Couples’ Retreat: Shirt Tales
02-10-10
What I’m Reading Now: The Stephen King Phenomenon, by Michael R. Collings
It may surprise some of you to know this, but I’m a planner. Often months before a Disney World trip, I will begin mapping out my routes through the parks. Extra Magic Hours - during which resort guests can get to a certain park an hour early or stay at a certain park up to three hours late - are determined and planned around. Advance Dining Reservations, or ADRs, can be made up to 180 days in advance, and sometimes that’s necessary; quite frequently I know where I’ll be having dinner five or six months before I do. It’s important to pin this stuff down, because it’s integral to a trip operating smoothly, all the gears and cogs working together to create a seamless experience.
Now, on the other hand, there is something to be said for spontaneity. Especially when you involve other people, with their own ideas and agendas and hopes, you need to be flexible. All those months of determining touring plans, historical and predicted crowd levels, dining, weather, park schedule, and all those other details that become easy to get lost in … all of it’s for naught if the people you’re with want to do something different.
What’s important to remember, then, is that compromise is the absolute key to a good Disney World vacation. Absolute control can strangle the fun out of any trip, even if it’s in the Most Magical Place On Earth (trivia: only one place can be The Happiest Place On Earth, and that’s trademarked to Disneyland. Disney World will also accept the moniker The Vacation Capital Of the World, even though its use has been reduced since the late 80s.) Then again, absolute spontaneity can result in chaos. Imagine arriving at 10 to a park you decided to go to when you woke up, waiting in 50-minute lines all day, finding it impossible to get a table at any restaurant, and stopping to check the map and show schedule every five minutes because you don’t know what you’re doing. That’s no fun, either.
This, however, IS fun.
Balance is the most important element for anyone heading a group to the World, especially when the other members of your party aren’t as familiar. You have to be a strong, knowledgeable leader, but you have to be authority who listens. These are things I learned on this trip. I’m pretty sure Joezer will be pleased.
* * *
We woke up on the second day of our trip arrogantly early. A few things working against our sleep schedule: one, my need to get to the parks at Park Opening. Two, Shawn’s need to have time to wake up in the morning. Three, Barry and Marty’s need to have coffee and a biggish breakfast before heading out. When I’m on my solo trips and I want to make sure I’m at the park entrance by 8:30, I roll out of bed at quarter of 8, throw myself in the shower, jump into the clothes I picked out the night before, grab a cereal bar, and head on down to the bus stop by 8:00. I’m a little bleary, but I know I’ll wake up on the bus. Even when I go with Joe, we wake up around 7:30; because he has a car, it makes it easier. I don’t let him eat in the morning until we have a few rides under our belts. I’m … I’m remarkably mean to Joe, aren’t I?
Despite my exhaustion, I was cheery enough when we put away our breakfast things and were out at the bus stop for Animal Kingdom by 8:00. Huzzah!
“You’re wearing an Epcot shirt,” Barry noticed as I affixed my ears to my head.
“Yeah,” Marty commented. “Yesterday at Epcot, you wore an Animal Kingdom shirt.”
Shawn stepped in. “He doesn’t like to wear the shirt of the park to the park. He doesn’t want to be that guy.”
“I like to be dissonant!” I told them. I’m pretty sure dissonant wasn’t the right word. Whatever. All I’d had that morning was a breakfast bar. Leave me alone.
* * *
Okay, I’m going to go right out and say it: Disney managed to piss me off.
You know how I go on and on about the Opening Ceremonies, little shows at park opening that sort of introduce guests to the experience of each specific park? Epcot doesn’t have one, but that’s because Epcot is perfect otherwise and doesn’t need one. (Hyperbole alert! Oops, too late.) Animal Kingdom’s was always one of my favorites, a little cheesy but always fun. Guests gather on Discovery Island near the Tree of Life, and Minnie and Goofy and Pluto come out in a jeep and tell people to make sure they have sunscreen and a map and a camera. Then they’re looking for Mickey, and off in the distance, he appears in front of the Tree of Life, off in the distance, and waves at people as they file into the park. It’s sweet and fun.
