blah. just blah.

Nov 20, 2005 00:51

sometimes just being me is a difficult thing...

i am not used to being "happy" and therefore i overanalyze things to death and freak people out and then become NOT happy.

oh buttercup. i so want this to work. i so desperately want to STAY happy.

i don't want the bottom to fall out...

so why am i inadvertantly self destructing already and destroying something good?

well i guess at least i recognize it and hopefully i won't wreck this.

because i do so adore internet love affairs. :) (i'm half lying and half not)

and you know...it's almost a new year. a year to start over and get shit done and be HAPPY really and truly for the first time in about 5 years.

i think my heart panics when i meet someone splendid...because i am so afraid of being hurt.

yikes.

overanalyzing = bad news bears.

so for now, i'll stop being contemplative and go to bed and dream of boys named morgan.

don't push me away love when i am being silly. force me to be close and face reality and to tell me to stop freaking out. because i am usually freaking out for no reason.

the heart is a lonely hunter for a reason.

and now to bed to bed i said.

<3 me

ps oh kid i just don't know what i am doing sometimes...bear with me still, ok? even though i know you will never see this...just writing it makes me feel better. :)
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