was open, and he could see the empty places on the shelves from where Kris had pulled his clothes. Returning his eyes to Baekhyun's face, he trailed his fingers smoothly over the fine bridge of the boy's nose, the same way he would touch the pictures taped on the wall, and bit his lip. "Who am I?"
Baekhyun's smile died and they looked at each other in utter silence. "I'm not completely sure", the shorter said finally.
"If they're right", Chanyeol said, referring to the documents, but realizing it probably came off sounding like he'd meant the System. It didn't matter. Technically it was all the same. "If they're right, you're the only one who really knows. Do you think it's true?"
Biting his lip Baekhyun fled his proximity, drifting to the living room, standing by the sofa. Chanyeol walked past him to pour himself some coffee, but didn't really feel like drinking it anymore, and ended up pouring the drink down the sink before going to sit on the sofa. The situation was exacerbated by what Kris had said about the shuffling job he'd carried out right here on the couch. He could imagine the paper files on the coffee table. Biting his lip, Chanyeol leaned his head back. A program. A program that was made to self-destruct him in two days. Two days from the job. His stomach turned.
That was today, he thought. How would it be like? He didn't feel very bad considering the big picture, although his mind was all over the place and his heart was constantly beating hard. But in the end, Chanyeol didn't really want to think about dying in this situation. He wasn't afraid of death as it was, but he'd always liked to imagine it'd come naturally, in time, and that he'd somehow get to prepare for it. Now, there had even been the chance of nobody telling him. Life might've just come to an end without a warning. Would it hurt? He hummed a low note.
"I remember when I was small", Baekhyun cut his thoughts off, "I was kind of lonely. My brother is a lot older than me, you know, and I hung with him and his friends a lot, but I didn't really have friends of my own age."
"Huh", huffed Chanyeol with a nod.
"But I remember when I was in elementary school, there was always someone I was playing with."
Chanyeol frowned a little. He thought about elementary school. The memories were distant and blurry, the sort generic childhood memories often were. Pointing out details was difficult, timelines crossed each other and signs of chronology were hard to find. He could recall playing games with a kid his age, but their face, voice and name slipped him. He used to visit their house, too, sometimes go to places with them...
"And I told that boy everything at the time", Baekhyun added.
"Do you remember seeing me there when the accident happened?" It felt so alien to talk about it. He knew the overall details and events, even the outcome, but he couldn't remember being there. It was like having sleepwalked and being told what had happened. Imagining oneself in the situation was possible, but it didn't feel like it had really happened, while everyone else had his or her own stories from how it all had gone. He looked up into the ceiling. Baekhyun was lost in thought, and Chanyeol repeated his question.
"Hmm", said the brunette. "There was someone, I'm sure of it."
"But you can't remember clearly?"
"Mm... I think so."
"Hmm."
Thick silence took over the condo again. Chanyeol wondered when would his 48 hours be up. His stomach turned at the thought. He wished it'd happen nicely, peacefully. Would his head explode? Hopefully not. That wouldn't be pretty.
"So", he said finally, and heard Baekhyun hum, "I'm not real."
"You're real", Baekhyun refused, his voice only a little louder than a whisper, but the silence might've just been deafening and he might've been speaking in a regular voice for all Chanyeol knew. "You're real... I fell asleep listening to your heartbeats, you're very real."
"But I wasn't, before", Chanyeol corrected his statement.
Baekhyun was quiet for a moment. "Even if you weren't", he said finally, and sounded conclusive, "it doesn't matter. To me, you've always been real."
Chanyeol looked up toward the boy leaning against the back of the sofa, facing the bedroom doorway. Neither spoke for a moment, then Chanyeol stated, "You do remember."
"The more I think about it the clearer it grows. It's like a veil was being pulled from over my eyes."
"Poetic", Chanyeol commented. Baekhyun chuckled.
"When I saw you a week ago I was certain I'd met you... And when I let you into my home I knew we'd been close, I knew you. It was you back then, it couldn't have been anyone else. You were always there with me", the brown haired boy said, and now, Chanyeol was certain his voice was only a whisper. "Ever since I remember. You lived with your family in a house a few blocks from us. It was an empty house; I snuck in to play sometimes. You'd come over to my place, and we'd play in the yard. We went to the same school. My brother didn't get along with you but my mom liked you. She said I could take you with me to family trips, so you were sometimes with us when we went to visit my grandparents."
