Couples’ Retreat: Some Antics In Two Parks
02-09-10
What I’m Reading Now: The Last Lecture, by Randy Pausch
As I like to say in these reports, whenever I’m at the World, I like to try new stuff, and that new stuff extends to food. I always find it funny when people come back from their trips complaining that they had to eat “theme park food” their whole trip. Sure, burgers and dogs and fries are standard and ubiquitous, but they’re not the rule. You don’t even have to search very hard to find interesting, exciting food you’ll remember.
On my last trip, I continued my conquering of the World Showcase table-service eateries by delving into Germany’s Biergarten with Joezer. Here’s how I described it: The server leads you from the main World Showcase promenade into a dimly lit hallway, which then opens up to reveal a small German town at night. Mock rooftops stretched up on either side of tables set up on levels, leading down to a parquet floor before a large stage. A raucous oompah band cycles through a sequence of German folk songs, before imploring everyone to raise our glasses in cheer: “Prosit!”
Shawn’s immediate response upon reading that last October was, “That sounds amazing! Why didn’t we go there?”
“I didn’t think you’d want to go to there!”
“I want to go to there!”
Well, what could I do?
Just before noon, we sauntered our way across the bridge that leads from Future World to World Showcase, the boys’ eyes wide, Barry snapping pictures of everything. It’s quite a change to go from the somewhat obvious steampunkery of the front of the park to the relatively sedate, subtle pleasures of the World Showcase pavilions. Disney does everything in their power to make the transition as seamless as possible, which isn’t so difficult if you’re thinking in the meta: the whole concept of Epcot is a world harmonious, each country and each people communicating with each other. That’s what Spaceship Earth, their flagship attraction, is all about. So we move from a future place where communication is already the standard into a representation and idealization of our current world, where diverse countries are symbolically right next to each other, sharing their rich cultural histories with one another. Some people don’t think this deeply about it. I’m starting to worry about my attachment to Epcot.
As for the Biergarten, the kids seemed to dig it pretty thoroughly. We were seated right next to the stage, so that both the oompah band and the kids dancing to them were right up next to us. Shawn didn’t care for that part, nor did he care for the fact that, as in real German restaurants, we shared our table with another table. Later, I said, “So, you wanted the authentic German experience, except for the stuff that makes it authentic?”
“I liked the schnitzel!”
Now, very occasionally, at Disney and in life, I enjoy it when people do stuff with me that I really want to do. I’m very hands-off about that, though. I’m really a no-pressure type guy.
“Okay, we can see some of World Showcase, but the Voices of Liberty start at 2:15 and we need to be back to see them before the American Adventure, because it’s part of the whole experience and you need to see them too.” I’m not quite sure why Marty and Barry wanted me to be their tour guide.
Interesting: the show was in mid-swing when we sat down, and the Voice of Liberty I have a bit of a crush on … winked at me. Um.
Marty elbowed me. “Did he just wink at you?”
“I hope so!”
After the a capella awesomeness, I sprang to my feet and … well, accosted seems to be the word that fits here. I accosted him and said howdy.
It's a Ross Matthews kind of attraction.
Now, I’m not sure if I misread the wink. Likely. I misread a lot of things, such as when straight guys dance funky and I become convinced it’s for my benefit. In any case, Mr. Voicey Guy was very polite, but very rushed. Barry snapped a quick photo of me with him and then he dashed off. The whole wink-wink, accost-accost might have ended right there … except that then I was accosted! By a fellow Voice! Oh, forfend!
The dude - very talented, so not my type - remembered me from the last time I was there. Though he was sketchy on my name, he remembered I had a partner, and that we’d come the year before on our anniversary, and that I loved the song “Shenendoah.” Seriously. Of course this could have been a good old slice of Disney hospitality … but honestly, dude was intent. So my only thought now is that there’s some sort of heated rivalry between the fellow I like and the fellow that likes me, and when they’re backstage, they Exchange Words in a very Disney-appropriate but fully scathing way. I have my fantasies, and in them, Epcot gays fight over me.
Shawn hadn’t wanted to sit in on the Voices this time, but he joined us for the American Adventure - one of those things that always makes me sob like a tiny child and which did little for my traveling companions. Something curious, though, as we emerged into the daylight. Shawn said, “You know, the robots-”
At once: “The Audio-Animatronics?” I can’t help it; it’s knee-jerk, like when someone says less when I know they mean fewer.
Eyeroll. “Yeah, them. They don’t freak me out as much this time. I think I’m used to them. I sort of get how they’re there to enhance the show now.”
