as expected, we are (not, not at all, nowhere near) perfect
rating: r
pairing: yoochun/jaejoong
genre: angst + fluff = ???reality??
length: ~1200wc
summary: yoochun just needs a reminder that he's not alone.
Yoochun walks into Jaejoong’s apartment and the minute Jaejoong sees him he just knows. He doesn’t ask questions, just takes Yoochun’s coat and gives him a long hug and guides him to the dinner table.
“What do you need, Chunnie?”
Yoochun can’t find his voice.
“Does warm food sound good? Something to fill your stomach and help you sleep?”
Yoochun nods and sniffs.
Jaejoong heats up whatever he has and doesn’t rush too quickly around his kitchen, knowing it’ll only intensify Yoochun’s anxiety.
Yoochun eats slowly at first, then when he realizes how hungry he is and how good the food tastes (Jaejoong’s food always tastes good), he wolfs it down a bit faster.
The food doesn’t finish, because Jaejoong keeps piling more onto Yoochun’s plate. Yoochun looks at Jaejoong in question, aren’t you going to eat some too? but Jaejoong shakes his head and gives an understanding smile and keeps a warm, steady hand on Yoochun’s back, stroking it lightly as Yoochun eats his fill.
“What else do you need, babe?” Jaejoong asks, more softly this time.
Yoochun turns to him with glistening eyes. “Hyung…”
Jaejoong leans in, wraps Yoochun in a tight hug. He smells like garlic (because Jaejoong knows Yoochun likes his food with a lot of garlic, so he added more) and he smells like sadness.
“Just tell me, okay? You don’t have to be embarrassed. I’m always here for you.”
“Love. I need it right now.”
Jaejoong chuckles softly and strokes Yoochun’s hair. “You have all the love in the world.”
Yoochun shakes his head in frustration. “No, no, no! Not their love, not the fans. I want yours. I want Junsu’s. My mom’s. Yoohwan’s. I want Changmin’s and Yunho’s too-” Jaejoong stiffens a bit but doesn’t let go- “The people who I care about…I just want them to love me.”
“Yoochun,” Jaejoong sighs. “We all love you, okay? I love you very much.”
“You say that to me every day. I feel like it’s lost its meaning,” Yoochun confesses, and it hurts them both.
Jaejoong feels pain at the words but he knows Yoochun feels more so he just hugs him tighter. “Listen to me, Yoochun. I tell you those words every day because I think you are a person so spectacular and crucial to my life that you deserve to hear them every day. I tell them to you because I don’t know how to contain my overflowing feelings, my admiration for everything you are to me.”
Yoochun holds back sobs. “I’m sorry.”
Jaejoong clicks his tongue. “You have nothing to apologize for.”
“Hyung.”
“Yeah?”
“Love you.”
“What do you need Chun?”
And it’s in the way Yoochun looks up at him with those eyes, those eyes that he usually reserves for his most emotional, tortured scenes in his dramas-those eyes that hold everything in them, all the secrets of the universe (the key to Jaejoong’s heart), that Jaejoong realizes what Yoochun needs.
He just needs an occasional reminder.
So Jaejoong kisses him fully on the lips and leaves no space for emptiness, no space for doubt.
Yoochun runs a thumb across Jaejoong’s soft cheek and cups the side of his face and kisses back. Opens his mouth and lets Jaejoong’s tongue in, tastes him and then catches Jaejoong’s upper lip between his own two and feels, the fullness and the taste and doesn't want to let go, ever.
Jaejoong sighs and Yoochun swallows the air and pulls Jaejoong a bit closer into his chest. He needs to feel him closer, needs Jaejoong to be close and not far, never far away from Yoochun.
“Jae,” Yoochun whimpers, his kisses getting more frantic. He can’t calm down for some reason.
Jaejoong is concerned because Yoochun isn’t usually the needy one but he indulges Yoochun because this is what he needs right now. They get up and trip over each other a bit as they stumble toward the bed and usually at this point Jaejoong is ripping off Yoochun’s shirt but this time Yoochun is the one running the pads of his fingers under the light hem of Jaejoong’s sweater.
They make it to the bed and Jaejoong isn’t too familiar with having Yoochun beneath him but he does his best and tries to give Yoochun what he wants but when Yoochun’s hands shake as he undoes Jaejoong’s belt buckle Jaejoong grasps Yoochun’s hands in his own and looks down at the younger man with worry.
“Chun, slow down,” he urges.
Yoochun’s hands are still shaking and he can’t meet Jaejoong’s worried gaze. Jaejoong grips Yoochun’s chin and forces their eyes to meet. He sees hurt. He sees something he can’t understand. Fear? But that doesn’t make sense.
“Oh, Yoochun,” Jaejoong sighs, and settles down on the bed, lets Yoochun curl into his side. “Baby, please tell me what’s going on.”
Yoochun clings to Jaejoong for long, silent minutes. Jaejoong waits patiently, stroking Yoochun’s arm, his hair, his back. “Yoochun, please?”