It was strange to listen to the quiet, smooth voice produce these words. It was like another version of the little pieces of the puzzle he could remember, but much, much more exact and detailed. All Chanyeol could recall having a close friend, but his own house definitely hadn't been empty; he could recall traveling with this friend but not the destination, and he remembered sometimes visiting their house. He'd liked his friend's parents, but didn't remember their brother.
Baekhyun continued after a short, thoughtful silence. "When I was going to middle school my mother told me..." His voice broke. "My mother told me that I should make more friends at my new school. I didn't want to, at first, but at school, I made lots of friends... I didn't see you again for a while."
"And then there was the accident", said Chanyeol.
"Yeah."
"And somehow I was with you."
"I don't remember thinking you were there, but", Baekhyun inhaled sharply, and Chanyeol could tell by his voice the brown haired male was crying yet trying to hide it, "I guess the Stuff found you in my head and made you real to everyone else. But with all the training we both went through they made us forget. And now they want you gone because you're not-"
Chanyeol reached to tug the other's arm lightly to suggest Baekhyun sat down. Reluctantly, the shorter male came round the sofa and sat down by his side, tears streaming down his pale cheeks, smudged with eyeliner. Chanyeol pursed his lips and tried to wipe them. His feet felt a little numb, but he ignored that, wrapping his arms around the small frame to hug Baekhyun tight. Hearing those words from the other's lips, it all made sense, no matter how distant and unrealistic it felt to him. He'd known Baekhyun for his whole life, ever since day one, ever since the time he could remember, even though it was all something of a blur. The familiarity in the other's face, the warmth, the gentle voice, the way he felt like he knew everything about Baekhyun and the way Baekhyun seemed to read his thoughts. It all made sense.
"I don't want you to die", Baekhyun mumbled against his shoulder. "I don't want you to."
"I don't think there's anything I can do about it", Chanyeol mumbled. "I don't even know what it's like, this program."
"Maybe there's a way to bring you back." He could tell Baekhyun's voice was hopeful. Chanyeol wasn't sure if there was one; it would depend on what'd happen to him, right? They'd said the world inside his subconscious, the one he'd summon up when shuffling, would go on unaffected until his bodily functions would stop. Maybe he'd only succumb to this world until woken up, just like when working. Maybe his body wasn't going to deteriorate; maybe it would be more like coma than death. If so, then maybe there would indeed be a way.
"Maybe", he said, not elaborating further. It was unnecessary. He was sure Baekhyun knew it all just as well he did, and could reason just as much without Chanyeol voicing his thoughts.
They sat quietly like this, Baekhyun's face buried against the nook of his neck. Chanyeol breathed in the scent of his hair, eyes resting on nothing in particular. He was feeling tired like he hadn't slept or like after doing shuffling both at work and at home during the same day. "What about the disappearances?" he asked after a while. "Were they a part of this?"
Baekhyun sighed quietly. "What I stole", he whispered, "was about the accident. But it linked to the previous disappearances. I handed the information about that to Jongin, that was part of our deal. That's why he helped me get information."
"He owed you", Chanyeol summed up.
"Mm." Baekhyun looked up at him, his eyes a little red and his cheeks puffy. "I'm sorry you got lied to so much."
"It's not your fault, you know", the taller mused, and thought about Jongin who lived some few floors above him and wore Converse All Stars and how the black haired male had brought up the disappearances himself. Was it just to give Chanyeol something to think about? Probably.
"But it kind of is, right?" Baekhyun's voice was small and Chanyeol looked at him with raised brows. "I imagined you. But you're not a monster like they say those out there are..."
"I sure don't feel like a monster", said Chanyeol with a light chuckle.
The silence was comforting. As Baekhyun returned to his position resting his head against the other's shoulder, Chanyeol propped his chin lightly against the other's hair, leaning partly against the back of the couch. This was comfortable. He could stay like this forever.
He closed his eyes, engulfed by the dark ocean, reds and greens floating in his vision like waves.
"I'm glad I got to meet you", he whispered. "I really am." Even though it hadn't been the best way to get to know a forgotten lifetime friend.
Baekhyun said something, but his voice was distant and muffled, and Chanyeol couldn't make out the words.
He sighed.
