Stolen from Mors_rattus and canemex
And now, from the state the others love to hate...
BOLD entries denote things I can do/ do regularly.
* denote things I've seen but haven't done myself.
1. You can properly pronounce Ouachita.
Wa-shi-ta. Then again I hear natives pronounce it 'Oo-wa' instead.
2. You think people who complain about the heat in their states are sissies.
-I'd love to think this, but I wilt under 80 degree weather. Admittedly, it's freaking 100 right now.
3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel. *
- I didn't do this, but I know a lot of people who did.
4. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by
the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.
5. Stores don’t have bags, they have sacks.
- Paper or plastic sacks. Though we use 'bags' for their... other meaning.
6. You’ve seen people wear bib overalls at funerals.
7. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
- Naw, Little Rockians don't have an accent.
8. You measure distance in minutes.
- Yep. If I and other people knew metric this may not be the case.
9. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.
- Yep. Even has the metric craptons of sand, white fish-eating birds, and tourists wearing far too little and wanting more space than they need. Plus my parents loved the ocean and wanted to live there.
10. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit. *
- This technically doesn't apply, but if I /did/ listen to the weather forecast I totally would pick my outfit afterwards.
11. You know cow pies are not made of beef.
- They'd be much better if they were, though.
12. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date. *
- Not true, the one couple I knew who used outside influences used a Basketball schedule.
13. You have known someone who has a belt buckle bigger than your fist.
14. You aren’t surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, beer, and bait all in the same store.
- Pawn shops. Yes, some pawn shops rent around here.
15. You know that a Mercedes Benz isn’t a status symbol here - A Red Ford, F-250, Crew Cab, with Dual Wheels and Four Wheel Drive is. *
- While I don't drive one, I can at least understand what all those terms for the truck mean. I have no idea what Mercedes Benz is, other than a vehicle.
16. You know everything goes better with ‘Ranch’.
- I'm more of a Blue Cheese fan. Blue Cheese goes with /everything/ that isn't primarily made of sugar.
17. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.
18. If you know who Slick Willy is and how he achieved his name.
- I don't care what the rest of the country says, Bill Clinton was awesome.
19. If you have ever had this conversation: “You wanna Coke?” “Yeah.” ”What kind?” “Dr Pepper.”
- Way too often.
20. You know that “Whooooo Pig! Sooie!” is Calling the Hogs!
- Except for the incidents regarding Houston Nutt and Stan Heath, I do still enjoy my Razorback Basketball. In fact, I am often stunned when out-of-staters come in and wonder what the hell that noise is, considering how crazy our state is for (American) football.
21. You know where Fannie Fox Freeway is and how it was so named.
22. If you know what “Black Ice” is. (patches of ice on highway)
- I had an incident last Christmas when I more or less had to drive halfway to my grandmother's on this stuff. One of the few instances where my Mystic Quest soundtrack fit the circumstances.
23. You know how to get to Toad Suck, and Petit Jean Mtn. *
- I know where both of these are on a map, but hell if I know how to get there.
24. Why the state flag is diamond shaped.
- We're diamond-bearing in more ways than one.
25. If you’ve ever listened to Bob Robbins or Craig (Lips) O’Neill.
- Yep. According to the internet this is bad.
26. Ever been up the Pig trail and floated down the Buffalo .
- The Buffalo is one of the rivers that I've never ever been on but always wanted to do.
27. Your summers are measured in consecutive days that the temperature exceeds 100 degrees. *
- True for the rest of the state, Summers for me begin when the weather hits 80.
28. If you know the horse track is in Hot Springs and the dog track is in West Memphis.
- Knew the horse track.
29. If you ever bought earthquake insurance because you were once worried about the New Madrid Fault. *
- Even if I was worried, to my knowledge the New Madrid Fault was too far away from any of my places of residence
30. Deer hunting is considered an excused absence in your High Schools.
- Sad, but true. There were enough deer hunters in the administration that this flew legitimately.
And Finally:
31. You are 100% Arkie if you actually get more than half of these jokes and are “FIXIN” to send them to your friends.
- Hell yes.
