382TOKYO => AM2009 Miyavi Report
I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for freaking kewliopenguin to post about Anime Matsuri!! So I can steep in it for two hours until I can imagine the smell. o w o
cherielavendre, I’m doing this for you. XD and b/c I don’t feel like I gave a good enough Miyavi report anyway (at least not a good fandom one). I was so tired when I wrote the other one it was just a general account. I’ll dig deeper with this~
Okay, so let’s begin with a disclaimer: I’m not and never, over the course of last weekend, was a pile of mush. I’ve been thinking about this conundrum for a while now. Why the hell am I not a pile of mush!? I didn’t begin to foam at the mouth or lose my mind or any of the usual things that I’d expect out of me. For the LA concert, I felt high for a good two weeks afterwards. At the concert I lost control and didn’t care about life - Miyavi was all that mattered. He was a shining being and my sustaining force. This past weekend though, I got even CLOSER to him. I could have touched him at the Q&A session when he walked down the catwalk (though I’d probably have been thrown out if I did…) - that’s how close I got to him. And at the concert we were practically on the front row, but the hyperventilating never set in. Only once did my heart rate spike (at the Q&A) and even then it wasn’t as high as it was when I was in my room that unsuspecting January day when I scrounged around the interents and found that he’d be coming. Why is this? Am I broken? What the hell is wrong with me!?
I’ve been considering all the events that happened from when I found out until now. I’m positive that they affected me somehow. For one thing, it was just after Oni-con when I found out he was coming to AM. I was still on the con high and obsessing about Dio - BUT WAIT HOLY FUCK MIYAVI IS SO MUCH BETTER!!!! HOW CAN HE BE COMING TO HOUSTON!?!?!?! (that was my reaction). I was stoked, and if AM had of been closer to that day I probably would have had a heart attack during the concert, but as it was… AM was four long months away. The mundane-ness of college life got to me. Made me numb. On top of that… I got a boyfriend! Even now I’m not sure how much this affected my emotions. I wonder if it has curbed my obsession with an unattainable man. XD But, even MORE than that, Miyavi got MARRIED. And is going to be a FATHER. Don’t get me wrong, I’m utterly happy for him. I’ve always been worried about Miyavi’s condition - what with him having a happy outer appearance but then writing things like “alas, I’m crying alone again. But don’t worry! I’ll always sing for you.” I think this marriage will help him with that. But… it’s just like with HYDE (who I love but never to the extent of Miyavi)… it feels WRONG obsessing over a married man. On the one hand I don’t want to break up his happiness, but at the same time you can’t help but want him to be single so you at least can DREAM of having a chance. XD I think that’s why PSC wants their artists to keep their relationships on the DL and most certainly doesn’t want them to marry. It’s wrong, and the artists should have a right to find happiness in romance, but I still UNDERSTAND the thinking behind it.
So all these things contributed in some way to my comparative apathy at his show last Saturday (it already feels so far away). I didn’t lose myself in the music. The moment. Though I wanted it, I couldn’t let it go. (sorry couldn’t help myself w/ that one, fufufu). My mind remained vigilant, concerning itself with my general well-being (the mosh pit was intense) and with moving forward. I kept telling myself that once we got to our glorious position at the front, I could get more into the show, but it never happened. There were too many people vying for my spot. I was too concentrated on using my legs, elbows, and arms to keep them at bay. How do you jump if you can’t even find enough room to stand? How can you rock when people all around are trying to shove you aside? I relished our spot, but at the same time I don’t know if my heart was into it.
Despite all this, I couldn’t help but notice the little things that make Miyavi great. The glint in his perfectly shadowed eye when he came on stage and greeted us. How none of it ran when a few tears escaped and made their way down his faultless features. What a tease he was when he stuck out his tongue and shook his cute little ass. XD Part of me wishes his entrance was a bit more epic like it was in LA when he appeared silhouetted behind a rice paper screen to the first few chords of JPN PRIDE. >w< As it was, his band members just strolled on stage, and he followed in soon after. He chose to play Ippiki Ookami Ron Room382 Remix, but that just sounds odd (or at least not as energy packed) w/out all the electronic beats and voice effects of the recorded version. I think I secretly wanted him to open with Subarashikikana kono sekai. ^o^ Can’t you just envision that? Him busting out on stage with “MAWARU MAWARU SEKAI HA MAWARU!!!”