Then, it was quiet.
***
The sun is rising slowly from behind them, its radiant glow spreading across the sky, yellows and oranges blending in blue hues and dry paintbrush clouds. It is a beautiful sunrise, the air calm and the woods quiet. Little waves hit the wooden pier in tranquil intervals. There is no trace of night left. The trees stand silent but gentle, the soft breeze playing in their leaves.
They sit on the pier and watch the man and the ferry slowly sail further toward where the rays of the sun rising higher to the sky touch the horizon. There is no going back to where he came from, but it does not concern him. He would forget, and the pain would be gone. He has found everything here, and even if he will forget this understanding of those longing songs that resound in the night, he feels at ease with the brown haired boy by his side, leaning a little against him. He can feel the boy is not angry at his decision, knows in his heart Baekhyun has wished for this, he has seen it in the ebony eyes how the road he has chosen is what the boy has hoped for. Chanyeol is happy. He is following his heart.
"I'm glad", he says, and tightens his grip of Baekhyun's hand, "as long as I can be a part of your world."
afterword;
I'd like to thank you all for reading this story.
When I started posting this on AFF I was hoping to get a few nice comments, some hundred views, and possible ten subscribers. That was my expection and goal, really. I usually write things for myself, these days, and had felt completely unable to write for years before coming up with this idea.
Even though I wrote this in a whim in such a short time, I grew extremely attached to the story. No, not just the story, I grew attached to the characters and the world. I'm very fond of my images of the surroundings and places in which the events take place, and thus I've wrote other things set in the same world, but mor about them a little later in this afterword.
I'm really surprised that so many people have enjoyed the story, commented and told me they do, praised the story, asked questions, and come back waiting for more. You have no idea how excited I've been to post each chapter knowing there are people wishing to read on and wanting to know what's happening. Sadly enough this is the last chapter, and with this, Chanyeol and Baekhyun's story has come to an end.
I hope you'll enjoy whatever else it is that I'll write and share with you.
I'd like to thank you all once again, no matter whether you stuck with me from the beginning or only joined after the story was completely posted.
chapter rating: R
warnings: possibly triggering content
summary: Park Chanyeol works for the quasi-governmental System in the post-apocalyptic Seoul, leading a simple, dull life without close friends or keeping contact to his family. When he is given the job to trail a university student called Byun Baekhyun, everything seems to go smoothly - until Chanyeol gets an unexpected visit and a warning and finds the case he's involved in is much more cruel than he has expected.
story notes: See the foreword for more information on the story. Here's some shameless self-promotion.
Inside the case was a USB memory stick made of white plastic, very much the opposite in design compared to the peculiar document cache. He picked it up, looked at it, and not really knowing what more to do, looked over at Baekhyun. Even in the current situation the sight of the brown haired boy warmed him up. Baekhyun looked ever so slightly surprised and they stared at each other for a long second before the shorter pulled his laptop closer, opened it, and gestured for Chanyeol to get closer.
Moving for the first time in what felt like an eternity he stepped past Kris and over to the desk plugging the memory stick in. The laptop hummed against the books it was resting on top of. In a bit the device appeared on the desktop; Baekhyun opened it with a tap on the mouse board revealing multiple files with incomprehensible names based on series of numbers and letters. They were in an alphabetical order.
The brunette opened the first on the list. It was a scanned physical examination record. The next five were of the same set, all with Chanyeol's name and ID number included, signed by a doctor he remembered having been involved in the check-up in the end of his Calcutec training, but the date on them was from a much earlier time: the records dated back to when he hadn't left for high school quite yet. He frowned. The next few were overall records on his training. There were also his high school report cards, his SAT results (seeing them made him grind his teeth, knowing how much better Baekhyun sitting by him had performed), and other papers similar to these.
But what caught his attention was the fact that all of these documents were from the spring before high school at earliest. There was nothing from his middle school years, nothing from elementary school, and nothing about his family or relatives. It was as if none of those things existed, at all.
And then, toward the end of the list, there was another scanned document with a signature from the man he'd met on his graduation day. It was much less formal in style, but still littered with obnoxious jargon here and there. Despite this, its contents were quite simple.
