night of confessions
he got the call at 3 am and this time she sounded like someone else. she had never called him in the middle of the night for something like this. she sounded worried and scared, and the words kept playing in his ears, "i dont mean to wake you like this but you have always been there for me and i need you now. i couldnt sleep and i need to talk to you. would you please meet me under the street lamp on the corner first and main?"
he jumped out of bed the second they hung up. now here he was acting like an insane person out driving the streets at 3 in the morning. he didnt mind though, he knew she would gladly do the same any night for him. as he turned the corner the drizzling began to thicken into a rain and he put his wippers on. a few more blocks and then he would be there. he wondered what in the world this could be about...
***
she had been awake for hours, laying in bed thinking. she never seemed to sleep with thoughts of him on her mind and tonight was no different. she reached over and turned on the light and looked at the clock; 2:30 in the morning. how long did she have to hide these feelings from him? she hated the feelings she got everyday when she saw him at school. why couldnt he realize the impact of his smile in the hallway, his hello at lunch and the way he selflessly gave up his seat in math so she could see the board? she wanted nothing more than to tell him, to let him know the depth of her desires, the patience she had for his own ignorance, and the reason she acted the way she did, as if she loved him.
he didnt read into anything as far as she could tell. he couldnt see the way she wanted to reach out and touch him every time he mesmorized her with his eyes or smile. everytime she played with his hair, or drooled over his voice on the phone, or the flirtatious blinks she would throw at him every time they flirted, all of it went unnoticed as far as she could see. he was her closest guy friend and that seemed to be all he wanted to be for her: a friend. she didnt want to ruin that for him, she didnt want to complicate his life, or transform his emotions artificially. she just simply couldn't tell him, it wasn't in their best interest, it just wouldn't be what he wanted right now. Or was she just making excuses?
she couldnt bear it any longer. she had to tell him. she couldnt go on being a coward and holding in these feelings for him. "NOW" was all she could think. what time was it again? about 3 oclock. this couldnt wait, while she had the rare courage she picked up the phone. after two rings he picked up and she heard his tired voice on the other line. she fumbled through her thoughts trying to find the words to say what she wanted to. she settled with whispering, "i dont mean to wake you like this but you have always been there for me and i need you now. i couldnt sleep and i need to talk to you. would you please meet me under the street lamp on the corner first and main?"
he agreed. something more to love about him. she braced herself and headed out the door into the quiet night looking up thinking it seemed it was about to rain. it was warm so she didnt bring anything but a flashlight, briskly paced walking down the streets to their meeting place a few blocks over.
***
he pulled into the parking spot across from the lamppost looking out the window waiting to see her. he really wished she wouldnt walk outside like this on her own. he had offered to meet her at her house but she insisted. he cared about her and would never forgive himself if something were to happen to her. but did he care for her as something more than a friend? these things had been haunting his minds for months now and although it was always the same question, he couldnt kid himself of the answer. he not only cared for her as more that a friend, he felt nothing but love for the girl. nights like this where she wanted to meet him meant nothing but a playful game or a secret randevous to her but to him it meant the world. everytime she laughed, or she bit her lip, or she scanned line after line in books with her gorgeous eyes, he shivered. she was his only weakness, but a weakness like this he didnt mind.
he wanted to ask her out on a date or dare he dream, to be his girlfriend, but he doubted the feelings were mutual. plus she had so much going for her, grades were high, she was in clubs like crazy, and her parents drempt of big plans after high school. a small town boy like him wouldnt match up to any princeton guy she might have her eyes set on. maybe now would be a good time to tell her, maybe he could just let her know he wants her and let her make the choice. he scanned the road trying to see between all the raindrops.
he saw her come up under the light. she looked so cute with her hair wet like that, but when he looked hard enough it seemed like she had been crying. he threw open the car door and ran to meet her.
