1Now the tax collectors and sinners were all gathering around to hear him. 2But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, This man welcomes sinners and eats with them
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christmas
anonymous
December 20 2004, 05:56:02 UTC
hi kevin. this is kind of strange to leave you a post in your journal, but oh well. I am a female high school senior. I think you'd recognize my face, but that isn't important. My first year of high school, I was so strong in my faith, and I was so happy. i was known for being a strong, happy, positive person. Now, I am only known for being depressed, cold, negative, atheist, and dark. I am also known for all of my bad decisions, my substance abuse, and my corrupted way of life. I've been through so much over the past few years, and I've lost my faith and all of my former friends. It seems like no one wants to stand by me sometimes. Even when I tried in the past to talk to people about my faith, and my personal struggles, I felt ignored. I don't feel like anyone loves me... I'm so hurt and I don't know how to recover. I'm just very burdened. I don't believe in God anymore. But I want to be happy... and I feel so alone... especially at this time of year.
Re: christmasjehovah_nissiDecember 20 2004, 06:52:36 UTC
I don't have much advice and what I could say you probably already know, but what I will do is pray for you.
" God I ask that this season of Christmas would not be one of remembering what you did 2000 years ago, but one where we celebrate what you are doing today. I pray that you would be a friend to the hurting, to this girl, your daughter. That you would wrap her up in your arms even now and be a father to her. Not just a father, but a daddy. Remind her about of what real love is. Place people around her who will do nothing but show that love. Friends that would not condem, but that would encourage and lift her up. We know of your heart for your children; would you make this Christmas about the gift of interuping her life. Captivate her. In Jesus' name we lift this up to you"
I'm sorry you feel alone. I promise you that you really aren't. Though I'm not sure who you are, I can promise you that I have prayed for you and many like you who feel lost and forgotten. You haven't lost your faith because something inside you is still reaching out. God knows exactly who you are and I'm praying that this week you will share your heart and doubts with someone who will listen and hear you from the depths of their spirit. I'm hear and I'm listening. You are not alone. Reach out. Much love...... rz
Re: christmaskevinqueenDecember 24 2004, 22:39:07 UTC
it is christmas eve and this day invokes a certain kind of feeling. the day that is set apart because of the day it comes before. everyone knows that that christmas is coming and we celebrate on this day because of tomorrow.
in life it is difficult to celebrate the tomorrows, especially when we wrestle with the decisions of yesterdays. in your post i read regret, disapointment, uncertainty, and guilt. it may seem like you are on your back, down for the count, being on your back has a certain way of causing you to look up. you may say that you have quit believing in God, but he has never stopped believing in you.
email me if you want to dialogue further - kevin.queen@crossroadsconnect.com
Re: christmasfollowjesusDecember 31 2004, 11:51:41 UTC
I know this is a way late reply, but I was surfing through some ljs and read your response to kq's. I kept on moving on but the screaming inside me wouldn't stop. I had to come back. You've captured my heart, God has arrested my heart for you. You have to know this - take it from someone who knows - God is the God of second chances, third, fourth, and fifth. He knows all, forgives all and forgets all. He uses ALL of our past choices and mistakes. He has plans for you, again, take it from someone who's been there, done that, that are so powerful and unique that others can't fill. He tears your heart apart because He knows what you were made to be. That time when you were strong in the faith, you were living that Holy Spirit life. That life is still inside you screaming to come out, that's what makes you so uncomfortable in your own skin now. This is a beautiful and miraculous thing that God's passionately pursuing you. See it. Prodigals who wallow with the pigs are welcomed back with open arms, given a royal robe and a feast. I know.
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" God I ask that this season of Christmas would not be one of remembering what you did 2000 years ago, but one where we celebrate what you are doing today. I pray that you would be a friend to the hurting, to this girl, your daughter. That you would wrap her up in your arms even now and be a father to her. Not just a father, but a daddy. Remind her about of what real love is. Place people around her who will do nothing but show that love. Friends that would not condem, but that would encourage and lift her up. We know of your heart for your children; would you make this Christmas about the gift of interuping her life. Captivate her. In Jesus' name we lift this up to you"
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I'm hear and I'm listening. You are not alone.
Reach out.
Much love......
rz
Reply
in life it is difficult to celebrate the tomorrows, especially when we wrestle with the decisions of yesterdays. in your post i read regret, disapointment, uncertainty, and guilt. it may seem like you are on your back, down for the count, being on your back has a certain way of causing you to look up. you may say that you have quit believing in God, but he has never stopped believing in you.
email me if you want to dialogue further - kevin.queen@crossroadsconnect.com
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