And in some ways I kinda feel like he wasn’t as energetic as usual. He seemed to be just going through the motions of a concert. It might be because of all he’s going through right now - what with his new company and his marriage announcement. It might’ve been the 15 hour plane ride too. But I do think his LA concert was more meaningful to him. It’s not that he didn’t care because he DID cry a bit at one point, and he did say that he enjoyed the show and would come back (I really hope he does!), but I think I’ve seen him more interactive before. He did film us with his camcorder. I hope it’s for a PV or something b/c that’d be fuckin’ awesome. But even if it’s just for his own viewing pleasure I’m just glad he wanted to remember and document that night.
The words he said were sincere and well thought out. His English is impeccable (though he does have an adorable accent). He said he wanted to share everything with us, not keeping any secrets or holding anything back, so that’s why he formed his company J-glam Inc. The words that stick out most in my mind were his, “oh, really?” that he gave in response to a fan’s, “We love melody too!” The way he said it wasn’t like ORLY? Even though you could tell it was a spontaneous reply, it was still slow, in time with the tune he was strumming on his guitar. I can still see the way he tilted his head, raised his eye-brows, and grinned, “Oh; Really?” The slow renditions of Kimi ni negai wo and Ku.ku.ru that followed were heartfelt. These are the songs where tears fell. And after each stanza of Kimi ni negai wo, just as you were expecting the tempo to pick up like it usually does, he’d pause and continue at the same, slow, breathless pace. As if he were pouring all his feelings into it and saying, “This is the path I’ve chosen. Thank you so much for understanding and supporting me. I love you all, my Ko-Miyavi~” It was definitely a warm-fuzzy to see him so touched.
Other than that, I can remember his parting words. For the encore, where he was wearing the concert shirt, he joked, “No. Really. I’m leaving for Japan right after this.” To which we were all like, “awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.” So he said, “But I’ll be back.” Us: “yeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!” Unfortunately I don’t remember what his closing song was (I’m apparently fail at remembering the set list for any con), but I know he started it out with, “I love you.” >w< He’s always so gracious when he says that, so that you know it’s true. ♥
Looking back on the concert now, I get more emotional then I was then. It’s still hazy in my mind… the fact that he actually came to MY hometown - a dream that was too far off and ridiculous to even be uttered. At the Q&A session he said that of all the places in Houston that he wanted to go, he wanted to see Nasa. My uncle works there, lol. And Miyavi also said, “Right now. While I’m working, the rest of the band are at Nasa.” To which we went, “Awwww! Thanks~~~” At least I know he has another reason to come back! ^o^ I’m truly grateful that he made the trip over, and I’m still amazed that Anime Matsuri convinced him to come. [Oh, random thought, I remember that someone asked him if he liked anime during the Q&A and he went, “Of course. I’m Japanese!” XD But he also said that he read manga more than he watch anime.] The memories that were made on this night, just like the ones made in LA, will stay in my mind. I do somewhat regret my awkward change in emotional state… I really wanted to be lost in obsession, but again… the events leading to this show made my feelings shift I guess… What lies in the future… is yet to be seen! Good luck with all your ambitions Miyavi! I still support you 100%!!!!!!!
(I hope this is more satisfying cherielavendre. I know I feel better~ ^o^)
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also here is a post from melody. about their marriage
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That aside, Precious and I watched a documentary about host clubs tonight. It's called The Great Happiness Space. It was SOOOO interesting. I had no idea there were so many facets to the host business, or that 70-80% of their clients are prostitutes b/c only prostitutes make enough money to actually go to host bars on a regular basis. So basically, the prostitutes get addicted to seeing their host of choice, and instead of saving all the money they make from being a whore and eventually quitting such a horrible job, they use all their money to buy time with the hosts. :/ wtf. but also these girls say that they love and want to marry their host of choice, but at the same time some of them have boyfriends or go to "more host clubs than [they] can count." such distorted and jaded views on love and relationships... it's no wonder the world is so messed up.
but omg those hosts were fiiiinnneee~~~ i decided if i ever actually become a successful filmmaker or something that i'd go over there and blow the money to spend a night with them b/c essentially all they do is give you loads of compliments and make you feel good about yourself, lol.