Well, now, they stop people just after the turnstiles and go through the motions of the opening ceremony, only because it’s not near the Tree of Life, there’s no Mickey appearing magically; he’s just there on the jeep instead of Goofy. It’s not as magical a show, and not as fun, and because it doesn’t include the park icon, I feel it undercuts the whole point of the opening ceremony.
I do understand why they did it; apparently, with the guests crowding onto the bridge to Discovery Island, a lot of people couldn’t see the ceremony. This way, everyone can ostensibly see what’s going on. But my word to them: suck it up and get there early if you want magic. You want to play, you got to pay.
There are reasons why I don’t work there.
* * *
The boys loved Dinoland U.S.A.
A lot of people hate it. It’s designed to look cheap and silly, a roadside carnival evoking 50s kitsch, sprung up around stereotypical dinosaur themes. There are midway games and cheesy rollercoaster rides, and the whole thing is delightfully camp. One Imagineer, in response to backlash, stated, “Do you have any idea how much it cost to make it look this cheap?” The main complaint is that the area isn’t “Disney” enough, but I have always disagreed. Dinoland is very intricately themed, bringing someone back to a very specific time and place; plus, it’s part of a larger “dinosaur” story that includes the Dinosaur attraction and a nearby research facility that … you know what, the boys didn’t care about the backstory either. Long story short, gays like camp. And Shawn, stunningly, said his favorite “new” attraction was Primeval Whirl, the Wild Mouse-type coaster that is pretty much universally disparaged by “real” Disneyphiles. Suck it, philistines!
They also enjoyed the scary awesome of the Dinosaur ride (Shawn: “I didn’t know it had Wallace Langham and Felicia Rashad in it!” Me: “I’ve told you that at least a dozen times.” Shawn: “You know I don’t listen to you!”) In the gift shop, the boys went to get a ride photo and Shawn and I went to look at the Vinylmation dolls. They … how do I explain Vinylmation? They are tiny figures in the shape of Mickey Mouse, but painted in unique and odd ways. The thing about the figures is that they come in series, like baseball or Garbage Pail Kids cards, so when you buy one, you don’t know which one you’re going to get. My desperate hope was to find this one:
That’s right. Steampunk Mickey. Literally Steampunk Mickey. Oh. My. Gear.
Unfortunately, the one I’d picked earlier in the week was something red with eyes where Mickey’s ears are. Shawn, on the other hand, managed to select a totally blank, paint-by-numbers Mickey that was pretty damn awesome in itself. So imagine my surprise and delight when, randomly, the gift shop at Dinosaur had a Steampunk Mickey shirt! Totes and for reals!
From there, Everest, which Shawn braved once and Marty and Barry braved twice and I managed to ride four times. There are people known as YetiMen who come to Animal Kingdom specifically to ride Expedition Everest all day long, never getting off. I don’t think I’m that bad, but man, do I love Everest. It’s always a toss-up between that, Splash Mountain, Spaceship Earth, and the Tower of Terror as my favorite attraction in Disney. (Today, because I’m writing about it, it’s Everest. God, I wish I was on it now. Well not now-now. It’s like 50 degrees at WDW right now. Zoinks.)
Kilimanjaro Safaris: hooray! Walking tours: tigers! Tusker House: buffet! Shawn and I were pooped, so we decided to head out, leaving the boys behind to try some stuff we didn’t quite get to (I love Kali River Rapids, but seriously: it was cold and I’d gotten soaked last time. Never again! Until probably June!) On our way out of the park, I grabbed Shawn by the arm. “Sweetie! Baloo! Baloo is up there! I want to see Baloo!”
Last time we were in the park together, Shawn gave me a patented eyeroll and walked on by. By now, I think he realized just how important Baloo really is to me.
