Am I Anywhere In

[keyacika]

not as I seem but as I am
in the bright complexity of
the expression out and out
in our only for now World
me-ness surrounds me as
atmosphere there I am in it

for instance this very deep
BecomingWoman World I am
always in, in someway, comes
out of me daily and extremely
this exercise of really imagining
myself as a woman in a man’s
world I am then woman always
vulnerable open only the way in
to me now as admitted and only
that I am more and more female
as not only here but half emerged
in that spirit place that knows me
as woman spirit mother spirit
littleturtle spirit moon spirit
wind river mountain spirit
earth spirit owl night woman
Mother Ocean Breaks Time in
Two, more or less, in me too
As a man who becomes this
female creature of sorts over
most of his life until one day
she wakes up knowing she is
after all the smoke clears down
to her core only a woman not a
man anymore even if he had
known the truth he had at least
suspected the truth and turned
away no matter how he danced
he was destined for this road as
he could testify to that today.

this is an enigmatic conundrum
for me difficult on every level of
being expression in and outside
even now in self questioning I am
still all feminine to me my very
small breasts seem so full and
growing and for me I feel as my
style or type, of me as a woman

me as that particular style as that
man was where now or then maybe
never really there with except in
dream a wisp unable to with stand
wave after wave of constant creation

keyacikala