More Family Developments.
It's been a wild set of hours since about 8pm last night...
I was talking back and forth with Dan on FaceBook since I don't have IMer on Mom's Mac, when all of a sudden he announced his most recent ex had pinged him and wanted to talk. This triggered my whole alarm system, as I have lost my last two boyfriends to returned exes, their overtures starting in a near identical manner to this. Even Dan's attempted reassurance that there's nothing between them anymore and never will be and that he loves me didn't help--the other two claimed that, too, and look what happened. The fact that he was talking to her, and continued to talk to her even though I was flipping out over it (and yes, I mean really flipping out, flashing back to the last two and all that), just set me further off over it. I finally made myself tell him I'd talk to him later, that I was freaking out, and didn't want to go off the deep end, but I just couldn't handle him talking to her while he was talking to me. It didn't help that he was talking to her more than me to catch up, either. He was just trying to be nice to her.
He called me later to check up on me and I had to try to explain to him just why it bothered me so much. It's hard to tell someone the emotional and mental fallout of having this done to you before and, no matter how much I trust him, the sheer volume of worry and confidence and security drain it slammed me with. All of a sudden I felt my position in his life being challenged and that's a terrifying situation to be in. He might not have meant anything by talking to her, and she might not have meant anything by IMing him, but regardless that's how it felt. She's the one who broke things off with him two and a half years ago, and all of a sudden, out of the blue, wants to be friends with him again? She apologizes for how she broke up with him? She wants to know how he's doing? It all raised red flags for me. She's, unintentionally or not, trying to reestablish a connection with him in the event she breaks up with her current boyfriend, so she's got an option with him to fall back on. It's the "one who got away" mentality. There's always that "what if"--it's why so many people take their exes back. "What if" it works this time? "What if" I was wrong breaking up with them?
It bothered me he never took her off his friends list after they broke up (found that out last night; she wouldn't've been able to IM him on FaceBook had he done that). That was innocent oversight on his part--he has over 198 friends on FaceBook...once he adds them he doesn't take them off since he's not on a whole lot and it didn't occur to him something might happen. But he has to be now because of my dead computer and it bit him last night.
I told him I would never consider talking to or keeping communication lines available to my exes. It's not fair to the person I'm with. I don't have their phone numbers, addresses, e-mails, FaceBooks, LiveJournals. Their e-mails are blocked. I used to think you could stay friends with your exes, but it's just not good...Joseph and Robert taught me that the hard way. I asked Dan how he would feel if Joseph suddenly contacted me to chat. Knowing our history, would he feel secure in his position as my boyfriend? He admitted no, probably not. After a lengthy explanation, he took her off his FaceBook list. While I feel horrible about that--it's his FaceBook, his life, I shouldn't crack down on something silly like that--I'm at the same time relieved she can't just contact him whenever she feels like it now.
It shouldn't have bothered me the way it did. It's not fair to him or her. I feel horribly bad about the whole thing. I could barely think straight under all the panic and fear last night because of my own past. I should trust him more than that after nearly two years.
On the other front...
This morning Mom came in to tell me my arrested cousin's older son, the one who's my buddy, got caught stealing three times at school and has been given detention. He's only 7! I've been worried sick something like this would happen given the role models in his life. And now it has. But he's been caught and punished, which is more than happened to his daddy. Maybe this will break him of it. Mom thinks he's doing it hoping he can be with his daddy if he does it enough. He misses my cousin horribly. He needs tons and tons of prayer. Growing up is going to be extremely hard on him. I just hope he doesn't become his daddy. I'm worried sick that will happen.
In other news...
I got an extremely detailed beaded bracelet done yesterday. Learned a lot from the techniques used, though jury's still out on whether or not I like the finished piece. Mom still does, and wants me to make her one in yellow and/or blue. I need to sit down with her to pick the colors.
Cassie has been absolutely nuts this morning. She rip roars around the house at full throttle, running into my room to attack one of her three squeak mice, leaping on the bed, then tearing back out. She's currently passed out on the floor by the parakeet cage (Drift and Nemo keep eyeing her suspiciously, but so far she's ignored them), nose to nose with one of the mice.
I cleaned my fish tank top to bottom last week and it still looks pretty good. It was quite the adventure getting it done, though.
I've kept my room (mostly) clean and straightened from the full clean I did on it last week, too. I don't like a clean room; I feel like I can't get anything out to work. I still need to clean and reorganize my jewelry supplies in my file cabinet and desk out in the main room, but for now that can wait. When I need another serious day to think I'll tackle that project.
I sold the intricate pink illusion necklace I made a couple of weeks ago to the lady who asked me to make her one. I made a couple, but that was the one I took for her to see. She's in my Bible Study. She was absolutely delighted with it and paid me then and there. It's one of the few illusion necklaces I've done I was actually satisfied with. Really glad and relieved she liked it; I was anticipating a long, drawn out, complicated process customizing a piece for her.
I got a little more Dragon-Child done yesterday after I got the bracelet done. Not a lot and it was like pulling teeth, but it's better than nothing. Am currently reading through the rest of what I wrote during NaNoWriMo. I printed it out in December, but still haven't read through it start to finish. Going to try to get the scene I'm working on done in the next couple of days (it brings in two of the last three companions to the group; only the dog, Kosha, will be left to add).
Going to try to do a couple more jewelry projects this week, too. Thinking of another pearl knotted project like the bracelet I made, only instead of teal pearls I have these bright yellow ones from a project I did for Mom and wound up redoing because the yellow was too bright. Think I want to make a choker. It'll be awesome.
Hope everyone is still doing well...this is the only way I can communicate with some of you since my IMer is down. Have a great week.
