(no subject)
I have been at home sick for days and finally found something to make me giggle today...
Various Unitarian Universalist jokes.
I have been going to services at the UU fellowship lately, which seems like a good fit for my eclectic spiritual background... If anything, I wish there were more of the vibrant under-50 crowd there. Not that I don't appreciate being part of a community that respects elders.
Anyway... I liked these... (most are from http://stoney.sb.org/uujokes.html)
how many uu's does it take to screw in a light bulb?....
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb. During next Sunday's service, we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted; all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence
---
Why are UU congregations so disjoint at hymn singing?
Because they are always reading a few lines ahead to see if they agree with the words.
---
Arguing with a Unitarian Universalist is like mud wrestling a pig. Pretty soon you realize the pig likes it.
---
Conversation overheard:
Person A (Mainstream Protestant Denomination): I hear that you allow all sorts of weirdos in your church. Atheists, Buddhists, Pagans...
Person B (Unitarian Universalist): We allow Christians too -- we're very open minded!
---
A convict on Death Row, the night before his scheduled execution, was visited by the warden. The warden, in talking with the condemned man, said,
"Usually at this point, persons in your situation find great comfort in talking to a member of the clergy. With that in mind, would you like us to send the prison chaplin over for a visit?"
The convict replied, "Well, warden, I have to tell you - I was raised a Unitarian Universalist."
The warden then said, "Well, then, would you like to talk to a math professor?"
--
From the Simpsons:
Bart is playing Billy Graham's Bible Busters in which you zap people and convert them to Christianity. Bart is really getting into the game and after zapping a guy he exclaims "Alright I got him". Ned Flanders' boys reply, "No you just winged him, now he's a Unitarian."
--
Why don't the UUs have church during the summer?
God trusts them.
--
The children in a UU church school class were drawing pictures. The teacher asked one, "What are you drawing a picture of?" "I'm drawing a picture of God," was the reply. But nobody knows what God looks like," objected the teacher. "They will," said the UU child, "when I get my picture done."
Various Unitarian Universalist jokes.
I have been going to services at the UU fellowship lately, which seems like a good fit for my eclectic spiritual background... If anything, I wish there were more of the vibrant under-50 crowd there. Not that I don't appreciate being part of a community that respects elders.
Anyway... I liked these... (most are from http://stoney.sb.org/uujokes.html)
how many uu's does it take to screw in a light bulb?....
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb. During next Sunday's service, we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted; all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence
---
Why are UU congregations so disjoint at hymn singing?
Because they are always reading a few lines ahead to see if they agree with the words.
---
Arguing with a Unitarian Universalist is like mud wrestling a pig. Pretty soon you realize the pig likes it.
---
Conversation overheard:
Person A (Mainstream Protestant Denomination): I hear that you allow all sorts of weirdos in your church. Atheists, Buddhists, Pagans...
Person B (Unitarian Universalist): We allow Christians too -- we're very open minded!
---
A convict on Death Row, the night before his scheduled execution, was visited by the warden. The warden, in talking with the condemned man, said,
"Usually at this point, persons in your situation find great comfort in talking to a member of the clergy. With that in mind, would you like us to send the prison chaplin over for a visit?"
The convict replied, "Well, warden, I have to tell you - I was raised a Unitarian Universalist."
The warden then said, "Well, then, would you like to talk to a math professor?"
--
From the Simpsons:
Bart is playing Billy Graham's Bible Busters in which you zap people and convert them to Christianity. Bart is really getting into the game and after zapping a guy he exclaims "Alright I got him". Ned Flanders' boys reply, "No you just winged him, now he's a Unitarian."
--
Why don't the UUs have church during the summer?
God trusts them.
--
The children in a UU church school class were drawing pictures. The teacher asked one, "What are you drawing a picture of?" "I'm drawing a picture of God," was the reply. But nobody knows what God looks like," objected the teacher. "They will," said the UU child, "when I get my picture done."