Silence rested in the room as both Chanyeol and Baekhyun read the page. The void remained when they were done. It was like suddenly sound had been removed from the world and he couldn't even hear the high-pitch note one sometimes got with momentary tinnitus. But Chanyeol wasn't really paying attention to that or being concerned with his hearing in general. He swallowed, his throat dry, his stomach turning.
"What does it say?" asked Kris, his tone clearly implying the silence was too thick to be just concentrated.
"It says", said Baekhyun, voice thin, weak, empty. Then, he read aloud.
Upon arrival to the scene, we found two individuals of the same age and gender, unconscious. Eyewitnesses said they had seen one of the boys identified as Byun Baekhyun disappearing into the flowing liquid. No eyewitness had any knowledge regarding the other boy. Upon recovery in the hospital, Byun Baekhyun had suffered minor concussion but recalled the scene before the accident itself, however he did not recognize there having been anyone else close to him upon contact. Park Chanyeol on the other hand did recognize having been with Byun Baekhyun at all times. He was able to provide a description of his family and a contact address, but the house turned out abandoned. Byun Baekhyun's family did not have any information regarding him. According to medical examinations both victims were fine.
We suspect that Park Chanyeol is a part of Byun Baekhyun's subconscious brought into our reality by the accident.
Part of a subconscious mind brought into reality.
Imaginary things brought to life.
We suspect that Park Chanyeol is a part of Byun Baekhyun's subconscious brought into our reality by the accident.
Our reality.
Imaginary.
Brought to life.
His head didn’t comprehend. He felt dizzy beyond understanding, his stomach feeling bad and his heart beating fast and deep like it was about to pop.
"As I thought", said Kris.
Chanyeol spun around eyes open wide as he stared at the taller man who'd taken his position against the sink system. Tao, too, looked completely unaffected by this piece of information. He wanted to sound like he hadn't been shocked, but producing a single word felt impossible, and thus, he only managed to cough out a weak "What?"
Kris sighed, looked away for a moment, and then turned back to him. By Chanyeol's side, Baekhyun had also slowly turned around in the chair. "I'll be honest with you, here. We've had that thing for a while, now."
"For a while", Chanyeol repeated. He didn't recognize his own voice.
"For a few weeks", Tao said.
"Since you were given the job", Kris nodded. "You were given the job, and we were given that. We didn't know what exactly was in it, but that guy at the System said that it was important regarding you. Baekhyun had already sought us out about the accident, so we were familiar with what your job had to do with. So, they send a seemingly regular guy to follow another seemingly regular guy."
"But", said Chanyeol. "There's a but."
To his surprise, Baekhyun was the one to say, "Yeah."
He turned to look at the brunette, who wasn't meeting his gaze. Looking down, his brushed-up fringe was in his line of sight and Chanyeol frowned, as he wasn't able to tell what was going on in those endless brown pools.
With a cough, Baekhyun continued. "I knew they were going to send you. They told me."
Chanyeol was blown. He slowly slid to the bed and dropped onto the edge. His head hurt with all the work his brain was suddenly doing, and yet, he couldn't put this together, at all. "Told...?"
"The System sent me a letter. Very official. It said they knew I'd stolen the data, and knew what the data was, and that they had a proposal. They'd send a guy named Park Chanyeol, a Calcutec, to snoop. Pretend not to notice you around for the time being. I'd get more information from Jongin."
"Jo..." Chanyeol was certain he'd faint, now, as he hadn't earlier. Baekhyun, whom he thought had really wanted to befriend him, had been pulling off a job much like himself. They'd both been hired for two roles in the same play. He felt what was left of his world slowly come apart by the seams. He was imaginary; there was no one for him to trust. Chanyeol wasn't certain which was worse. Both left him feeling scarred and powerless.
"We figured", Kris continued, "that they wanted to get rid of you for a reason or another - seems like this is it. It's been a pretty lengthy plan for them to prepare, to get you into a position like this. Coming to your place to warn you, that was my idea. But you didn't quit."
"I got tired of it", Baekhyun mumbled, "so I pulled off the trick in the bookstore."
"And then", Kris sighed, "they contacted us again and gave us the data they wanted you to shuffle."
The data. Chanyeol nodded his head a little bit even though the information was hardly sinking in. "What was it?" he asked quietly.
The room was silent for a while. "A program", Kris said at last. "A countdown to self-destruct in 48 hours."
"To self-destruct itself", Chanyeol exhaled a little hopefully.