Thanks, my dude.
Kev
What I’m Reading Now: The Stephen King Phenomenon, by Michael R. Collings
It may surprise some of you to know this, but I’m a planner. Often months before a Disney World trip, I will begin mapping out my routes through the parks. Extra Magic Hours - during which resort guests can get to a certain park an hour early or stay at a certain park up to three hours late - are determined and planned around. Advance Dining Reservations, or ADRs, can be made up to 180 days in advance, and sometimes that’s necessary; quite frequently I know where I’ll be having dinner five or six months before I do. It’s important to pin this stuff down, because it’s integral to a trip operating smoothly, all the gears and cogs working together to create a seamless experience.
Now, on the other hand, there is something to be said for spontaneity. Especially when you involve other people, with their own ideas and agendas and hopes, you need to be flexible. All those months of determining touring plans, historical and predicted crowd levels, dining, weather, park schedule, and all those other details that become easy to get lost in … all of it’s for naught if the people you’re with want to do something different.
What’s important to remember, then, is that compromise is the absolute key to a good Disney World vacation. Absolute control can strangle the fun out of any trip, even if it’s in the Most Magical Place On Earth (trivia: only one place can be The Happiest Place On Earth, and that’s trademarked to Disneyland. Disney World will also accept the moniker The Vacation Capital Of the World, even though its use has been reduced since the late 80s.) Then again, absolute spontaneity can result in chaos. Imagine arriving at 10 to a park you decided to go to when you woke up, waiting in 50-minute lines all day, finding it impossible to get a table at any restaurant, and stopping to check the map and show schedule every five minutes because you don’t know what you’re doing. That’s no fun, either.
This, however, IS fun.
Balance is the most important element for anyone heading a group to the World, especially when the other members of your party aren’t as familiar. You have to be a strong, knowledgeable leader, but you have to be authority who listens. These are things I learned on this trip. I’m pretty sure Joezer will be pleased.
* * *
We woke up on the second day of our trip arrogantly early. A few things working against our sleep schedule: one, my need to get to the parks at Park Opening. Two, Shawn’s need to have time to wake up in the morning. Three, Barry and Marty’s need to have coffee and a biggish breakfast before heading out. When I’m on my solo trips and I want to make sure I’m at the park entrance by 8:30, I roll out of bed at quarter of 8, throw myself in the shower, jump into the clothes I picked out the night before, grab a cereal bar, and head on down to the bus stop by 8:00. I’m a little bleary, but I know I’ll wake up on the bus. Even when I go with Joe, we wake up around 7:30; because he has a car, it makes it easier. I don’t let him eat in the morning until we have a few rides under our belts. I’m … I’m remarkably mean to Joe, aren’t I?
Despite my exhaustion, I was cheery enough when we put away our breakfast things and were out at the bus stop for Animal Kingdom by 8:00. Huzzah!
“You’re wearing an Epcot shirt,” Barry noticed as I affixed my ears to my head.
“Yeah,” Marty commented. “Yesterday at Epcot, you wore an Animal Kingdom shirt.”
Shawn stepped in. “He doesn’t like to wear the shirt of the park to the park. He doesn’t want to be that guy.”
“I like to be dissonant!” I told them. I’m pretty sure dissonant wasn’t the right word. Whatever. All I’d had that morning was a breakfast bar. Leave me alone.
* * *
Okay, I’m going to go right out and say it: Disney managed to piss me off.
You know how I go on and on about the Opening Ceremonies, little shows at park opening that sort of introduce guests to the experience of each specific park? Epcot doesn’t have one, but that’s because Epcot is perfect otherwise and doesn’t need one. (Hyperbole alert! Oops, too late.) Animal Kingdom’s was always one of my favorites, a little cheesy but always fun. Guests gather on Discovery Island near the Tree of Life, and Minnie and Goofy and Pluto come out in a jeep and tell people to make sure they have sunscreen and a map and a camera. Then they’re looking for Mickey, and off in the distance, he appears in front of the Tree of Life, off in the distance, and waves at people as they file into the park. It’s sweet and fun.