i recommend this film~~~ so watch it if you're bored one day.
cherielavendre, I’m doing this for you. XD and b/c I don’t feel like I gave a good enough Miyavi report anyway (at least not a good fandom one). I was so tired when I wrote the other one it was just a general account. I’ll dig deeper with this~
Okay, so let’s begin with a disclaimer: I’m not and never, over the course of last weekend, was a pile of mush. I’ve been thinking about this conundrum for a while now. Why the hell am I not a pile of mush!? I didn’t begin to foam at the mouth or lose my mind or any of the usual things that I’d expect out of me. For the LA concert, I felt high for a good two weeks afterwards. At the concert I lost control and didn’t care about life - Miyavi was all that mattered. He was a shining being and my sustaining force. This past weekend though, I got even CLOSER to him. I could have touched him at the Q&A session when he walked down the catwalk (though I’d probably have been thrown out if I did…) - that’s how close I got to him. And at the concert we were practically on the front row, but the hyperventilating never set in. Only once did my heart rate spike (at the Q&A) and even then it wasn’t as high as it was when I was in my room that unsuspecting January day when I scrounged around the interents and found that he’d be coming. Why is this? Am I broken? What the hell is wrong with me!?
I’ve been considering all the events that happened from when I found out until now. I’m positive that they affected me somehow. For one thing, it was just after Oni-con when I found out he was coming to AM. I was still on the con high and obsessing about Dio - BUT WAIT HOLY FUCK MIYAVI IS SO MUCH BETTER!!!! HOW CAN HE BE COMING TO HOUSTON!?!?!?! (that was my reaction). I was stoked, and if AM had of been closer to that day I probably would have had a heart attack during the concert, but as it was… AM was four long months away. The mundane-ness of college life got to me. Made me numb. On top of that… I got a boyfriend! Even now I’m not sure how much this affected my emotions. I wonder if it has curbed my obsession with an unattainable man. XD But, even MORE than that, Miyavi got MARRIED. And is going to be a FATHER. Don’t get me wrong, I’m utterly happy for him. I’ve always been worried about Miyavi’s condition - what with him having a happy outer appearance but then writing things like “alas, I’m crying alone again. But don’t worry! I’ll always sing for you.” I think this marriage will help him with that. But… it’s just like with HYDE (who I love but never to the extent of Miyavi)… it feels WRONG obsessing over a married man. On the one hand I don’t want to break up his happiness, but at the same time you can’t help but want him to be single so you at least can DREAM of having a chance. XD I think that’s why PSC wants their artists to keep their relationships on the DL and most certainly doesn’t want them to marry. It’s wrong, and the artists should have a right to find happiness in romance, but I still UNDERSTAND the thinking behind it.
So all these things contributed in some way to my comparative apathy at his show last Saturday (it already feels so far away). I didn’t lose myself in the music. The moment. Though I wanted it, I couldn’t let it go. (sorry couldn’t help myself w/ that one, fufufu). My mind remained vigilant, concerning itself with my general well-being (the mosh pit was intense) and with moving forward. I kept telling myself that once we got to our glorious position at the front, I could get more into the show, but it never happened. There were too many people vying for my spot. I was too concentrated on using my legs, elbows, and arms to keep them at bay. How do you jump if you can’t even find enough room to stand? How can you rock when people all around are trying to shove you aside? I relished our spot, but at the same time I don’t know if my heart was into it.
Despite all this, I couldn’t help but notice the little things that make Miyavi great. The glint in his perfectly shadowed eye when he came on stage and greeted us. How none of it ran when a few tears escaped and made their way down his faultless features. What a tease he was when he stuck out his tongue and shook his cute little ass. XD Part of me wishes his entrance was a bit more epic like it was in LA when he appeared silhouetted behind a rice paper screen to the first few chords of JPN PRIDE. >w< As it was, his band members just strolled on stage, and he followed in soon after. He chose to play Ippiki Ookami Ron Room382 Remix, but that just sounds odd (or at least not as energy packed) w/out all the electronic beats and voice effects of the recorded version. I think I secretly wanted him to open with Subarashikikana kono sekai. ^o^ Can’t you just envision that? Him busting out on stage with “MAWARU MAWARU SEKAI HA MAWARU!!!”