Kris shook his head. "You", he said and pointed toward Chanyeol with his hand.
"Oh." He was out of things to say and out of ways to react. The caramel haired male could only nod his head slightly.
"I didn't know about this, though", Baekhyun whispered and pointed somewhere toward the laptop behind him. Chanyeol wanted to say it hardly mattered, but he couldn't muster the voice. He wanted a moment to himself.
Kris shifted toward the doorway, and Tao stepped back. Chanyeol could hear him say they were heading out, but he wasn't sure if he'd reacted to it himself. The next thing he registered was the sound of the door closing.
This was beyond comprehensible. During his life (which now seemed an uncertain existence), Chanyeol had fully adapted to the fact that his line of work as an employee of the System was not a layman's regular paper pusher job, and that nobody really knew that Calcutecs even existed. It was like working for the CIA or something, carrying out secret missions and not being allowed - or much rather, able - to discuss it with people, and yet, much more than any CIA pencil neck could imagine. He'd adapted to knowing his brain contained all the information he couldn't read, and that he'd been trained to work like a computer would, processing information. That was still understandable to a point. It was something one got used to knowing with time. He'd grown used to being a solemnly solitary person due to what he did, that the most human contact he got was at the office over a cup of coffee talking about the weather, never really growing close with his co-workers. He loved working non-stop because it allowed him the freedom of not having to figure out what to do with his time. These were all things any person would, with time, grow used to.
But this, here, now, was beyond things one could eventually adapt to. He wasn't real. He wasn't a human being. How long had he really existed? Since the accident he'd only learned about a few days ago? He had memories growing up. He had a life. But the document still open on the laptop screen said it wasn't real.
He got up, then crouched next to the bags and dug out his phone. Switching it on, Baekhyun's eyes following his actions from the chair, Chanyeol waited for the phone to find some coverage and then dialled the number he remembered in his sleep: his home number.
The ringback lasted long - probably forever - it was hollow and dull. Then, his breath catching in his throat, the line crackled and an unfamiliar boy's voice asked, "Hello?"
The tall male registered the soft lisp, but couldn't think of anyone he'd ever met.
"This is Chanyeol", he said slowly, as if his organs had forgotten how to produce sound. "Uh, this is the Park residence, right? I'd like to speak to my mother..."
A short silence ensued. Then, the male voice said, "No, sorry, this is the Oh residence."
"Oh residence", he repeated. "I'm sorry, I must've gotten the number wrong."
"It's okay."
"Err, I'm sorry to bother, but how long has your family lived in the house...?"
Again, the boy in the other end was quiet for a moment. "We moved in over ten years ago. It was empty before that."
"I see... I'm sorry to bother you. Thank you."
He hung up, and stared at the phone in his hand quietly. The document stated his house had been abandoned. He'd never reached anyone when he'd called, but then, his family travelled a lot, his father often getting invited overseas, his mother most often going with his father. His sister was studying out of Seoul. It was understandable, a possible coincidence, that he'd always called at a bad time. He refused to believe his family would have moved without telling him- But abandoned? His family had lived in that house. He'd grown up in that house.
"Chanyeol?" Baekhyun's voice asked weakly from behind him.
"Mm", he nodded his head, signalling he'd heard the brunette, whilst his head wasn't really registering any of it from the racing thoughts.
"Are you okay?"
He sighed, dropping the phone into his bag. "I'd like to go to my home", he said quietly. His apartment. His home, his sanctuary. Baekhyun's little dorm room was homely and comfortable, but it wasn't where he wanted to be right now. He needed his own place, his sofa, kitchen, cups and mugs in familiar places, the walk-in closet with stacks of CDs and cassettes. His bed, linen, curtains.
"I'll come with you", said the other.
They got going, Chanyeol carrying one of his bags and Baekhyun the other. He felt it was somewhat necessary to bring his things back to the condo. They boarded the subway, but didn't speak as they rode the few stops along the line and got off nearby the apartment building. Chanyeol hadn't ever realized they lived that close to each other. It was a little funny how it struck him only now, at such a time.
