Life is no more than an abstract nightmare
Today has been a weird day...
and it's nowhere near being over.
Last night I dreamt that I killed myself.
I was sitting in my bath tub, really depressed, and had written letters to a few that I really care about.
I wrote one to Ashley... Bernie... my sister... I had written a poem to my parents. Basically a suicide letter. There was a mail box in my bathroom so I mailed the letters.
Then I slit my wrist and watched the water turn crimson.
One would think that because of this dream I would have woken up depressed... scared... something. Something other than how I did wake. I awoke in one of those moods... those moods where you question what is real. Is this really reality? This person that's standing here talking to me, are they really? Am I imagining everything?
Am I really typing these words?
When I got home today I sat in my room reading for a little bit, but it was hard to focus. So, in an attempt to quite my mind and perhaps re-enter reality, or at least my reality, I went and sat down at the computer. I figured this way I could keep my mind busy. But alas, it did not work. I think if anything it put me in an even weirder mood. I spent the last hour or so looking up strange quotes and weird stories. I came across some very interesting quotes, though. Quotes that make you think. We all know I'm a sucker for quotes...
"We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell." - Oscar Wilde
"Through clever and constant application of propaganda, people can be made to see paradise as hell, and also the other way round, to consider the most wretched sort of life as paradise." - Adolf Hitler
"Hell is paved with good intentions, not bad ones." - George Bernard Shaw
"There are worlds beneath your feet, lurkers behind the stairs, and shapes that wait just the other side of boarded doorways, which you have only glimpsed in your dreams." - Tad Williams
"Death is the only inescapable, unavoidable, sure thing. We are sentenced to die the day we're born." - Gary Mark Gilmore
"It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways." - Buddha
"We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe." - Johann von Goethe
- Edgar Allan Poe -
"The boundaries between life and death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where one ends and where the other begins?"
"All that we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream."
"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity."
"Science has not yet taught us if madness is or is not the sublimity of the intelligence."
"The pioneers and missionaries of religion have been the real cause of more trouble and war than all other classes of mankind."
and it's nowhere near being over.
Last night I dreamt that I killed myself.
I was sitting in my bath tub, really depressed, and had written letters to a few that I really care about.
I wrote one to Ashley... Bernie... my sister... I had written a poem to my parents. Basically a suicide letter. There was a mail box in my bathroom so I mailed the letters.
Then I slit my wrist and watched the water turn crimson.
One would think that because of this dream I would have woken up depressed... scared... something. Something other than how I did wake. I awoke in one of those moods... those moods where you question what is real. Is this really reality? This person that's standing here talking to me, are they really? Am I imagining everything?
Am I really typing these words?
When I got home today I sat in my room reading for a little bit, but it was hard to focus. So, in an attempt to quite my mind and perhaps re-enter reality, or at least my reality, I went and sat down at the computer. I figured this way I could keep my mind busy. But alas, it did not work. I think if anything it put me in an even weirder mood. I spent the last hour or so looking up strange quotes and weird stories. I came across some very interesting quotes, though. Quotes that make you think. We all know I'm a sucker for quotes...
"We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell." - Oscar Wilde
"Through clever and constant application of propaganda, people can be made to see paradise as hell, and also the other way round, to consider the most wretched sort of life as paradise." - Adolf Hitler
"Hell is paved with good intentions, not bad ones." - George Bernard Shaw
"There are worlds beneath your feet, lurkers behind the stairs, and shapes that wait just the other side of boarded doorways, which you have only glimpsed in your dreams." - Tad Williams
"Death is the only inescapable, unavoidable, sure thing. We are sentenced to die the day we're born." - Gary Mark Gilmore
"It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways." - Buddha
"We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe." - Johann von Goethe
- Edgar Allan Poe -
"The boundaries between life and death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where one ends and where the other begins?"
"All that we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream."
"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity."
"Science has not yet taught us if madness is or is not the sublimity of the intelligence."
"The pioneers and missionaries of religion have been the real cause of more trouble and war than all other classes of mankind."