And in some ways I kinda feel like he wasn’t as energetic as usual. He seemed to be just going through the motions of a concert. It might be because of all he’s going through right now - what with his new company and his marriage announcement. It might’ve been the 15 hour plane ride too. But I do think his LA concert was more meaningful to him. It’s not that he didn’t care because he DID cry a bit at one point, and he did say that he enjoyed the show and would come back (I really hope he does!), but I think I’ve seen him more interactive before. He did film us with his camcorder. I hope it’s for a PV or something b/c that’d be fuckin’ awesome. But even if it’s just for his own viewing pleasure I’m just glad he wanted to remember and document that night.
The words he said were sincere and well thought out. His English is impeccable (though he does have an adorable accent). He said he wanted to share everything with us, not keeping any secrets or holding anything back, so that’s why he formed his company J-glam Inc. The words that stick out most in my mind were his, “oh, really?” that he gave in response to a fan’s, “We love melody too!” The way he said it wasn’t like ORLY? Even though you could tell it was a spontaneous reply, it was still slow, in time with the tune he was strumming on his guitar. I can still see the way he tilted his head, raised his eye-brows, and grinned, “Oh; Really?” The slow renditions of Kimi ni negai wo and Ku.ku.ru that followed were heartfelt. These are the songs where tears fell. And after each stanza of Kimi ni negai wo, just as you were expecting the tempo to pick up like it usually does, he’d pause and continue at the same, slow, breathless pace. As if he were pouring all his feelings into it and saying, “This is the path I’ve chosen. Thank you so much for understanding and supporting me. I love you all, my Ko-Miyavi~” It was definitely a warm-fuzzy to see him so touched.
Other than that, I can remember his parting words. For the encore, where he was wearing the concert shirt, he joked, “No. Really. I’m leaving for Japan right after this.” To which we were all like, “awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.” So he said, “But I’ll be back.” Us: “yeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!” Unfortunately I don’t remember what his closing song was (I’m apparently fail at remembering the set list for any con), but I know he started it out with, “I love you.” >w< He’s always so gracious when he says that, so that you know it’s true. ♥
Looking back on the concert now, I get more emotional then I was then. It’s still hazy in my mind… the fact that he actually came to MY hometown - a dream that was too far off and ridiculous to even be uttered. At the Q&A session he said that of all the places in Houston that he wanted to go, he wanted to see Nasa. My uncle works there, lol. And Miyavi also said, “Right now. While I’m working, the rest of the band are at Nasa.” To which we went, “Awwww! Thanks~~~” At least I know he has another reason to come back! ^o^ I’m truly grateful that he made the trip over, and I’m still amazed that Anime Matsuri convinced him to come. [Oh, random thought, I remember that someone asked him if he liked anime during the Q&A and he went, “Of course. I’m Japanese!” XD But he also said that he read manga more than he watch anime.] The memories that were made on this night, just like the ones made in LA, will stay in my mind. I do somewhat regret my awkward change in emotional state… I really wanted to be lost in obsession, but again… the events leading to this show made my feelings shift I guess… What lies in the future… is yet to be seen! Good luck with all your ambitions Miyavi! I still support you 100%!!!!!!!
(I hope this is more satisfying cherielavendre. I know I feel better~ ^o^)
---------------------------------------------------
also here is a post from melody. about their marriage
---------------------------------------------------
That aside, Precious and I watched a documentary about host clubs tonight. It's called The Great Happiness Space. It was SOOOO interesting. I had no idea there were so many facets to the host business, or that 70-80% of their clients are prostitutes b/c only prostitutes make enough money to actually go to host bars on a regular basis. So basically, the prostitutes get addicted to seeing their host of choice, and instead of saving all the money they make from being a whore and eventually quitting such a horrible job, they use all their money to buy time with the hosts. :/ wtf. but also these girls say that they love and want to marry their host of choice, but at the same time some of them have boyfriends or go to "more host clubs than [they] can count." such distorted and jaded views on love and relationships... it's no wonder the world is so messed up.
but omg those hosts were fiiiinnneee~~~ i decided if i ever actually become a successful filmmaker or something that i'd go over there and blow the money to spend a night with them b/c essentially all they do is give you loads of compliments and make you feel good about yourself, lol.
i recommend this film~~~ so watch it if you're bored one day.