Yoochun hides his face in Jaejoong’s shoulder and Jaejoong can’t remember how many years it’s been since Yoochun was like this. Ever since they started living separately Jaejoong was always the one who had breakdowns of loneliness and neediness and Yoochun was always there, with open arms and a lush bed to welcome him and give him those things he needed (affection, so much affection) like oxygen.
Seeing Yoochun like this, it’s like time traveling back seven, eight years when Yoochun was so unsure of everything but hid it with smiles and jokes. Jaejoong was so attracted to that complex boy, so fascinated, so he let Yoochun come to him and cry when he was weak. And somewhere between tear soaked pajama t-shirts and glistening eyes under slivers of moonlight filtering in through rattling windowpanes and pure, unshaken trust that Yoochun put in Jaejoong every time he needed a shoulder to cry on, Jaejoong fell so in love that he forgot his own name. Until Yoochun moaned it into their first kiss and then Jaejoong remembered that yes, that’s my name on his lips, my name in his breath and he is mine.
The thoughts and memories race through Jaejoong’s mind until Yoochun breaks the stillness as he tucks a lock of Jaejoong’s blonde hair behind his ear.
“Don’t leave me.”
“Never, Chun. Not ever.”
“Don’t leave me.”
“I won’t.”
“I love you.”
“Do you want me to say it back?” Jaejoong teases.
Yoochun smiles-really smiles, eyes turning into those beautiful half-moons Jaejoong could never get enough of. “Just show me,” he says, and his voice is louder than a whisper for the first time that night.
Jaejoong rocks into him slow and sweet like a lullaby from seven, eight years ago and the motion of their hips composes a song of trust and the meeting and parting, pulling and pushing of their lips hums a sweet melody. The moonlight filtering into the dark room is the harmony and as expected, together (even through the sweat and tears and all the long, long years) they are perfect.
“Why would I ever leave you?” Jaejoong wonders aloud as he traces patters around Yoochun’s thin hips and kisses his cheek.
“You wouldn’t,” and Yoochun says it as he realizes it, the truth of it, and all the love behind it.
“Never.”
a/n: written in about one hour on a very stressful day. i have a final tomorrow but i can't bring myself to look at one more chemistry related thing right now lol. sorry if there are spelling errors and stuff i just really want to post this and go to bed. i hope you like this. if you do, please leave a comment ♥. (also, are you guys watching the girl who sees smells / sensory couple? it's so good otl i can't get enough).
be my friend! twitter | k-pop tumblr | ask.fm
pairing: yoochun/jaejoong
genre: angst + fluff = ???reality??
length: ~1200wc
summary: yoochun just needs a reminder that he's not alone.
Yoochun walks into Jaejoong’s apartment and the minute Jaejoong sees him he just knows. He doesn’t ask questions, just takes Yoochun’s coat and gives him a long hug and guides him to the dinner table.
“What do you need, Chunnie?”
Yoochun can’t find his voice.
“Does warm food sound good? Something to fill your stomach and help you sleep?”
Yoochun nods and sniffs.
Jaejoong heats up whatever he has and doesn’t rush too quickly around his kitchen, knowing it’ll only intensify Yoochun’s anxiety.
Yoochun eats slowly at first, then when he realizes how hungry he is and how good the food tastes (Jaejoong’s food always tastes good), he wolfs it down a bit faster.
The food doesn’t finish, because Jaejoong keeps piling more onto Yoochun’s plate. Yoochun looks at Jaejoong in question, aren’t you going to eat some too? but Jaejoong shakes his head and gives an understanding smile and keeps a warm, steady hand on Yoochun’s back, stroking it lightly as Yoochun eats his fill.
“What else do you need, babe?” Jaejoong asks, more softly this time.
Yoochun turns to him with glistening eyes. “Hyung…”
Jaejoong leans in, wraps Yoochun in a tight hug. He smells like garlic (because Jaejoong knows Yoochun likes his food with a lot of garlic, so he added more) and he smells like sadness.
“Just tell me, okay? You don’t have to be embarrassed. I’m always here for you.”
“Love. I need it right now.”
Jaejoong chuckles softly and strokes Yoochun’s hair. “You have all the love in the world.”
Yoochun shakes his head in frustration. “No, no, no! Not their love, not the fans. I want yours. I want Junsu’s. My mom’s. Yoohwan’s. I want Changmin’s and Yunho’s too-” Jaejoong stiffens a bit but doesn’t let go- “The people who I care about…I just want them to love me.”
“Yoochun,” Jaejoong sighs. “We all love you, okay? I love you very much.”
“You say that to me every day. I feel like it’s lost its meaning,” Yoochun confesses, and it hurts them both.
Jaejoong feels pain at the words but he knows Yoochun feels more so he just hugs him tighter. “Listen to me, Yoochun. I tell you those words every day because I think you are a person so spectacular and crucial to my life that you deserve to hear them every day. I tell them to you because I don’t know how to contain my overflowing feelings, my admiration for everything you are to me.”
