onion soup reflections
Maureen is playing with Isla in the other room. She is so great with her. Everyday I become more and more confident in going back to work and knowing that Maureen is loving Isla as I do. She must miss her two boys and my heart aches for her that she doesn't see them to often. You see, her boys are being raised by her mother in her tribal homeland since she became a widow at 23. She is younger than I am and we employ her to manage our house. This practise is foreign to me as a foreigner but common and expected for my husband the Kenyan. While I understand the need to employ others if you are able in this impoverished place, it took me a long long time to someone doing MY chores. My empathy makes me treat her differently than even my husband. Maureen is a friend and someone who I respect and trust. Even with my own child. They are having a conversation in the other room, hopefully in Swahili, which I know she will teach her.
I've lost a few friends over the past few months but have gained perspective on this life I share with others. The drama that unfolded touched my family and as the saying goes blood is thicker than water...and wine and tequila and jack daniels himself. Today all I can think is about Adrienns's new Tattoo - familia karma imani- Family Karma Faith. Family first, Karma will always turn towards you its your choice if it fills your heart or bruise your balls or couchie and faith in yourself and your life is fundamental. I am sad that things have to go the way they go sometimes and I mourn. I am mourning today but just for a while because one day sooner or later I will have to mourn harder than today and I must build my confidence in myself to know I will get through the drama and heartache.
I wonder what Isla thinks about. Today i think she is focusing on growing. She has slept this morning when usually she is up and chatting with the yellow pillow. She is now active, up and chillin under her gym as I write this. Tonight Anne, Paul, and Dana are coming over for some tapas and wine. I am feeling better already. I miss my sisters though, and didn't realise it would be so hard after they were gone. I've lived here getting into 5 years now, and 4 to 6 weeks respectively with family has filled me up so much, that even after the short time is gone, I am sad enough to write about it. Makes me reflect on how to live the next 18 years with my new little daughter. Family first is lesson number one.
I've lost a few friends over the past few months but have gained perspective on this life I share with others. The drama that unfolded touched my family and as the saying goes blood is thicker than water...and wine and tequila and jack daniels himself. Today all I can think is about Adrienns's new Tattoo - familia karma imani- Family Karma Faith. Family first, Karma will always turn towards you its your choice if it fills your heart or bruise your balls or couchie and faith in yourself and your life is fundamental. I am sad that things have to go the way they go sometimes and I mourn. I am mourning today but just for a while because one day sooner or later I will have to mourn harder than today and I must build my confidence in myself to know I will get through the drama and heartache.
I wonder what Isla thinks about. Today i think she is focusing on growing. She has slept this morning when usually she is up and chatting with the yellow pillow. She is now active, up and chillin under her gym as I write this. Tonight Anne, Paul, and Dana are coming over for some tapas and wine. I am feeling better already. I miss my sisters though, and didn't realise it would be so hard after they were gone. I've lived here getting into 5 years now, and 4 to 6 weeks respectively with family has filled me up so much, that even after the short time is gone, I am sad enough to write about it. Makes me reflect on how to live the next 18 years with my new little daughter. Family first is lesson number one.