The condo was quiet. The door was in place, locked, there were no muddy footprints running across the wooden floor. It was all quite all right; so much that Chanyeol couldn't help wondering whether anyone had ever really been there. Maybe it had been a plot to get him out. He'd been lied to so many times during these days - or at least the truth had been kept from him - that it wouldn't surprise him had someone told him nobody had come looking for him. It was obvious by the fact that Baekhyun had been sent a letter by the System that they knew where the brunette lived, and yet, nobody had come for him there either. Chanyeol stood in the hallway for a while, then put down the bag and kicked off his high tops. Baekhyun left his canvas shoes by the door next to Chanyeol's. They stepped further in, and Chanyeol idly roamed to the kitchen to brew coffee. It felt natural. Listening to the water boil in the machine, he felt at home, and more at peace.
He heard Baekhyun call from the bedroom, "You've a lot of photos of me." His voice sounded impressed, not offended.
"I had some three weeks, you know", Chanyeol replied, and retrieved a mug from the cupboard, pouring sugar and milk in ready for the coffee. Then, he walked over to where the brown haired boy was looking at the wall. Finally, looking at the pictures, he found the smallest sign of someone having been here: the photo he'd put on the wall only a couple of days ago had been pulled off, taped back into a different spot. "You knew I was there all the while but you ignored me pretty well."
"I meant it when I said I only noticed you last week", Baekhyun said frowning, and turned to look at the taller one. "I knew someone was trailing me, I knew your name, but I didn't see you before then."
Chanyeol nodded his head a little and turned to explore the dark eyes, truthful and honest. Baekhyun looked weary, and Chanyeol wondered if he, himself, looked as burnt out by all that had happened. He lifted his hands to rub the back of his neck, the muscles aching madly, lowering his eyes and finally pushed the glasses up his nose a little. His heart felt strange.
Then, gently, carefully, not wanting to hurt or offend, he leaned to place a short kiss on the thin pink lips. His head felt like it was spinning, and almost as soon Chanyeol pulled back, standing awkwardly with his hands pressed against both sides of his neck. Baekhyun looked at him with a dash of suspicion, but he was smiling again, that extravagant and brilliant smile; it caught Chanyeol, as well, although his variation was a little less shiny.
"You've a nice place, here", Baekhyun commented, then.
"Thanks." He was overcome by terrible sorrow then as he looked around at the bedroom, the messy desk that was now void of paper files, but where the pens and other things still laid in seemingly no order. The closet door was open, and he could see the empty places on the shelves from where Kris had pulled his clothes. Returning his eyes to Baekhyun's face, he trailed his fingers smoothly over the fine bridge of the boy's nose, the same way he would touch the pictures taped on the wall, and bit his lip. "Who am I?"
Baekhyun's smile died and they looked at each other in utter silence. "I'm not completely sure", the shorter said finally.
"If they're right", Chanyeol said, referring to the documents, but realizing it probably came off sounding like he'd meant the System. It didn't matter. Technically it was all the same. "If they're right, you're the only one who really knows. Do you think it's true?"
Biting his lip Baekhyun fled his proximity, drifting to the living room, standing by the sofa. Chanyeol walked past him to pour himself some coffee, but didn't really feel like drinking it anymore, and ended up pouring the drink down the sink before going to sit on the sofa. The situation was exacerbated by what Kris had said about the shuffling job he'd carried out right here on the couch. He could imagine the paper files on the coffee table. Biting his lip, Chanyeol leaned his head back. A program. A program that was made to self-destruct him in two days. Two days from the job. His stomach turned.
That was today, he thought. How would it be like? He didn't feel very bad considering the big picture, although his mind was all over the place and his heart was constantly beating hard. But in the end, Chanyeol didn't really want to think about dying in this situation. He wasn't afraid of death as it was, but he'd always liked to imagine it'd come naturally, in time, and that he'd somehow get to prepare for it. Now, there had even been the chance of nobody telling him. Life might've just come to an end without a warning. Would it hurt? He hummed a low note.
"I remember when I was small", Baekhyun cut his thoughts off, "I was kind of lonely. My brother is a lot older than me, you know, and I hung with him and his friends a lot, but I didn't really have friends of my own age."
"Huh", huffed Chanyeol with a nod.
"But I remember when I was in elementary school, there was always someone I was playing with."
Chanyeol frowned a little. He thought about elementary school. The memories were distant and blurry, the sort generic childhood memories often were. Pointing out details was difficult, timelines crossed each other and signs of chronology were hard to find. He could recall playing games with a kid his age, but their face, voice and name slipped him. He used to visit their house, too, sometimes go to places with them...