***
he ran up to her beneath the streetlamp, the rain pouring down on both of them. she had indeed been crying, and he wondered if her angelic tears were the cause of the rain tonight. she saw the look of concern in this face
and that made the tears stop, she had to compose herself. this was a serious matter and she couldnt tell him while she looked like she had been crying. desperately she looked around for a place or shelter from the rain. him watching her gaze pointed to his car shouting, "we can go sit in my car, ive got blankets in there and we can sit in the back. lets get you dry and out of this summer rain."she nodded and he lead her to his car.
finally after drying off a little and wiping her eyes she tried to refind the courage she had to tell him what she came here to. he looked at her, maybe it was her own perception, but this time his gaze was more like a stare. like his eyes were drawn to her and he couldnt stop looking at her. "if she only knew how beautiful she looks. i have to hold back everything i have to keep me from wrapping my arms around her and kissing her forehead," he thought. "so why is it that i just HAD to come and meet you at 3:30 in the morning, that absolutely could NOT wait until tomorrow?" he joked. she didnt laugh and so he went serious, "sorry im being insensitive. why are we here?"
she took a deep breath, "well," she began,"i have something to tell you." "go on...," he coaxed with curiousity.
"please don't interupt me though, it is taking alot for me right now and i would appreciate it." she asked politely. "sure, " he agreed,"anything for you."
she smiled and then taking another deep breath began,"this year when i met you you have been my absolute best friend." she looked at him waiting for him to interupt, but he obeyed with silent reverance and she continued.
"see, although you have been my friend i have always wanted you to be more. night after night i have laid awake trying to decide if i should tell you. tonight has been one of those nights, but my choice tonight will be yours to make. i love you. there i said it, and i mean it. i meant it everytime i called you to talk, everytime we took a walk in the woods, everytime i shared my lunch, everytime... i smiled at you. ive said it to you more times than you will ever know. and each time i wanted to shout it at the top of my lungs, reach out and touch you, and give you my heart. i dont mean to be throwing all this on you i just want you to know how i feel.i want you to make the choice, i dont want to ask you to be anything more than a friend. its up to you of course. but let me say this: you may not want me now, you may not want me ever, but this i promise...we will continue to meet like this everynight in my dreams and if you dont say yes here you will in my dreams. at least there i can let us be in love, if you choose for us to be nothing more than friends."
there was along silence and then she hid her face fearing rejection, this is why she hadnt done it before, she knew he wouldnt love her back...
but then he spoke softly carressing her face and slipping his arms over her shivering sholders.
"i love you too," he whispered, "but you must know i cant offer you anything more than that: my love. i cant give you the things you want if you are with me. i know you have such high plans and dreams. colleges fighting over you, talents dripping off you, and i might ruin your chances at greatness. and if you chose those things, all those things YOU deserve i understand. i wont hold you back. i will wait for you if you want to live you dreams then come back to me and i'll drop whatever i have and build a life with you. or if you find bigger and better things out there than whats in this car then i'll just move on and try to find the one i love second best. my choice was made long ago, i want you too, but i want you to have everything you want. so what is it you want?"
she snuggled in deeper in his arms and looked up into his face. "I want nothing more than your love, and the only greatness i ever want to know is being loved by you. you have no idea what it took for me to come tonight and for me to hear those words has made this the happiest night of my life. i love you." the words bouced off her tongue and filled the car with exictement.
they both had finished their confessions. at this point it was 4 in the morning. they sat there in his car talking until dawn recalling moments so powerful they thought the feelings might have been just them. the relief of that confession made thier love sprout almost immediately and it continuted on for years. greatness was shown to the girl and love to them both as the years ticked by through college and graduation. that night in the rain was the beginning of something wonderful, and as far as this story is concerned wonderful things don't ever end. so as to say for our couple? they're still together as fate would have it, their love blosoming deeper with each passing day. both true to the words "i love you and ive said it to you more times than you will ever know. "
****for all you other helpless romantics this was a dream i had the night of my fifthteenth birthday. thought i would share so you all can go "Aaaawwwww...!!!" which is what i did when i woke up...
well okay its about 11 at night and i better go to sleep if im going to meet him at 3 at the corner or first and main... wait what?!?! :) just kidding
he jumped out of bed the second they hung up. now here he was acting like an insane person out driving the streets at 3 in the morning. he didnt mind though, he knew she would gladly do the same any night for him. as he turned the corner the drizzling began to thicken into a rain and he put his wippers on. a few more blocks and then he would be there. he wondered what in the world this could be about...