BOLD entries denote things I can do/ do regularly.
* denote things I've seen but haven't done myself.
1. You can properly pronounce Ouachita.
Wa-shi-ta. Then again I hear natives pronounce it 'Oo-wa' instead.
2. You think people who complain about the heat in their states are sissies.
-I'd love to think this, but I wilt under 80 degree weather. Admittedly, it's freaking 100 right now.
3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel. *
- I didn't do this, but I know a lot of people who did.
4. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by
the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.
5. Stores don’t have bags, they have sacks.
- Paper or plastic sacks. Though we use 'bags' for their... other meaning.
6. You’ve seen people wear bib overalls at funerals.
7. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
- Naw, Little Rockians don't have an accent.
8. You measure distance in minutes.
- Yep. If I and other people knew metric this may not be the case.
9. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.
- Yep. Even has the metric craptons of sand, white fish-eating birds, and tourists wearing far too little and wanting more space than they need. Plus my parents loved the ocean and wanted to live there.
10. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit. *
- This technically doesn't apply, but if I /did/ listen to the weather forecast I totally would pick my outfit afterwards.
11. You know cow pies are not made of beef.
- They'd be much better if they were, though.
12. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date. *
- Not true, the one couple I knew who used outside influences used a Basketball schedule.
13. You have known someone who has a belt buckle bigger than your fist.
14. You aren’t surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, beer, and bait all in the same store.
- Pawn shops. Yes, some pawn shops rent around here.
15. You know that a Mercedes Benz isn’t a status symbol here - A Red Ford, F-250, Crew Cab, with Dual Wheels and Four Wheel Drive is. *
- While I don't drive one, I can at least understand what all those terms for the truck mean. I have no idea what Mercedes Benz is, other than a vehicle.
16. You know everything goes better with ‘Ranch’.
- I'm more of a Blue Cheese fan. Blue Cheese goes with /everything/ that isn't primarily made of sugar.
17. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.
18. If you know who Slick Willy is and how he achieved his name.
- I don't care what the rest of the country says, Bill Clinton was awesome.
19. If you have ever had this conversation: “You wanna Coke?” “Yeah.” ”What kind?” “Dr Pepper.”
- Way too often.
20. You know that “Whooooo Pig! Sooie!” is Calling the Hogs!
- Except for the incidents regarding Houston Nutt and Stan Heath, I do still enjoy my Razorback Basketball. In fact, I am often stunned when out-of-staters come in and wonder what the hell that noise is, considering how crazy our state is for (American) football.
21. You know where Fannie Fox Freeway is and how it was so named.
22. If you know what “Black Ice” is. (patches of ice on highway)
- I had an incident last Christmas when I more or less had to drive halfway to my grandmother's on this stuff. One of the few instances where my Mystic Quest soundtrack fit the circumstances.
23. You know how to get to Toad Suck, and Petit Jean Mtn. *
- I know where both of these are on a map, but hell if I know how to get there.
24. Why the state flag is diamond shaped.
- We're diamond-bearing in more ways than one.
25. If you’ve ever listened to Bob Robbins or Craig (Lips) O’Neill.
- Yep. According to the internet this is bad.
26. Ever been up the Pig trail and floated down the Buffalo .
- The Buffalo is one of the rivers that I've never ever been on but always wanted to do.
27. Your summers are measured in consecutive days that the temperature exceeds 100 degrees. *
- True for the rest of the state, Summers for me begin when the weather hits 80.
28. If you know the horse track is in Hot Springs and the dog track is in West Memphis.
- Knew the horse track.
29. If you ever bought earthquake insurance because you were once worried about the New Madrid Fault. *
- Even if I was worried, to my knowledge the New Madrid Fault was too far away from any of my places of residence
30. Deer hunting is considered an excused absence in your High Schools.
- Sad, but true. There were enough deer hunters in the administration that this flew legitimately.
And Finally:
31. You are 100% Arkie if you actually get more than half of these jokes and are “FIXIN” to send them to your friends.
- Hell yes.