Thinking about past relationships + five in the morning = this. Sorry.
Maybe growing up is just fully realizing the persona of who you want to be, and then stepping into that skin.
Chicago is a place I chose for myself. Is that why I love it so much? My friends are beautiful people. I have awesome roommates, including a cat named Nymphadora Tonks and a bunny named Mr. Tumnus. I've stumbled onto something I love doing more than anything I've loved doing before- and I'm actually good at it!
Once I understood how terrible it is to feel regret toward other people, I started trying to avoid that happening. It's working, but I can't shake all the old stuff.
And okay, after I wrote that I realized I don't know what I meant just then by 'working.' For the first time, I trust the people around me. I just don't trust myself enough not to run away the second I get bogged down. That's where the regret always comes in; it's the unfinished stuff.
I've also been thinking that no place will be home without my dad. But filmmaking is a part of me now, too.
I don't want to be the kind of person who runs away from things - or people. Especially when facing them can make things even better than I could imagine. I think I can step into that skin and make it mine. I've started to already.
And since this entry is super intense, I'll end with a list of things that will make you feel better for knowing:
- Tummy the Bunny chewed my cell phone charger in half.
- Even though blending a banana into something may not make it healthier, it definitely makes it taste better.
- I'm making it my mission to swim in Lake Michigan before this summer is over.
- How I Met Your Mother has met my approval.
- One of the realtors I talked to told me to bring a knife for the trip to Hyde Park.
- My evil manager (the one who's like Michael Scott only soul-less and unfunny) asked me if I didn't wear appropriate shoes to work because I didn't like him.
Chicago is a place I chose for myself. Is that why I love it so much? My friends are beautiful people. I have awesome roommates, including a cat named Nymphadora Tonks and a bunny named Mr. Tumnus. I've stumbled onto something I love doing more than anything I've loved doing before- and I'm actually good at it!
Once I understood how terrible it is to feel regret toward other people, I started trying to avoid that happening. It's working, but I can't shake all the old stuff.
And okay, after I wrote that I realized I don't know what I meant just then by 'working.' For the first time, I trust the people around me. I just don't trust myself enough not to run away the second I get bogged down. That's where the regret always comes in; it's the unfinished stuff.
I've also been thinking that no place will be home without my dad. But filmmaking is a part of me now, too.
I don't want to be the kind of person who runs away from things - or people. Especially when facing them can make things even better than I could imagine. I think I can step into that skin and make it mine. I've started to already.
And since this entry is super intense, I'll end with a list of things that will make you feel better for knowing:
- Tummy the Bunny chewed my cell phone charger in half.
- Even though blending a banana into something may not make it healthier, it definitely makes it taste better.
- I'm making it my mission to swim in Lake Michigan before this summer is over.
- How I Met Your Mother has met my approval.
- One of the realtors I talked to told me to bring a knife for the trip to Hyde Park.
- My evil manager (the one who's like Michael Scott only soul-less and unfunny) asked me if I didn't wear appropriate shoes to work because I didn't like him.