my bloodstream needs ice sucky and mr. goodbar
guys, i can't go out this weekend.
yesterday, i asked mr. jen and he said no. he told me that it was because my room was a "mess" on monday morning before he went to work. this is what i have to say about that:
a)If mess means the one pair of pants i just took off 5 seconds ago constitutes mess, then sure it was a mess alright.
b)I'm sorry, but you're going to have to give me half a second to pick up my room after i finish getting ready for school!
c) why the hell does my crappy room have to be fucking pristine all the damn time anyway?!?
so his new guidelines are that i have to go a whole week without being told "don't ask."
okay, for those of you who have spent more than ten minutes in my house (that makes no one), you would know that "don't ask" is one of mr. jen's favorite lines. He's likely to say it at least 20 times a night to one of the three of us kids, and that is hardly an exaggeration. He says it when he's angry, which is about 90% of the time, and he says it when he's drunk, which is about 80% of the time. Those percentages overlap, mind you.
"Don't ask; the answer is no."
I hear it hourly. And if he's serious about not saying it to me for a whole week before i can go out, then i'll never be able to leave the house again.
But not being able to go out this weekend has been largely the fault of my mom. Insane, I know. My dad actually was having some heart last night. Apparently he asked my mom if he was being too hard on me. Any rational person would say yes, but my mom was like, "No, I don't think she should stay over Emily's this weekend."
What the FUCK!?!??!
And this has made me realize something. My mom hates when I go out. She hates me being away from the house. Why, you may ask? I think I know why. She doesn't dislike my friends. She doesn't distrust me. She just can't bare to be left in this house with my dad and my brothers. And I don't really blame her. But I treat my mom with respect and I talk to her all the time and we're good pals, which my brothers and dad do not. So I get punished for it. "It's okay, Jen," my mom reassured as she viewed the horror on my face. "We'll go shopping tomorrow! :D"
It makes me fear whats going to happen come college-time. My mother may possibly go insane. I think I would too.
Meanwhile, I'm going insane because I can't go see my friends that I miss so much, like Lasko and Annie, and I don't get to meet the new people that I hear about all the time and I know I would love. And mostly, I can't go stay with my favorite people in the world, the Macris. I have to stay here, and deal with all my father's bullshit once more.
Maybe next weekend, guys.
yesterday, i asked mr. jen and he said no. he told me that it was because my room was a "mess" on monday morning before he went to work. this is what i have to say about that:
a)If mess means the one pair of pants i just took off 5 seconds ago constitutes mess, then sure it was a mess alright.
b)I'm sorry, but you're going to have to give me half a second to pick up my room after i finish getting ready for school!
c) why the hell does my crappy room have to be fucking pristine all the damn time anyway?!?
so his new guidelines are that i have to go a whole week without being told "don't ask."
okay, for those of you who have spent more than ten minutes in my house (that makes no one), you would know that "don't ask" is one of mr. jen's favorite lines. He's likely to say it at least 20 times a night to one of the three of us kids, and that is hardly an exaggeration. He says it when he's angry, which is about 90% of the time, and he says it when he's drunk, which is about 80% of the time. Those percentages overlap, mind you.
"Don't ask; the answer is no."
I hear it hourly. And if he's serious about not saying it to me for a whole week before i can go out, then i'll never be able to leave the house again.
But not being able to go out this weekend has been largely the fault of my mom. Insane, I know. My dad actually was having some heart last night. Apparently he asked my mom if he was being too hard on me. Any rational person would say yes, but my mom was like, "No, I don't think she should stay over Emily's this weekend."
What the FUCK!?!??!
And this has made me realize something. My mom hates when I go out. She hates me being away from the house. Why, you may ask? I think I know why. She doesn't dislike my friends. She doesn't distrust me. She just can't bare to be left in this house with my dad and my brothers. And I don't really blame her. But I treat my mom with respect and I talk to her all the time and we're good pals, which my brothers and dad do not. So I get punished for it. "It's okay, Jen," my mom reassured as she viewed the horror on my face. "We'll go shopping tomorrow! :D"
It makes me fear whats going to happen come college-time. My mother may possibly go insane. I think I would too.
Meanwhile, I'm going insane because I can't go see my friends that I miss so much, like Lasko and Annie, and I don't get to meet the new people that I hear about all the time and I know I would love. And mostly, I can't go stay with my favorite people in the world, the Macris. I have to stay here, and deal with all my father's bullshit once more.
Maybe next weekend, guys.