Iron Man, or: How Robert Downey Jr. Kicked Tobey Maguire In the Groin
I just saw Iron Man.
You should see it, too.
After you do, take a look at my GIANT, SPOILER-SOAKED SQEE-FEST OF A REVIEW!
-
Okay. Wow.
I didn't even want to see Iron Man.
I'm so very, very glad that I did.
-
Squee:
1. Robert Downey Jr. is fine. And when I say 'fine,' I don't mean 'acceptable,' or 'nice.' I mean completely, unabashedly talented and hot. His charisma oozes off of the screen. Think of what Johnny Depp did for 'Pirates of the Caribbean.' That's what Mr. Downey did for 'Iron Man.' His energy and wit are the heart of the movie. Guh.
2. Ms. Paltrow was quite cute. Her scenes with Downey are some of the best in the movie.
3. The special effects were, with a few exceptions, exactly what they should have been. I got butterflies in my stomach when the battle suit took off into the sky. It felt so real, as did Tony's training session. The Jericho missile was also disconcertingly realistic.
4. The movie's wit was surprisingly understated and dry. It was refreshing.
5. Downey's eyelashes. They were beautiful.
6. The tech was convincing.
7. I almost cried in some parts. Really.
-
Not Squee:
1. The villain was a tad hackneyed. He was saddled with the few bad lines in the movie.
2. The scene of revenge against the terrorists made me itch, and I don't know why. It felt off.
3. PEPPER AND TONY SHOULD HAVE KISSED! AND THEN CUDDLED! PLEASE LET THERE BE A SEQUEL WITH PEPPER AND TONY CUDDLING!
-
Misc:
- I particularly enjoyed when Tony and Pepper danced. I don't think I've ever seen a scene in a movie where the romantic interaction felt so natural. This is going to sound completely ridiculous, but hear me out- Downey's eyes made it work. I know it's crazy, but the way he looked at Paltrow and was just swaying back and forth.... I don't know. It made the scene.
- So much better than Spiderman.
- Best. Ending. Line. Ever.
-
Check this --->
In conclusion:
GO SEE IRON MAN. GO SEE IT NOW. FRIENDS IN CANADA: IF IT'S NOT OUT YET, SEE IT WHEN IT IS! YOU WILL NOT BE SORRY!
That is all.
You should see it, too.
After you do, take a look at my GIANT, SPOILER-SOAKED SQEE-FEST OF A REVIEW!
-
Okay. Wow.
I didn't even want to see Iron Man.
I'm so very, very glad that I did.
-
Squee:
1. Robert Downey Jr. is fine. And when I say 'fine,' I don't mean 'acceptable,' or 'nice.' I mean completely, unabashedly talented and hot. His charisma oozes off of the screen. Think of what Johnny Depp did for 'Pirates of the Caribbean.' That's what Mr. Downey did for 'Iron Man.' His energy and wit are the heart of the movie. Guh.
2. Ms. Paltrow was quite cute. Her scenes with Downey are some of the best in the movie.
3. The special effects were, with a few exceptions, exactly what they should have been. I got butterflies in my stomach when the battle suit took off into the sky. It felt so real, as did Tony's training session. The Jericho missile was also disconcertingly realistic.
4. The movie's wit was surprisingly understated and dry. It was refreshing.
5. Downey's eyelashes. They were beautiful.
6. The tech was convincing.
7. I almost cried in some parts. Really.
-
Not Squee:
1. The villain was a tad hackneyed. He was saddled with the few bad lines in the movie.
2. The scene of revenge against the terrorists made me itch, and I don't know why. It felt off.
3. PEPPER AND TONY SHOULD HAVE KISSED! AND THEN CUDDLED! PLEASE LET THERE BE A SEQUEL WITH PEPPER AND TONY CUDDLING!
-
Misc:
- I particularly enjoyed when Tony and Pepper danced. I don't think I've ever seen a scene in a movie where the romantic interaction felt so natural. This is going to sound completely ridiculous, but hear me out- Downey's eyes made it work. I know it's crazy, but the way he looked at Paltrow and was just swaying back and forth.... I don't know. It made the scene.
- So much better than Spiderman.
- Best. Ending. Line. Ever.
-
Check this --->
In conclusion:
GO SEE IRON MAN. GO SEE IT NOW. FRIENDS IN CANADA: IF IT'S NOT OUT YET, SEE IT WHEN IT IS! YOU WILL NOT BE SORRY!
That is all.