I might be offended by that conversation depending on how well I knew the people and their sense of humor. In that last conversation I would have jumped on "I probably wouldn't understand it anyways" just like you did - if that is the case you should totally go check it out and ask questions!
It is hard when people are SO different in their worldviews and approaches to things, but trying to have constructive conversations about the topics can be helpful. When I go to visit my parents (like this weekend) we end up having all kinds of conversations that my mom finds interesting because we inevitably come up with something she hasn't thought of before and it helps her become even more informed and/or open-minded. This time it was the Pride parade in Toronto, but a lot of the time it is religion. I ended up having a parenting conversation with my brother (no children and newly partnered) and he was asking/telling me about putting Willa on a bottle, getting her a crib, praising her, etc. I just listened and then explained what I planned on doing, and a little bit about how praise can be problematic. The praise part really got him thinking because he had never considered that angle before. It helps that my family is generally open-minded to begin with though.
I encountered the "good girl" thing for the first time at Mike's parents place during our trip. I was surprised because both parents said it CONSTANTLY. I hadn't really thought about it until conversations with you guys about A and your approach, and now that I have Willa I just haven't done it myself. It hasn't even been a conscious decision on my parent, just not something I say. Hearing it coming from Mike's parents constantly though, wow, really got to me. Neither Mike nor I said anything to them while we were there, and nothing to each other about it while we were there either, but once we got home we were both like "did you notice...?" So I think we are going to talk to his parents about it next time we visit if it continues. I'm not sure how they will take it.
I might be offended by that conversation depending on how well I knew the people and their sense of humor. In that last conversation I would have jumped on "I probably wouldn't understand it anyways" just like you did - if that is the case you should totally go check it out and ask questions!
It is hard when people are SO different in their worldviews and approaches to things, but trying to have constructive conversations about the topics can be helpful. When I go to visit my parents (like this weekend) we end up having all kinds of conversations that my mom finds interesting because we inevitably come up with something she hasn't thought of before and it helps her become even more informed and/or open-minded. This time it was the Pride parade in Toronto, but a lot of the time it is religion. I ended up having a parenting conversation with my brother (no children and newly partnered) and he was asking/telling me about putting Willa on a bottle, getting her a crib, praising her, etc. I just listened and then explained what I planned on doing, and a little bit about how praise can be problematic. The praise part really got him thinking because he had never considered that angle before. It helps that my family is generally open-minded to begin with though.
I encountered the "good girl" thing for the first time at Mike's parents place during our trip. I was surprised because both parents said it CONSTANTLY. I hadn't really thought about it until conversations with you guys about A and your approach, and now that I have Willa I just haven't done it myself. It hasn't even been a conscious decision on my parent, just not something I say. Hearing it coming from Mike's parents constantly though, wow, really got to me. Neither Mike nor I said anything to them while we were there, and nothing to each other about it while we were there either, but once we got home we were both like "did you notice...?" So I think we are going to talk to his parents about it next time we visit if it continues. I'm not sure how they will take it.
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