Yoochun holds back sobs. “I’m sorry.”
Jaejoong clicks his tongue. “You have nothing to apologize for.”
“Hyung.”
“Yeah?”
“Love you.”
“What do you need Chun?”
And it’s in the way Yoochun looks up at him with those eyes, those eyes that he usually reserves for his most emotional, tortured scenes in his dramas-those eyes that hold everything in them, all the secrets of the universe (the key to Jaejoong’s heart), that Jaejoong realizes what Yoochun needs.
He just needs an occasional reminder.
So Jaejoong kisses him fully on the lips and leaves no space for emptiness, no space for doubt.
Yoochun runs a thumb across Jaejoong’s soft cheek and cups the side of his face and kisses back. Opens his mouth and lets Jaejoong’s tongue in, tastes him and then catches Jaejoong’s upper lip between his own two and feels, the fullness and the taste and doesn't want to let go, ever.
Jaejoong sighs and Yoochun swallows the air and pulls Jaejoong a bit closer into his chest. He needs to feel him closer, needs Jaejoong to be close and not far, never far away from Yoochun.
“Jae,” Yoochun whimpers, his kisses getting more frantic. He can’t calm down for some reason.
Jaejoong is concerned because Yoochun isn’t usually the needy one but he indulges Yoochun because this is what he needs right now. They get up and trip over each other a bit as they stumble toward the bed and usually at this point Jaejoong is ripping off Yoochun’s shirt but this time Yoochun is the one running the pads of his fingers under the light hem of Jaejoong’s sweater.
They make it to the bed and Jaejoong isn’t too familiar with having Yoochun beneath him but he does his best and tries to give Yoochun what he wants but when Yoochun’s hands shake as he undoes Jaejoong’s belt buckle Jaejoong grasps Yoochun’s hands in his own and looks down at the younger man with worry.
“Chun, slow down,” he urges.
Yoochun’s hands are still shaking and he can’t meet Jaejoong’s worried gaze. Jaejoong grips Yoochun’s chin and forces their eyes to meet. He sees hurt. He sees something he can’t understand. Fear? But that doesn’t make sense.
“Oh, Yoochun,” Jaejoong sighs, and settles down on the bed, lets Yoochun curl into his side. “Baby, please tell me what’s going on.”
Yoochun clings to Jaejoong for long, silent minutes. Jaejoong waits patiently, stroking Yoochun’s arm, his hair, his back. “Yoochun, please?”
Yoochun hides his face in Jaejoong’s shoulder and Jaejoong can’t remember how many years it’s been since Yoochun was like this. Ever since they started living separately Jaejoong was always the one who had breakdowns of loneliness and neediness and Yoochun was always there, with open arms and a lush bed to welcome him and give him those things he needed (affection, so much affection) like oxygen.
Seeing Yoochun like this, it’s like time traveling back seven, eight years when Yoochun was so unsure of everything but hid it with smiles and jokes. Jaejoong was so attracted to that complex boy, so fascinated, so he let Yoochun come to him and cry when he was weak. And somewhere between tear soaked pajama t-shirts and glistening eyes under slivers of moonlight filtering in through rattling windowpanes and pure, unshaken trust that Yoochun put in Jaejoong every time he needed a shoulder to cry on, Jaejoong fell so in love that he forgot his own name. Until Yoochun moaned it into their first kiss and then Jaejoong remembered that yes, that’s my name on his lips, my name in his breath and he is mine.
The thoughts and memories race through Jaejoong’s mind until Yoochun breaks the stillness as he tucks a lock of Jaejoong’s blonde hair behind his ear.
“Don’t leave me.”
“Never, Chun. Not ever.”
“Don’t leave me.”
“I won’t.”
“I love you.”
“Do you want me to say it back?” Jaejoong teases.
Yoochun smiles-really smiles, eyes turning into those beautiful half-moons Jaejoong could never get enough of. “Just show me,” he says, and his voice is louder than a whisper for the first time that night.
Jaejoong rocks into him slow and sweet like a lullaby from seven, eight years ago and the motion of their hips composes a song of trust and the meeting and parting, pulling and pushing of their lips hums a sweet melody. The moonlight filtering into the dark room is the harmony and as expected, together (even through the sweat and tears and all the long, long years) they are perfect.
“Why would I ever leave you?” Jaejoong wonders aloud as he traces patters around Yoochun’s thin hips and kisses his cheek.
“You wouldn’t,” and Yoochun says it as he realizes it, the truth of it, and all the love behind it.
“Never.”
a/n: written in about one hour on a very stressful day. i have a final tomorrow but i can't bring myself to look at one more chemistry related thing right now lol. sorry if there are spelling errors and stuff i just really want to post this and go to bed. i hope you like this. if you do, please leave a comment ♥. (also, are you guys watching the girl who sees smells / sensory couple? it's so good otl i can't get enough).
be my friend! twitter | k-pop tumblr | ask.fm