my lap is burning
laptops get hot. i've been sitting here working on a paper for the past three hours. the topic is place. a place that feels like home. i'm writing about the japan america theatre stage. and its the most random paper i've ever written. it's weird. i can't decide if i really like it because it's weird. or if it sucks.
anywayz, i'm just pumped like no other because my first astronomy midterm is fucking over. i've been studying like mad the past few nights. too busy. monday was class, work, audition, hula, bauhaus, bedroom floor studying. tuesday was class, nap, taiko, cafe zoka, bedroom floor studying. yesterday was class, work, taiko, parents house studying, bedroom floor studying. sleep at 4, up at 7. 6 different alarms to get my ass out of bed. hell yes its freakin over. i hate the solar system. though i did begin to like it more once things actually started making sense. i guess some things are kinda cool.
so on friday night, eric called in the middle of my lj update and we ended up talking until 830 in the morning. toooo fun. a satisfying conversation like that just makes ya feel so damn good. almost better than sex. especially when that's an occassional topic of the convo. as well as potatoes and taiko. the good things in life.
got up for queen practice, taiko practice, dinner with the family. came home for a nap, then caught up with mich on the phone for hours... guess it's been catch-up these past few weeks. it was so great to talk with mich. when i heard her voice it was shocking how foreign it sounded to me. we talked a lot about taiko as well... about my options for after graduation. i know exactly what i want to do, if everything works out the way i hope it does. i haven't been that expressive about it yet. a lot can change in the next year. who knows how i'll feel after a few months.
i'm totally going through a y phase. i recently committed to performing in l.a. this summer with tp. its going to be so extremely different and nothing at all like it was before, but i am definitely excited to play omiyage, to play asano drums, to play with all of them. y said we have to make sure he gets to kiss my cheeks before we go on that stage. it literally made my eyes water. too many special memories. memories of y, special backstage/offstage times together, the circle & hugs right before showtime, the hugs before our part in omiyage. being lifted into the air.
so last night at practice j couldn't remember my song kage for the life of him. i had revised it right before the concert last year, right before he left for japan. guess he can't remember anything that wasn't around for that long before he left. if it didn't have time to sink in, it just went in one ear and out the other. sound familiar? fuck that shittttttttttt. i was gonna punk him on it at practice when he was complaining to me about how he can't figure out why he can't remember it. but i used my better judgement and bit my tongue. god i hate you.
talking shit out is so much better than talking shit to someone else. i wish t could figure that out. cuz it's so damn draining listening to all of her bitching. i'm sooooooo freakin sick of it. i must find special tactics to stay sane over the next few weeks leading up to the concert. a lot of things i want to have established by then. i've opened the lines of communication w/ lya and jay and feel so much better about those relationships. and i do want to have a talk with j. i want to be able to trust him off stage so i can trust him on stage. want to get to know sean better, and i want to stop being mad at him for being a flake. i want to t to actually try in my song and make compromises for it and keep her word. i want to be able to trust her. so much to do. so little time. like always.
i am so looking forward to grocery shopping, cooking something yummy for dinner, working out, doing something fun tonight, and getting enough sleep. i deserve it. and nihongo is cancelled for tomorrow! yay!
anywayz, i'm just pumped like no other because my first astronomy midterm is fucking over. i've been studying like mad the past few nights. too busy. monday was class, work, audition, hula, bauhaus, bedroom floor studying. tuesday was class, nap, taiko, cafe zoka, bedroom floor studying. yesterday was class, work, taiko, parents house studying, bedroom floor studying. sleep at 4, up at 7. 6 different alarms to get my ass out of bed. hell yes its freakin over. i hate the solar system. though i did begin to like it more once things actually started making sense. i guess some things are kinda cool.
so on friday night, eric called in the middle of my lj update and we ended up talking until 830 in the morning. toooo fun. a satisfying conversation like that just makes ya feel so damn good. almost better than sex. especially when that's an occassional topic of the convo. as well as potatoes and taiko. the good things in life.
got up for queen practice, taiko practice, dinner with the family. came home for a nap, then caught up with mich on the phone for hours... guess it's been catch-up these past few weeks. it was so great to talk with mich. when i heard her voice it was shocking how foreign it sounded to me. we talked a lot about taiko as well... about my options for after graduation. i know exactly what i want to do, if everything works out the way i hope it does. i haven't been that expressive about it yet. a lot can change in the next year. who knows how i'll feel after a few months.
i'm totally going through a y phase. i recently committed to performing in l.a. this summer with tp. its going to be so extremely different and nothing at all like it was before, but i am definitely excited to play omiyage, to play asano drums, to play with all of them. y said we have to make sure he gets to kiss my cheeks before we go on that stage. it literally made my eyes water. too many special memories. memories of y, special backstage/offstage times together, the circle & hugs right before showtime, the hugs before our part in omiyage. being lifted into the air.
so last night at practice j couldn't remember my song kage for the life of him. i had revised it right before the concert last year, right before he left for japan. guess he can't remember anything that wasn't around for that long before he left. if it didn't have time to sink in, it just went in one ear and out the other. sound familiar? fuck that shittttttttttt. i was gonna punk him on it at practice when he was complaining to me about how he can't figure out why he can't remember it. but i used my better judgement and bit my tongue. god i hate you.
talking shit out is so much better than talking shit to someone else. i wish t could figure that out. cuz it's so damn draining listening to all of her bitching. i'm sooooooo freakin sick of it. i must find special tactics to stay sane over the next few weeks leading up to the concert. a lot of things i want to have established by then. i've opened the lines of communication w/ lya and jay and feel so much better about those relationships. and i do want to have a talk with j. i want to be able to trust him off stage so i can trust him on stage. want to get to know sean better, and i want to stop being mad at him for being a flake. i want to t to actually try in my song and make compromises for it and keep her word. i want to be able to trust her. so much to do. so little time. like always.
i am so looking forward to grocery shopping, cooking something yummy for dinner, working out, doing something fun tonight, and getting enough sleep. i deserve it. and nihongo is cancelled for tomorrow! yay!