My sweetie, you guys: he’s never going to be a Disney Person, but at least he gets it. That’s all any of us want.
* * *
We broke midday as usual, a concept that had flaws in it this time (which I’ll get to tomorrow), and when we’d rested and recuperated from our daylight hours, we boarded the bus to the Hollywood Studios. Now, I’ve gone over (and over, and over) my fascination with seeing Spaceship Earth first thing in the morning, but kids, there’s nothing like approaching the Studios after dark, and seeing the Tower of Terror all lit up. Gloomily, of course. It’s very well themed.
Later on, Marty thanked me for showing them this park first at night. “It’s so pretty, with all the neon and lights. It looks like old Hollywood.” The four of us stood at the crossroads of Sunset Boulevard and Hollywood Boulevard, gazing down at the Tower in the distance, and at once all the anxiety and nervousness and tension just drifted away. Every once in a little while (when I’m actually there), I get to wondering if the Studios isn’t my favorite park, after all.
We experienced the Tower. Shawn explained that it’s a ride he loves exactly once. He won’t ride it a second time on a trip; part of it’s because he doesn’t love the dropping sensation, and part of it is because he is content with experiencing things a single time (a concept that leaves me baffled). None of it mattered, though, because back at the hotel, he’d changed into his Tower of Terror T-shirt, Shawn’s most amazingly random purchase ever, and wore it proudly as we tooled around the park at night.
Rock N Rollercoaster came next (oh, new variations on a theme: instead of just calling it the Rock and Roll Rollercoaster, people have also begun referring to it as the Rock and Roll Coaster. You guys, I just.), and even though Barry apparently hates Aerosmith, he loved the ride. Against all logic and sense, the line for Toy Story Midway Mania was only a posted 40 minutes … and damn if we didn’t get on in 20.
A quick snack sated us, and though I half-heartedly suggested touring the shops, my boys seemed to be crashing. That was all right; I might have been crashing, too. My first day back, I try to get a lot done, and to give Shawn and Marty and Barry props, they did not once complain.
We headed back to our rooms, tired but happy, with plans to meet the following morning for breakfast at the cracklin’ bright hour of 7:30. On the roster for tomorrow: Animal Kingdom in the morning, and a return to Epcot at night.
I had a hard time getting to sleep.
Kev
What I’m Reading Now: The Last Lecture, by Randy Pausch
As I like to say in these reports, whenever I’m at the World, I like to try new stuff, and that new stuff extends to food. I always find it funny when people come back from their trips complaining that they had to eat “theme park food” their whole trip. Sure, burgers and dogs and fries are standard and ubiquitous, but they’re not the rule. You don’t even have to search very hard to find interesting, exciting food you’ll remember.
On my last trip, I continued my conquering of the World Showcase table-service eateries by delving into Germany’s Biergarten with Joezer. Here’s how I described it: The server leads you from the main World Showcase promenade into a dimly lit hallway, which then opens up to reveal a small German town at night. Mock rooftops stretched up on either side of tables set up on levels, leading down to a parquet floor before a large stage. A raucous oompah band cycles through a sequence of German folk songs, before imploring everyone to raise our glasses in cheer: “Prosit!”
Shawn’s immediate response upon reading that last October was, “That sounds amazing! Why didn’t we go there?”
“I didn’t think you’d want to go to there!”
“I want to go to there!”
Well, what could I do?
Just before noon, we sauntered our way across the bridge that leads from Future World to World Showcase, the boys’ eyes wide, Barry snapping pictures of everything. It’s quite a change to go from the somewhat obvious steampunkery of the front of the park to the relatively sedate, subtle pleasures of the World Showcase pavilions. Disney does everything in their power to make the transition as seamless as possible, which isn’t so difficult if you’re thinking in the meta: the whole concept of Epcot is a world harmonious, each country and each people communicating with each other. That’s what Spaceship Earth, their flagship attraction, is all about. So we move from a future place where communication is already the standard into a representation and idealization of our current world, where diverse countries are symbolically right next to each other, sharing their rich cultural histories with one another. Some people don’t think this deeply about it. I’m starting to worry about my attachment to Epcot.
As for the Biergarten, the kids seemed to dig it pretty thoroughly. We were seated right next to the stage, so that both the oompah band and the kids dancing to them were right up next to us. Shawn didn’t care for that part, nor did he care for the fact that, as in real German restaurants, we shared our table with another table. Later, I said, “So, you wanted the authentic German experience, except for the stuff that makes it authentic?”