"And I told that boy everything at the time", Baekhyun added.
"Do you remember seeing me there when the accident happened?" It felt so alien to talk about it. He knew the overall details and events, even the outcome, but he couldn't remember being there. It was like having sleepwalked and being told what had happened. Imagining oneself in the situation was possible, but it didn't feel like it had really happened, while everyone else had his or her own stories from how it all had gone. He looked up into the ceiling. Baekhyun was lost in thought, and Chanyeol repeated his question.
"Hmm", said the brunette. "There was someone, I'm sure of it."
"But you can't remember clearly?"
"Mm... I think so."
"Hmm."
Thick silence took over the condo again. Chanyeol wondered when would his 48 hours be up. His stomach turned at the thought. He wished it'd happen nicely, peacefully. Would his head explode? Hopefully not. That wouldn't be pretty.
"So", he said finally, and heard Baekhyun hum, "I'm not real."
"You're real", Baekhyun refused, his voice only a little louder than a whisper, but the silence might've just been deafening and he might've been speaking in a regular voice for all Chanyeol knew. "You're real... I fell asleep listening to your heartbeats, you're very real."
"But I wasn't, before", Chanyeol corrected his statement.
Baekhyun was quiet for a moment. "Even if you weren't", he said finally, and sounded conclusive, "it doesn't matter. To me, you've always been real."
Chanyeol looked up toward the boy leaning against the back of the sofa, facing the bedroom doorway. Neither spoke for a moment, then Chanyeol stated, "You do remember."
"The more I think about it the clearer it grows. It's like a veil was being pulled from over my eyes."
"Poetic", Chanyeol commented. Baekhyun chuckled.
"When I saw you a week ago I was certain I'd met you... And when I let you into my home I knew we'd been close, I knew you. It was you back then, it couldn't have been anyone else. You were always there with me", the brown haired boy said, and now, Chanyeol was certain his voice was only a whisper. "Ever since I remember. You lived with your family in a house a few blocks from us. It was an empty house; I snuck in to play sometimes. You'd come over to my place, and we'd play in the yard. We went to the same school. My brother didn't get along with you but my mom liked you. She said I could take you with me to family trips, so you were sometimes with us when we went to visit my grandparents."
It was strange to listen to the quiet, smooth voice produce these words. It was like another version of the little pieces of the puzzle he could remember, but much, much more exact and detailed. All Chanyeol could recall having a close friend, but his own house definitely hadn't been empty; he could recall traveling with this friend but not the destination, and he remembered sometimes visiting their house. He'd liked his friend's parents, but didn't remember their brother.
Baekhyun continued after a short, thoughtful silence. "When I was going to middle school my mother told me..." His voice broke. "My mother told me that I should make more friends at my new school. I didn't want to, at first, but at school, I made lots of friends... I didn't see you again for a while."
"And then there was the accident", said Chanyeol.
"Yeah."
"And somehow I was with you."
"I don't remember thinking you were there, but", Baekhyun inhaled sharply, and Chanyeol could tell by his voice the brown haired male was crying yet trying to hide it, "I guess the Stuff found you in my head and made you real to everyone else. But with all the training we both went through they made us forget. And now they want you gone because you're not-"
Chanyeol reached to tug the other's arm lightly to suggest Baekhyun sat down. Reluctantly, the shorter male came round the sofa and sat down by his side, tears streaming down his pale cheeks, smudged with eyeliner. Chanyeol pursed his lips and tried to wipe them. His feet felt a little numb, but he ignored that, wrapping his arms around the small frame to hug Baekhyun tight. Hearing those words from the other's lips, it all made sense, no matter how distant and unrealistic it felt to him. He'd known Baekhyun for his whole life, ever since day one, ever since the time he could remember, even though it was all something of a blur. The familiarity in the other's face, the warmth, the gentle voice, the way he felt like he knew everything about Baekhyun and the way Baekhyun seemed to read his thoughts. It all made sense.
"I don't want you to die", Baekhyun mumbled against his shoulder. "I don't want you to."
"I don't think there's anything I can do about it", Chanyeol mumbled. "I don't even know what it's like, this program."
