22 weeks
The amount of time that I have said what I want to say. The amount of time that I have been away. the amount of time that I have lost who I am and needed some sense of release. I realized today that in 22 weeks I have become a much less independent person than I used to be. I used to not worry about anything, now my life is just stress and woes. I want to be stress free. I want to be independent again. I have to get out what I need to say and this is it. I have missed you LJ (really creepy I know). I found my form of release again so that I can see what is going on in my head without worrying about what happens otherwise. My life has been a lot of good things and a lot of bad things. I have grown and shrunk all the same. I have grown in the fact that I know no one in this strange land that I live in and I am surviving. I have shrunk in the fact that I am not comfortable with who I am. I feel that I always have to have someone there for me to get by with my life when I realize (this entry is more of an epiphany than anything) that I used to be able to get my worries and woes out at the keyboard and not worry about what anyone has to say. I miss those days, I need those back. So here I am typing my soul out trying to figure out why I am so stressed when it comes down to something so simple as a journal. I know it doesn't seem like much, but it makes the world of the difference and for that I am grateful. Grateful and thankful for the opportunities given to me as free. On that note I think I will give anyone interested a little update of my life.
I am now a Guest Services Manager for Disney's Wilderness Lodge. I am loving it. I worked at Disney's Pop Century for about 6 months and then I moved up to be a manager at the resort I wanted to work at, how did that work for me, great. I have met a lot of great people, some still in my life and for that I am thankful. Some out of it, maybe temporarily, hopefully not permanently. I miss everyone dearly though. I miss home. I miss my family, but above all. I miss love. I had it, why did I throw it away. Not to say that I have thrown it away or given up in any way what so ever, its just hard when you miss someone so much. I never realized how good my life was. Don't get me wrong I love what is going on for me right now, just saying I had it made. Why did I have to run away from something so good? I know I am not ready for the commitment that I want the most, but then why do I want it so much? Oh well that will be the topic of discussion on the next episode. Thank you all for reading this and ruining your lives with my complaining and ranting I just needed to get this out. You know..
Peace!
I am now a Guest Services Manager for Disney's Wilderness Lodge. I am loving it. I worked at Disney's Pop Century for about 6 months and then I moved up to be a manager at the resort I wanted to work at, how did that work for me, great. I have met a lot of great people, some still in my life and for that I am thankful. Some out of it, maybe temporarily, hopefully not permanently. I miss everyone dearly though. I miss home. I miss my family, but above all. I miss love. I had it, why did I throw it away. Not to say that I have thrown it away or given up in any way what so ever, its just hard when you miss someone so much. I never realized how good my life was. Don't get me wrong I love what is going on for me right now, just saying I had it made. Why did I have to run away from something so good? I know I am not ready for the commitment that I want the most, but then why do I want it so much? Oh well that will be the topic of discussion on the next episode. Thank you all for reading this and ruining your lives with my complaining and ranting I just needed to get this out. You know..
Peace!