*BIG SIGH* kill whitey
don't read the cut unless depressing bull shit is what your in the mood for right now:
i am very sad right now...
i knew i was making a mistake last semester. i knew...
i shouldn't have signed up for those classes!
now, i can't go back in the fall...
i need a job. something that pays well.
i need a driver's license.
i need a new life :(
i have to wait three years to get back into school. or take correspondence courses that won't count towards my degree. but those 6 hours of correspondence courses would cost $600-1200! and i'd still have to work for rent and food. i'm trying not to sit here and fucking cry in the comp lab but its kind of hard. I'm fucked!
*sigh*
maybe i'll spend spring break with dad
take my C-class driver's license test.
study for the B class, maybe even for A-class.
Dad could help me with a concrete truck to take my B-class test in
Once i pass all of the written tests and know how to do all the driving bullshit,
i can get a prospective employer to help me test for my A-class
I'll go ahead and pass my HAZMAT test and everything.
then, the next chapter of my life, fuel tank driver.
If you know the right people you can get a job at the airport driving a tanker for jet fuel. they make well over $100,000/year. i could do that, yeah?
i fucking hate this plan. i wanna be a professional gambler.
but, with the proceeds from driving trucks, i could build my systems trading. i could have my own system. who knows? by this time next year i could have a nice nest egg mutiplying for me every few months(weeks if i'm good.) i could become a man of leisure. have enough money, that by this time next year, i'll be taking those fucking useless correspondence courses. And, going to secound semester of secound year sanskrit. And, making something of my life. I've spent too long being depressed over katie. too much time smoking pot and feeling sorry for my self. let's face it, all the depression stuff came before the pot, maybe the drug amplified it, but still. i feel so bad.
if only i'd waited until this fall, and not last fall.
if only i'd made decisions that make sense.
if only i weren't me :(
enough feeling sorry for myself. things are good. i study sanskrit. i even wrote a poem, well began writing a poem:
hana hana hanata
sarvaCvetalokeSuCvetajanAn hana
roughly translated:
you(singular) kill you(singular) kill you(plural) kill
-or-
kill kill kill
kill the white people in all of the white world
i really meant with this line:
kill all of the whitepeople in all of the white world
but that would have been:
sarvaCvetalokeSusarvaCvetajanAn hana
it can alternatively be translated:
kill the white people ALL of the white people
which i like, therefore:
hana hana hanata
sarvaCvetalokeSuCvetajanAn hana
kill kill kill
kill the white people ALL of the white people
i am very sad right now...
i knew i was making a mistake last semester. i knew...
i shouldn't have signed up for those classes!
now, i can't go back in the fall...
i need a job. something that pays well.
i need a driver's license.
i need a new life :(
i have to wait three years to get back into school. or take correspondence courses that won't count towards my degree. but those 6 hours of correspondence courses would cost $600-1200! and i'd still have to work for rent and food. i'm trying not to sit here and fucking cry in the comp lab but its kind of hard. I'm fucked!
*sigh*
maybe i'll spend spring break with dad
take my C-class driver's license test.
study for the B class, maybe even for A-class.
Dad could help me with a concrete truck to take my B-class test in
Once i pass all of the written tests and know how to do all the driving bullshit,
i can get a prospective employer to help me test for my A-class
I'll go ahead and pass my HAZMAT test and everything.
then, the next chapter of my life, fuel tank driver.
If you know the right people you can get a job at the airport driving a tanker for jet fuel. they make well over $100,000/year. i could do that, yeah?
i fucking hate this plan. i wanna be a professional gambler.
but, with the proceeds from driving trucks, i could build my systems trading. i could have my own system. who knows? by this time next year i could have a nice nest egg mutiplying for me every few months(weeks if i'm good.) i could become a man of leisure. have enough money, that by this time next year, i'll be taking those fucking useless correspondence courses. And, going to secound semester of secound year sanskrit. And, making something of my life. I've spent too long being depressed over katie. too much time smoking pot and feeling sorry for my self. let's face it, all the depression stuff came before the pot, maybe the drug amplified it, but still. i feel so bad.
if only i'd waited until this fall, and not last fall.
if only i'd made decisions that make sense.
if only i weren't me :(
enough feeling sorry for myself. things are good. i study sanskrit. i even wrote a poem, well began writing a poem:
hana hana hanata
sarvaCvetalokeSuCvetajanAn hana
roughly translated:
you(singular) kill you(singular) kill you(plural) kill
-or-
kill kill kill
kill the white people in all of the white world
i really meant with this line:
kill all of the whitepeople in all of the white world
but that would have been:
sarvaCvetalokeSusarvaCvetajanAn hana
it can alternatively be translated:
kill the white people ALL of the white people
which i like, therefore:
hana hana hanata
sarvaCvetalokeSuCvetajanAn hana
kill kill kill
kill the white people ALL of the white people