All About My Ex - Chapter 2
TITLE: All About My Ex
Disclaimer: I don’t own the people in this fic. This is just for fun and no money is made from this.
Chapter 2
“What is life?” I said to myself and regretted it immediately after, when a huge headache broke through my morning fogginess. The pain was so blinding that even the thought of blinking was painful… I groaned to myself and just stayed there contemplating the universe, wishing I haven’t had drinks last night… Especially when the silliest dream have come out of it… For real, not in a million years… Not even in at trillion years Yonghwa will move right into my building and even worse! Right to the apartment across the hall. ‘No way in hell’ that was a possibility. No. Not at all… ‘hahahhahaha’ I laughed to myself in my head, since I was too afraid to make the noise… The pain inside my head was real…
Once the world stopped spinning and hurting a little, I grabbed enough strength to crawl out of bed and find my way into the bathroom. “Ok, you got this far Seohyun you can do it!” I said to myself as I washed my face and relieved myself. After those two motions life was better, but today was Friday, I had to be in the station for my last transmission of the week at 2 o’clock to prepare the broadcast… I was going on air from 4 to 6 in the afternoon and I better gather myself together, before my boss chops my head off from going hangover to work.
I walked to the living room to check the time and then it’s when I noticed my keys on the floor. Strange, no matter how drunk I’m, I always put them in the same place… The little desk by the door. I looked to the hall and noticed a wand and then a box, I walked slowly closer to the items… Something was nagging me at the back of my head… I picked the wand and then realized the box was the Harry Potter Special Edition Box Set I bought yesterday… “How on earth, did I do this to this beautiful box!?” I asked to myself as I checked the damage… “Why would I…”
Then a sinking feeling downed on me, I had a sudden flashback of Yonghwa at my door, telling me he was moving across the hall… ‘No way in hell’ I said to myself as I rushed to stand up. Too bad, I remembered a little too late my headache… I grabbed my spinning head and walked to the medicine cabinet… One thing at a time, first, I need to address this massive headache.
And as my luck was going, the cherry on top, was that I was out of hangover medicine… Just when the thought of living inside my home for the rest of my life was getting more appealing, I have to go out to buy medicine… Just the thought of crossing paths with Yonghwa had me sweating already. ‘I don’t want to see him...’ I said to myself as I pressed my hands together to calm myself.
But there was nothing I could do… I walked to my room to get out of the dress I was wearing since yesterday. I put on my favorite black exercise baggy pants and a grey hoody. I walked back to the living room looking for my purse, It was nowhere to be found… And after a lot of painful thinking I realized Yonghwa was grabbing my purse when I was smashing my door in his face…
“Just great…” I groaned to myself defeated… I needed money to buy medicines… But I didn’t want to talk to him… Ever again… So I decided I will procrastinate against this meeting and went to get my emergency money, which was stashed in a secret compartment in my night stand. “So happy I’m so psycho about been ready for emergencies!” I said to myself and I jumped… And my brain jumped with me and then I was bending over cursing my stupidity… “Keep calm Seohyun, just keep calm…” I took several deep breathes and walked to the front door.
I stayed there just looking at it for ten whole minutes… I didn’t want to go out and find him standing there… So I decided to do like they did in movies, I pressed my ear to the door and listened for five minutes… Not even a bee could be heard… Then I remembered I actually had a peephole installed in my door and proceeded to use it, like it was supposed to be used. To stalk the people on the other side.
I looked… The hall was empty… This was my chance and before I regretted it more, I opened the door very very very slowly not making a single noise, I rushed out and turned to close it as slowly as I opened it. Not wanting to alert my neighbor that I was here… Outside my apartment. I congratulate myself for a job well done (very silently), turned around to be on my way and that is when I found Yonghwa walking in my direction.
“Eckkkkk” I screamed as I turned around to face my door. I couldn’t look at him… No way in hell. The part of my brain that was in charge of scanning good looking men in less than two seconds, took out several pointers. Like he was wearing running shorts not too long not too short, just enough to show those great legs of his. His white shirt was totally dripped in sweat, giving a clear shape of his magnificent wide chest… And his hair, ‘Oh My God his hair’ Lord have mercy but this man looks at his best when sweaty, especially with his hair whipped back.
"Good Morning Seohyun" I heard him say and I almost jumped out of my skin again. But I forced myself to stay calm.
"Hi!" I answered back in a high pitched tone, there goes my ‘stay calm’ façade. For real what was wrong with me.
"Going out for some exercise?" he asked, probably my clothing having something to do with that question.
"Uhmmm... Not really" I said quietly as I firmly planted the hood over my head and half turned to look at him. I didn’t want him to see my head looking like a nest of bees. ‘Why?! Oh Why?! I didn’t brush my hair this morning!!! Gahhhhhh!!!’
I watched him, looking at me for long moment... The silence getting unbearable until I had to move (Because I was getting the cramps, you know?) and then he smiled. Yes, you are reading it right he smiled at me, one of his sweet smiles that always ended up melting me from the inside out (Bastard) "I thought you wouldn’t be feeling well today, so I got you some medicine on my way back from my run"
‘No he didn’t!’ I looked at the brown paper package in his hand and then at him. 'WHY HE HAS TO DO THIS TO ME! WHY?!!!!!!!' I literally was pulling my hairs inside my head as I said "Oh, thank you" as calm as I could. "How much I own you?" ‘WHY HE HAS TO BE SO NICE?!!!’ (Le cries in the corner).
"Don’t worry, they are on me... I feel sorry about your books" 'He is just nice to everyone, he is just nice to everyone' I keep repeating to myself, to get myself together.