***
she had been awake for hours, laying in bed thinking. she never seemed to sleep with thoughts of him on her mind and tonight was no different. she reached over and turned on the light and looked at the clock; 2:30 in the morning. how long did she have to hide these feelings from him? she hated the feelings she got everyday when she saw him at school. why couldnt he realize the impact of his smile in the hallway, his hello at lunch and the way he selflessly gave up his seat in math so she could see the board? she wanted nothing more than to tell him, to let him know the depth of her desires, the patience she had for his own ignorance, and the reason she acted the way she did, as if she loved him.
he didnt read into anything as far as she could tell. he couldnt see the way she wanted to reach out and touch him every time he mesmorized her with his eyes or smile. everytime she played with his hair, or drooled over his voice on the phone, or the flirtatious blinks she would throw at him every time they flirted, all of it went unnoticed as far as she could see. he was her closest guy friend and that seemed to be all he wanted to be for her: a friend. she didnt want to ruin that for him, she didnt want to complicate his life, or transform his emotions artificially. she just simply couldn't tell him, it wasn't in their best interest, it just wouldn't be what he wanted right now. Or was she just making excuses?
she couldnt bear it any longer. she had to tell him. she couldnt go on being a coward and holding in these feelings for him. "NOW" was all she could think. what time was it again? about 3 oclock. this couldnt wait, while she had the rare courage she picked up the phone. after two rings he picked up and she heard his tired voice on the other line. she fumbled through her thoughts trying to find the words to say what she wanted to. she settled with whispering, "i dont mean to wake you like this but you have always been there for me and i need you now. i couldnt sleep and i need to talk to you. would you please meet me under the street lamp on the corner first and main?"
he agreed. something more to love about him. she braced herself and headed out the door into the quiet night looking up thinking it seemed it was about to rain. it was warm so she didnt bring anything but a flashlight, briskly paced walking down the streets to their meeting place a few blocks over.
***
he pulled into the parking spot across from the lamppost looking out the window waiting to see her. he really wished she wouldnt walk outside like this on her own. he had offered to meet her at her house but she insisted. he cared about her and would never forgive himself if something were to happen to her. but did he care for her as something more than a friend? these things had been haunting his minds for months now and although it was always the same question, he couldnt kid himself of the answer. he not only cared for her as more that a friend, he felt nothing but love for the girl. nights like this where she wanted to meet him meant nothing but a playful game or a secret randevous to her but to him it meant the world. everytime she laughed, or she bit her lip, or she scanned line after line in books with her gorgeous eyes, he shivered. she was his only weakness, but a weakness like this he didnt mind.
he wanted to ask her out on a date or dare he dream, to be his girlfriend, but he doubted the feelings were mutual. plus she had so much going for her, grades were high, she was in clubs like crazy, and her parents drempt of big plans after high school. a small town boy like him wouldnt match up to any princeton guy she might have her eyes set on. maybe now would be a good time to tell her, maybe he could just let her know he wants her and let her make the choice. he scanned the road trying to see between all the raindrops.
he saw her come up under the light. she looked so cute with her hair wet like that, but when he looked hard enough it seemed like she had been crying. he threw open the car door and ran to meet her.