“I liked the schnitzel!”
Now, very occasionally, at Disney and in life, I enjoy it when people do stuff with me that I really want to do. I’m very hands-off about that, though. I’m really a no-pressure type guy.
“Okay, we can see some of World Showcase, but the Voices of Liberty start at 2:15 and we need to be back to see them before the American Adventure, because it’s part of the whole experience and you need to see them too.” I’m not quite sure why Marty and Barry wanted me to be their tour guide.
Interesting: the show was in mid-swing when we sat down, and the Voice of Liberty I have a bit of a crush on … winked at me. Um.
Marty elbowed me. “Did he just wink at you?”
“I hope so!”
After the a capella awesomeness, I sprang to my feet and … well, accosted seems to be the word that fits here. I accosted him and said howdy.
It's a Ross Matthews kind of attraction.
Now, I’m not sure if I misread the wink. Likely. I misread a lot of things, such as when straight guys dance funky and I become convinced it’s for my benefit. In any case, Mr. Voicey Guy was very polite, but very rushed. Barry snapped a quick photo of me with him and then he dashed off. The whole wink-wink, accost-accost might have ended right there … except that then I was accosted! By a fellow Voice! Oh, forfend!
The dude - very talented, so not my type - remembered me from the last time I was there. Though he was sketchy on my name, he remembered I had a partner, and that we’d come the year before on our anniversary, and that I loved the song “Shenendoah.” Seriously. Of course this could have been a good old slice of Disney hospitality … but honestly, dude was intent. So my only thought now is that there’s some sort of heated rivalry between the fellow I like and the fellow that likes me, and when they’re backstage, they Exchange Words in a very Disney-appropriate but fully scathing way. I have my fantasies, and in them, Epcot gays fight over me.
Shawn hadn’t wanted to sit in on the Voices this time, but he joined us for the American Adventure - one of those things that always makes me sob like a tiny child and which did little for my traveling companions. Something curious, though, as we emerged into the daylight. Shawn said, “You know, the robots-”
At once: “The Audio-Animatronics?” I can’t help it; it’s knee-jerk, like when someone says less when I know they mean fewer.
Eyeroll. “Yeah, them. They don’t freak me out as much this time. I think I’m used to them. I sort of get how they’re there to enhance the show now.”
My sweetie, you guys: he’s never going to be a Disney Person, but at least he gets it. That’s all any of us want.
* * *
We broke midday as usual, a concept that had flaws in it this time (which I’ll get to tomorrow), and when we’d rested and recuperated from our daylight hours, we boarded the bus to the Hollywood Studios. Now, I’ve gone over (and over, and over) my fascination with seeing Spaceship Earth first thing in the morning, but kids, there’s nothing like approaching the Studios after dark, and seeing the Tower of Terror all lit up. Gloomily, of course. It’s very well themed.
Later on, Marty thanked me for showing them this park first at night. “It’s so pretty, with all the neon and lights. It looks like old Hollywood.” The four of us stood at the crossroads of Sunset Boulevard and Hollywood Boulevard, gazing down at the Tower in the distance, and at once all the anxiety and nervousness and tension just drifted away. Every once in a little while (when I’m actually there), I get to wondering if the Studios isn’t my favorite park, after all.
We experienced the Tower. Shawn explained that it’s a ride he loves exactly once. He won’t ride it a second time on a trip; part of it’s because he doesn’t love the dropping sensation, and part of it is because he is content with experiencing things a single time (a concept that leaves me baffled). None of it mattered, though, because back at the hotel, he’d changed into his Tower of Terror T-shirt, Shawn’s most amazingly random purchase ever, and wore it proudly as we tooled around the park at night.
Rock N Rollercoaster came next (oh, new variations on a theme: instead of just calling it the Rock and Roll Rollercoaster, people have also begun referring to it as the Rock and Roll Coaster. You guys, I just.), and even though Barry apparently hates Aerosmith, he loved the ride. Against all logic and sense, the line for Toy Story Midway Mania was only a posted 40 minutes … and damn if we didn’t get on in 20.
A quick snack sated us, and though I half-heartedly suggested touring the shops, my boys seemed to be crashing. That was all right; I might have been crashing, too. My first day back, I try to get a lot done, and to give Shawn and Marty and Barry props, they did not once complain.
We headed back to our rooms, tired but happy, with plans to meet the following morning for breakfast at the cracklin’ bright hour of 7:30. On the roster for tomorrow: Animal Kingdom in the morning, and a return to Epcot at night.
I had a hard time getting to sleep.
Kev