I was talking back and forth with Dan on FaceBook since I don't have IMer on Mom's Mac, when all of a sudden he announced his most recent ex had pinged him and wanted to talk. This triggered my whole alarm system, as I have lost my last two boyfriends to returned exes, their overtures starting in a near identical manner to this. Even Dan's attempted reassurance that there's nothing between them anymore and never will be and that he loves me didn't help--the other two claimed that, too, and look what happened. The fact that he was talking to her, and continued to talk to her even though I was flipping out over it (and yes, I mean really flipping out, flashing back to the last two and all that), just set me further off over it. I finally made myself tell him I'd talk to him later, that I was freaking out, and didn't want to go off the deep end, but I just couldn't handle him talking to her while he was talking to me. It didn't help that he was talking to her more than me to catch up, either. He was just trying to be nice to her.
He called me later to check up on me and I had to try to explain to him just why it bothered me so much. It's hard to tell someone the emotional and mental fallout of having this done to you before and, no matter how much I trust him, the sheer volume of worry and confidence and security drain it slammed me with. All of a sudden I felt my position in his life being challenged and that's a terrifying situation to be in. He might not have meant anything by talking to her, and she might not have meant anything by IMing him, but regardless that's how it felt. She's the one who broke things off with him two and a half years ago, and all of a sudden, out of the blue, wants to be friends with him again? She apologizes for how she broke up with him? She wants to know how he's doing? It all raised red flags for me. She's, unintentionally or not, trying to reestablish a connection with him in the event she breaks up with her current boyfriend, so she's got an option with him to fall back on. It's the "one who got away" mentality. There's always that "what if"--it's why so many people take their exes back. "What if" it works this time? "What if" I was wrong breaking up with them?
It bothered me he never took her off his friends list after they broke up (found that out last night; she wouldn't've been able to IM him on FaceBook had he done that). That was innocent oversight on his part--he has over 198 friends on FaceBook...once he adds them he doesn't take them off since he's not on a whole lot and it didn't occur to him something might happen. But he has to be now because of my dead computer and it bit him last night.
I told him I would never consider talking to or keeping communication lines available to my exes. It's not fair to the person I'm with. I don't have their phone numbers, addresses, e-mails, FaceBooks, LiveJournals. Their e-mails are blocked. I used to think you could stay friends with your exes, but it's just not good...Joseph and Robert taught me that the hard way. I asked Dan how he would feel if Joseph suddenly contacted me to chat. Knowing our history, would he feel secure in his position as my boyfriend? He admitted no, probably not. After a lengthy explanation, he took her off his FaceBook list. While I feel horrible about that--it's his FaceBook, his life, I shouldn't crack down on something silly like that--I'm at the same time relieved she can't just contact him whenever she feels like it now.
It shouldn't have bothered me the way it did. It's not fair to him or her. I feel horribly bad about the whole thing. I could barely think straight under all the panic and fear last night because of my own past. I should trust him more than that after nearly two years.
On the other front...
This morning Mom came in to tell me my arrested cousin's older son, the one who's my buddy, got caught stealing three times at school and has been given detention. He's only 7! I've been worried sick something like this would happen given the role models in his life. And now it has. But he's been caught and punished, which is more than happened to his daddy. Maybe this will break him of it. Mom thinks he's doing it hoping he can be with his daddy if he does it enough. He misses my cousin horribly. He needs tons and tons of prayer. Growing up is going to be extremely hard on him. I just hope he doesn't become his daddy. I'm worried sick that will happen.
In other news...
I got an extremely detailed beaded bracelet done yesterday. Learned a lot from the techniques used, though jury's still out on whether or not I like the finished piece. Mom still does, and wants me to make her one in yellow and/or blue. I need to sit down with her to pick the colors.
Cassie has been absolutely nuts this morning. She rip roars around the house at full throttle, running into my room to attack one of her three squeak mice, leaping on the bed, then tearing back out. She's currently passed out on the floor by the parakeet cage (Drift and Nemo keep eyeing her suspiciously, but so far she's ignored them), nose to nose with one of the mice.
I cleaned my fish tank top to bottom last week and it still looks pretty good. It was quite the adventure getting it done, though.
I've kept my room (mostly) clean and straightened from the full clean I did on it last week, too. I don't like a clean room; I feel like I can't get anything out to work. I still need to clean and reorganize my jewelry supplies in my file cabinet and desk out in the main room, but for now that can wait. When I need another serious day to think I'll tackle that project.
I sold the intricate pink illusion necklace I made a couple of weeks ago to the lady who asked me to make her one. I made a couple, but that was the one I took for her to see. She's in my Bible Study. She was absolutely delighted with it and paid me then and there. It's one of the few illusion necklaces I've done I was actually satisfied with. Really glad and relieved she liked it; I was anticipating a long, drawn out, complicated process customizing a piece for her.
I got a little more Dragon-Child done yesterday after I got the bracelet done. Not a lot and it was like pulling teeth, but it's better than nothing. Am currently reading through the rest of what I wrote during NaNoWriMo. I printed it out in December, but still haven't read through it start to finish. Going to try to get the scene I'm working on done in the next couple of days (it brings in two of the last three companions to the group; only the dog, Kosha, will be left to add).
Going to try to do a couple more jewelry projects this week, too. Thinking of another pearl knotted project like the bracelet I made, only instead of teal pearls I have these bright yellow ones from a project I did for Mom and wound up redoing because the yellow was too bright. Think I want to make a choker. It'll be awesome.
Hope everyone is still doing well...this is the only way I can communicate with some of you since my IMer is down. Have a great week.