***
he ran up to her beneath the streetlamp, the rain pouring down on both of them. she had indeed been crying, and he wondered if her angelic tears were the cause of the rain tonight. she saw the look of concern in this face
and that made the tears stop, she had to compose herself. this was a serious matter and she couldnt tell him while she looked like she had been crying. desperately she looked around for a place or shelter from the rain. him watching her gaze pointed to his car shouting, "we can go sit in my car, ive got blankets in there and we can sit in the back. lets get you dry and out of this summer rain."she nodded and he lead her to his car.
finally after drying off a little and wiping her eyes she tried to refind the courage she had to tell him what she came here to. he looked at her, maybe it was her own perception, but this time his gaze was more like a stare. like his eyes were drawn to her and he couldnt stop looking at her. "if she only knew how beautiful she looks. i have to hold back everything i have to keep me from wrapping my arms around her and kissing her forehead," he thought. "so why is it that i just HAD to come and meet you at 3:30 in the morning, that absolutely could NOT wait until tomorrow?" he joked. she didnt laugh and so he went serious, "sorry im being insensitive. why are we here?"
she took a deep breath, "well," she began,"i have something to tell you." "go on...," he coaxed with curiousity.
"please don't interupt me though, it is taking alot for me right now and i would appreciate it." she asked politely. "sure, " he agreed,"anything for you."
she smiled and then taking another deep breath began,"this year when i met you you have been my absolute best friend." she looked at him waiting for him to interupt, but he obeyed with silent reverance and she continued.
"see, although you have been my friend i have always wanted you to be more. night after night i have laid awake trying to decide if i should tell you. tonight has been one of those nights, but my choice tonight will be yours to make. i love you. there i said it, and i mean it. i meant it everytime i called you to talk, everytime we took a walk in the woods, everytime i shared my lunch, everytime... i smiled at you. ive said it to you more times than you will ever know. and each time i wanted to shout it at the top of my lungs, reach out and touch you, and give you my heart. i dont mean to be throwing all this on you i just want you to know how i feel.i want you to make the choice, i dont want to ask you to be anything more than a friend. its up to you of course. but let me say this: you may not want me now, you may not want me ever, but this i promise...we will continue to meet like this everynight in my dreams and if you dont say yes here you will in my dreams. at least there i can let us be in love, if you choose for us to be nothing more than friends."
there was along silence and then she hid her face fearing rejection, this is why she hadnt done it before, she knew he wouldnt love her back...
but then he spoke softly carressing her face and slipping his arms over her shivering sholders.
"i love you too," he whispered, "but you must know i cant offer you anything more than that: my love. i cant give you the things you want if you are with me. i know you have such high plans and dreams. colleges fighting over you, talents dripping off you, and i might ruin your chances at greatness. and if you chose those things, all those things YOU deserve i understand. i wont hold you back. i will wait for you if you want to live you dreams then come back to me and i'll drop whatever i have and build a life with you. or if you find bigger and better things out there than whats in this car then i'll just move on and try to find the one i love second best. my choice was made long ago, i want you too, but i want you to have everything you want. so what is it you want?"
she snuggled in deeper in his arms and looked up into his face. "I want nothing more than your love, and the only greatness i ever want to know is being loved by you. you have no idea what it took for me to come tonight and for me to hear those words has made this the happiest night of my life. i love you." the words bouced off her tongue and filled the car with exictement.
they both had finished their confessions. at this point it was 4 in the morning. they sat there in his car talking until dawn recalling moments so powerful they thought the feelings might have been just them. the relief of that confession made thier love sprout almost immediately and it continuted on for years. greatness was shown to the girl and love to them both as the years ticked by through college and graduation. that night in the rain was the beginning of something wonderful, and as far as this story is concerned wonderful things don't ever end. so as to say for our couple? they're still together as fate would have it, their love blosoming deeper with each passing day. both true to the words "i love you and ive said it to you more times than you will ever know. "
****for all you other helpless romantics this was a dream i had the night of my fifthteenth birthday. thought i would share so you all can go "Aaaawwwww...!!!" which is what i did when i woke up...
well okay its about 11 at night and i better go to sleep if im going to meet him at 3 at the corner or first and main... wait what?!?! :) just kidding