"Maybe there's a way to bring you back." He could tell Baekhyun's voice was hopeful. Chanyeol wasn't sure if there was one; it would depend on what'd happen to him, right? They'd said the world inside his subconscious, the one he'd summon up when shuffling, would go on unaffected until his bodily functions would stop. Maybe he'd only succumb to this world until woken up, just like when working. Maybe his body wasn't going to deteriorate; maybe it would be more like coma than death. If so, then maybe there would indeed be a way.
"Maybe", he said, not elaborating further. It was unnecessary. He was sure Baekhyun knew it all just as well he did, and could reason just as much without Chanyeol voicing his thoughts.
They sat quietly like this, Baekhyun's face buried against the nook of his neck. Chanyeol breathed in the scent of his hair, eyes resting on nothing in particular. He was feeling tired like he hadn't slept or like after doing shuffling both at work and at home during the same day. "What about the disappearances?" he asked after a while. "Were they a part of this?"
Baekhyun sighed quietly. "What I stole", he whispered, "was about the accident. But it linked to the previous disappearances. I handed the information about that to Jongin, that was part of our deal. That's why he helped me get information."
"He owed you", Chanyeol summed up.
"Mm." Baekhyun looked up at him, his eyes a little red and his cheeks puffy. "I'm sorry you got lied to so much."
"It's not your fault, you know", the taller mused, and thought about Jongin who lived some few floors above him and wore Converse All Stars and how the black haired male had brought up the disappearances himself. Was it just to give Chanyeol something to think about? Probably.
"But it kind of is, right?" Baekhyun's voice was small and Chanyeol looked at him with raised brows. "I imagined you. But you're not a monster like they say those out there are..."
"I sure don't feel like a monster", said Chanyeol with a light chuckle.
The silence was comforting. As Baekhyun returned to his position resting his head against the other's shoulder, Chanyeol propped his chin lightly against the other's hair, leaning partly against the back of the couch. This was comfortable. He could stay like this forever.
He closed his eyes, engulfed by the dark ocean, reds and greens floating in his vision like waves.
"I'm glad I got to meet you", he whispered. "I really am." Even though it hadn't been the best way to get to know a forgotten lifetime friend.
Baekhyun said something, but his voice was distant and muffled, and Chanyeol couldn't make out the words.
He sighed.
Then, it was quiet.
***
The sun is rising slowly from behind them, its radiant glow spreading across the sky, yellows and oranges blending in blue hues and dry paintbrush clouds. It is a beautiful sunrise, the air calm and the woods quiet. Little waves hit the wooden pier in tranquil intervals. There is no trace of night left. The trees stand silent but gentle, the soft breeze playing in their leaves.
They sit on the pier and watch the man and the ferry slowly sail further toward where the rays of the sun rising higher to the sky touch the horizon. There is no going back to where he came from, but it does not concern him. He would forget, and the pain would be gone. He has found everything here, and even if he will forget this understanding of those longing songs that resound in the night, he feels at ease with the brown haired boy by his side, leaning a little against him. He can feel the boy is not angry at his decision, knows in his heart Baekhyun has wished for this, he has seen it in the ebony eyes how the road he has chosen is what the boy has hoped for. Chanyeol is happy. He is following his heart.
"I'm glad", he says, and tightens his grip of Baekhyun's hand, "as long as I can be a part of your world."
afterword;
I'd like to thank you all for reading this story.
When I started posting this on AFF I was hoping to get a few nice comments, some hundred views, and possible ten subscribers. That was my expection and goal, really. I usually write things for myself, these days, and had felt completely unable to write for years before coming up with this idea.
Even though I wrote this in a whim in such a short time, I grew extremely attached to the story. No, not just the story, I grew attached to the characters and the world. I'm very fond of my images of the surroundings and places in which the events take place, and thus I've wrote other things set in the same world, but mor about them a little later in this afterword.
I'm really surprised that so many people have enjoyed the story, commented and told me they do, praised the story, asked questions, and come back waiting for more. You have no idea how excited I've been to post each chapter knowing there are people wishing to read on and wanting to know what's happening. Sadly enough this is the last chapter, and with this, Chanyeol and Baekhyun's story has come to an end.
I hope you'll enjoy whatever else it is that I'll write and share with you.
I'd like to thank you all once again, no matter whether you stuck with me from the beginning or only joined after the story was completely posted.