(no subject)
The more time that passes... the more hollow I feel, the more dead I feel. I live day to day not really looking forward to or for anything. I get up and do things that I need to for school. I do things needed for my body to go on living. And in the small hours of the morning I enter a world of absolute nothingness. Sleep is the only way I can escape things. It's the only place where I don't think or feel anything. I don't really dream anymore, but I dream more than I used to. I'm glad that I don't... I don't want to know what I would dream about with the way things have been going. Though, I wish I could dream still. It makes me feel less artistic, less creative, ... less human to not exist when I sleep. I hate trying to go to sleep. That's when the thoughts I tried not to think about surface. My mom woke me up with some bad news this morning, though I managed to go back to sleep and only now while I type this does it surface in my thoughts. I'm not really sure how I feel about the news because I haven't thought about it... my only feelings right now is that it's an inevability that can't be avoided. Coming from me that's increadibly cold hearted. I've had such a sheltered life in so many aspects that I feel like shit as I look around at my friends, people that I know, and people I know of as they sufer things I've never dealt with.
I grow tired of this... as I grow tired.
I grow tired of this... as I grow tired.