Well, now, they stop people just after the turnstiles and go through the motions of the opening ceremony, only because it’s not near the Tree of Life, there’s no Mickey appearing magically; he’s just there on the jeep instead of Goofy. It’s not as magical a show, and not as fun, and because it doesn’t include the park icon, I feel it undercuts the whole point of the opening ceremony.
I do understand why they did it; apparently, with the guests crowding onto the bridge to Discovery Island, a lot of people couldn’t see the ceremony. This way, everyone can ostensibly see what’s going on. But my word to them: suck it up and get there early if you want magic. You want to play, you got to pay.
There are reasons why I don’t work there.
* * *
The boys loved Dinoland U.S.A.
A lot of people hate it. It’s designed to look cheap and silly, a roadside carnival evoking 50s kitsch, sprung up around stereotypical dinosaur themes. There are midway games and cheesy rollercoaster rides, and the whole thing is delightfully camp. One Imagineer, in response to backlash, stated, “Do you have any idea how much it cost to make it look this cheap?” The main complaint is that the area isn’t “Disney” enough, but I have always disagreed. Dinoland is very intricately themed, bringing someone back to a very specific time and place; plus, it’s part of a larger “dinosaur” story that includes the Dinosaur attraction and a nearby research facility that … you know what, the boys didn’t care about the backstory either. Long story short, gays like camp. And Shawn, stunningly, said his favorite “new” attraction was Primeval Whirl, the Wild Mouse-type coaster that is pretty much universally disparaged by “real” Disneyphiles. Suck it, philistines!
They also enjoyed the scary awesome of the Dinosaur ride (Shawn: “I didn’t know it had Wallace Langham and Felicia Rashad in it!” Me: “I’ve told you that at least a dozen times.” Shawn: “You know I don’t listen to you!”) In the gift shop, the boys went to get a ride photo and Shawn and I went to look at the Vinylmation dolls. They … how do I explain Vinylmation? They are tiny figures in the shape of Mickey Mouse, but painted in unique and odd ways. The thing about the figures is that they come in series, like baseball or Garbage Pail Kids cards, so when you buy one, you don’t know which one you’re going to get. My desperate hope was to find this one:
That’s right. Steampunk Mickey. Literally Steampunk Mickey. Oh. My. Gear.
Unfortunately, the one I’d picked earlier in the week was something red with eyes where Mickey’s ears are. Shawn, on the other hand, managed to select a totally blank, paint-by-numbers Mickey that was pretty damn awesome in itself. So imagine my surprise and delight when, randomly, the gift shop at Dinosaur had a Steampunk Mickey shirt! Totes and for reals!
From there, Everest, which Shawn braved once and Marty and Barry braved twice and I managed to ride four times. There are people known as YetiMen who come to Animal Kingdom specifically to ride Expedition Everest all day long, never getting off. I don’t think I’m that bad, but man, do I love Everest. It’s always a toss-up between that, Splash Mountain, Spaceship Earth, and the Tower of Terror as my favorite attraction in Disney. (Today, because I’m writing about it, it’s Everest. God, I wish I was on it now. Well not now-now. It’s like 50 degrees at WDW right now. Zoinks.)
Kilimanjaro Safaris: hooray! Walking tours: tigers! Tusker House: buffet! Shawn and I were pooped, so we decided to head out, leaving the boys behind to try some stuff we didn’t quite get to (I love Kali River Rapids, but seriously: it was cold and I’d gotten soaked last time. Never again! Until probably June!) On our way out of the park, I grabbed Shawn by the arm. “Sweetie! Baloo! Baloo is up there! I want to see Baloo!”
Last time we were in the park together, Shawn gave me a patented eyeroll and walked on by. By now, I think he realized just how important Baloo really is to me.
Thanks, my dude.
Kev