(no subject)
Sometime in the night, Cuthbert starts awake from fitful, uneasy dreams. Beside him, Susan stirs but doesn't wake; he reaches with one hand to stroke her hair, but the motion is a distracted, absent one. He lies there, staring up at the ceiling, trying to collect his thoughts.
What is it that fashes thee so about this? They're no longer your tet-mates, they've done what they had to do, and you've always known that this place was a waystation, always known this could happen--
Not like this, though. Not with this surreal, bad-dream feeling of being stuck in slow motion, yelling for his friends to wait for him as they run on ahead.
He still feels like he could have stopped them from leaving, and he knows could is not should, but surely they could have paused long enough for him to understand what the hell was going on--
You are a gunslinger. It is not required that you be given perfect understanding of a situation, only that you react as well as you can, given what you do know. So why can't you do so for this?
Because Cuthbert and Eddie are twins. Because they didn't get to say goodbye to Roland. Because Eddie gave up being a gunslinger for Susannah, and she was just going to leave. Because ka never stops taking, and he hates it, and there's nothing worse than hating something you can't fight. Because enough is enough.
Because he saw the path to the clearing, and it looked like the way home.
But none of that changes what is. Eddie and Susannah are gone, maybe for good, maybe not. He can't follow them, can't do anything more for them now. His responsibility now is to Susan and Alain, to Bernard and Alanna and the patrons of the bar.
Do what you have to do, and trust Eddie and Susannah to do the same.
Exhaling slowly, he turns on his side, toward Susan. There's nothing more to be done tonight, in any case.
What is it that fashes thee so about this? They're no longer your tet-mates, they've done what they had to do, and you've always known that this place was a waystation, always known this could happen--
Not like this, though. Not with this surreal, bad-dream feeling of being stuck in slow motion, yelling for his friends to wait for him as they run on ahead.
He still feels like he could have stopped them from leaving, and he knows could is not should, but surely they could have paused long enough for him to understand what the hell was going on--
You are a gunslinger. It is not required that you be given perfect understanding of a situation, only that you react as well as you can, given what you do know. So why can't you do so for this?
Because Cuthbert and Eddie are twins. Because they didn't get to say goodbye to Roland. Because Eddie gave up being a gunslinger for Susannah, and she was just going to leave. Because ka never stops taking, and he hates it, and there's nothing worse than hating something you can't fight. Because enough is enough.
Because he saw the path to the clearing, and it looked like the way home.
But none of that changes what is. Eddie and Susannah are gone, maybe for good, maybe not. He can't follow them, can't do anything more for them now. His responsibility now is to Susan and Alain, to Bernard and Alanna and the patrons of the bar.
Do what you have to do, and trust Eddie and Susannah to do the same.
Exhaling slowly, he turns on his side, toward Susan. There's nothing more to be done tonight, in any case.