Blah
Damn I haven't updated this thing in ages, mainly because A: too busy B: forgot bout it C: all the above and then some forgetfulness too. For those who do know me you know ive been in a relationship with the same guy for almost 4 years now, Ive tried and tried to make a go of it, but I guess Im too much of an asshole to be with anyone so i am destined to die a lonely old man, at least Eric likes old men :p .
I have a problem with lying people. I always have, I am never at peace unless there is something like a confrontation going on or something for me to worry or bitch about :\
Its a major problem I have had forever, and now the damn thing is taking its toll on me. Ive been so depressed at the fact me and my other half never get along, I cant say anything to him with him taking offense and getting mad at me. He loves me I know that but I am so scared that we just cant get along anymore. He left me last October *see previous entry* and it just bout killed me.
Fortunately we was able to get something going again after I took 2 months of anger managment classes, you see I have a bad temper.
I dont hit him or anything like that, I tend to storm out of the room when I get upset. Ive have tried to work these issues out with myself and again I fail over and over.
Now we are in seperate bedrooms and the pressure seems to be off us both for the good, he complains he misses me....I miss him too and we do spend time watching TV together and stuff like that.
I get into a bad mood when stuff worries me like money, I never have any left after bills, grocery etc and that doesnt bother me, what bothers me is the fact I feel like a fucking failure.
When he ignores me when I go into his room it kills me and I feel like blowing my head off...even though I deserve it most of the time.
I used to be so scared he would find someone else, someone better, Now I am scared to death of what will happen if he doesnt :(
I have a problem with lying people. I always have, I am never at peace unless there is something like a confrontation going on or something for me to worry or bitch about :\
Its a major problem I have had forever, and now the damn thing is taking its toll on me. Ive been so depressed at the fact me and my other half never get along, I cant say anything to him with him taking offense and getting mad at me. He loves me I know that but I am so scared that we just cant get along anymore. He left me last October *see previous entry* and it just bout killed me.
Fortunately we was able to get something going again after I took 2 months of anger managment classes, you see I have a bad temper.
I dont hit him or anything like that, I tend to storm out of the room when I get upset. Ive have tried to work these issues out with myself and again I fail over and over.
Now we are in seperate bedrooms and the pressure seems to be off us both for the good, he complains he misses me....I miss him too and we do spend time watching TV together and stuff like that.
I get into a bad mood when stuff worries me like money, I never have any left after bills, grocery etc and that doesnt bother me, what bothers me is the fact I feel like a fucking failure.
When he ignores me when I go into his room it kills me and I feel like blowing my head off...even though I deserve it most of the time.
I used to be so scared he would find someone else, someone better, Now I am scared to death of what will happen if he doesnt :(