How to Be Friends with an Ex (Really)
Can people really stay friends after a breakup?
Laura Snyder thinks so. What do you think?
So overused it's cliché. The classic parting line when a relationship ends: I want us to stay friends.
It can happen - and why not? You've shared memories, experiences and forged a connection that maybe shouldn't be just cast aside. But just because it's possible, doesn't mean it's easy. How to navigate the transition:
Determine the Feasibility
Even if breaking up was a mutual decision and there aren't any complications - infidelity, deceit, custody battles over your cat - sometimes it just won't be possible to get over thinking of your girlfriend as, well, your girlfriend. If you even slightly regret breaking up at all, you probably aren't ready to be no-sex-allowed chums.
Get It All Out
If you want to have a close friendship, you can't have too much relationship dirty laundry hanging between you. Are you on the same page about your relationship and your breakup? Yes, it's a risk to bring up one too many done-me-wrongs. You don't want to get yourselves so enraged that it's impossible to even remain on speaking terms. But if you don't resolve the circumstances of your relationship, you won't have a truly healthy friendship.
Make Space
Breaking up is (usually) more than just deciding not to share a mattress anymore. While you're adjusting to being single again, try to maintain a little distance with your ex. Continuing your Sunday night sushi ritual is only going to make it more difficult to move on with your life. When you're finally ready to see someone new and are okay with seeing your ex on someone else's arm, feel free to pick up those friendly chopsticks again.
Know When to Stop Trying
Sometimes you can't just downshift a relationship from sexual to platonic. Admit defeat when it just doesn't seem like it can work out happily. Just wanting a friendship to work unfortunately doesn't mean that it will.
I have tried I believe it can be done.
Laura Snyder thinks so. What do you think?
So overused it's cliché. The classic parting line when a relationship ends: I want us to stay friends.
It can happen - and why not? You've shared memories, experiences and forged a connection that maybe shouldn't be just cast aside. But just because it's possible, doesn't mean it's easy. How to navigate the transition:
Determine the Feasibility
Even if breaking up was a mutual decision and there aren't any complications - infidelity, deceit, custody battles over your cat - sometimes it just won't be possible to get over thinking of your girlfriend as, well, your girlfriend. If you even slightly regret breaking up at all, you probably aren't ready to be no-sex-allowed chums.
Get It All Out
If you want to have a close friendship, you can't have too much relationship dirty laundry hanging between you. Are you on the same page about your relationship and your breakup? Yes, it's a risk to bring up one too many done-me-wrongs. You don't want to get yourselves so enraged that it's impossible to even remain on speaking terms. But if you don't resolve the circumstances of your relationship, you won't have a truly healthy friendship.
Make Space
Breaking up is (usually) more than just deciding not to share a mattress anymore. While you're adjusting to being single again, try to maintain a little distance with your ex. Continuing your Sunday night sushi ritual is only going to make it more difficult to move on with your life. When you're finally ready to see someone new and are okay with seeing your ex on someone else's arm, feel free to pick up those friendly chopsticks again.
Know When to Stop Trying
Sometimes you can't just downshift a relationship from sexual to platonic. Admit defeat when it just doesn't seem like it can work out happily. Just wanting a friendship to work unfortunately doesn't mean that it will.
I have tried I believe it can be done.