An awkward silence fell on us as we just looked at each other. My stomach was churning in weird ways, I just wanted to get away from his presence. "Well, see you around" I said as I turn to get inside my apartment.
"Seohyun..." he said quietly and all the hairs in my body stood in attention.
I turned slowly to look at him and swallowed hard before I asked "Yes?"
"You forgot your purse last night" and then he smiled again. That cheeky grin of him, that knew when I was been silly and stupid… And just too over the top for my own good.
‘Bastard’
‘Bastard’
‘Bastard’
I took a deep breath and said calmly "Oh, right. Can I have it back?"
He nodded and I watched in silence as he got his keys out of his pocket and opened his apartment door. Once he disappeared inside I began to quietly smack my head with my open palm. “Stupid Seohyun!” I whispered under my breath as I repeated the process several times.
“Are you ok?” I heard him ask and this time I actually jumped. “I didn’t mean to scare you” he said as he walked closer, extending his hand to hold my arm… I knew it was a natural movement out of concern but it was like lightening have struck me right where he touched me.
As discreetly as I could I stepped out of his grasp. “Yes, It’s just this headache, it’s driving me crazy” ‘More like you are driving me crazy, but he didn’t have to know that…’ I looked down and found my purse in his hand. “Oh, can I have my purse back”
“Sorry” he said as he handed it to me. He looked at me for a long while and then said “Actually your cellphone kept ringing all right. It was not my intention to prey in your stuff, but it was driving me crazy and I had to put it in silence.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry!!!” I said as I looked for my phone inside my purse. I unlocked it and found a bunch of missed calls from the professor from the library. Thank God I have it saved under his real name and not some kind of silly acronyms (Like I usually do) like H.P.F.L = Hot Professor From Library… Now why this man was calling when I clearly said this was not going to work… Uhmmm
I must have made some kind of face because Yonghwa actually asked “Is he bothering you?”
‘Was he jealous?… Nahhh It must be my wishful thinking…' Since he have all those pictures having fun with girls in the big apple… Why should I be worried about him been jealous… "No, we went out a few times but it didn’t work"
‘We were exes we could talk about this stuff… the deep stuff’ I said to myself as I gathered my courage to look at him. He was amused. Go figure what that meant. “Well, anything you need I'm just across the hall... Neighbor" He said as he waived and turned to enter his apartment.
"Same here" I said impulsively at the last moment. 'Why would I said that?!!!’ I wanted to smack myself in the head.
I hurriedly turned around and entered my apartment and continued with my daily routine, pretending my ex was not living across the hall. I took the medicine and slept a couple of hours more, I woke up refreshed. I cleaned the house and went to the office like nothing was wrong… Until I parked again in my building is parking lot and remembered I had to walk down the lobby, up the stairs and down my hall in the fourth floor… All those moments making it possible for me to cross path with ‘he who must not be named’… a.k.a. My EX… ‘What is life?’...
I was actually contemplating the idea of living in my car, when my gossipy neighbor from floor 3 walked to her car, parked next to mine. If I didn’t want to validate her idea that I was crazy, I was better off walking to my apartment, than sleeping in it for the night. “Hello” I said as I stepped out.
“Oh, Seohyun, long time no see you! How are things going?” And before I could even open my mouth to answer her first question she was asking again. “Such a hunk your new neighbor?... Hu!… And a darling too!” she said sighing wishfully. “I returned from the supermarket a moment ago and I was struggling with my packages and he offered to help me… Carried them like they weighed nothing… His arms are so… Sigh… I’m so happy with this new neighbor…” She said as she turned to look at me. The only thought I had was that Yonghwa was ‘New meat for the slaughter house’ that was this complex full of single women in their twenties and thirties....
“Yes, I crossed paths with him yesterday” I said calmly. “He actually helped me with a box I was carrying too.” ‘Ha! See you are not special woman he helps everyone… Bastard’
“Oh well” said the woman from floor 3, moving her hands in a dismissive way. “I shall thank him properly…” And the innuendo after that ‘properly’ wasn’t lost to me. “Well, it was nice seen you Seohyun” she said as she walked to her car. “It’s Friday and the night is calling me… TaTa!”
For someone in her mid-forties my neighbor was the envy of the building. But what she hated the most was been called Mrs. … So I did it without mercy. “Have fun Mrs. Yoo! TaTa”
I was grinning to myself all the way up to my floor as the mutters of Mrs. Yoo could be heard in the distance. But once I reached the landing of the fourth floor my smile disappeared. I actually put my back against the wall and plucked my head out to see who was there. ‘He who must not be named‘ was messing with my nerves so bad.
Once I realized the coast was free, I ran to my apartment door, opened the door super-fast and closed it as quietly as I could. ‘Thank God’ I thought to myself as all this unnecessary stress was bad for my health. So I decided this Friday will be dedicated to some me time. And then some needed sleep.
I filled the tub, turned on some scented candles, put on some relaxing music, a glass of wine and life was instantly better as I submerged in the warm water of the tub. After the glass of wine was over and the water turned from warm to tepid, I decided it was time to step out, I took the opportunity to wash my hair and rinsed away all my problems. I was actually happier when I put on my big pajamas and brushed my hair.
I sighed as I lay down in bed and put the warm covers over my body. This was heaven.
I grabbed my kindle and began to read a romance novel I have been meaning to finish a long while ago… But then the book reached the sexy part and I was a little turned on… And maybe because I decided it was a good way to lose some more stress, I began to take care of myself, my hand reaching for places I liked. I was actually very inspired, getting in the high rail to heaven when I heard someone knocking on my door… I was tempted to ignore the knocking, but it was so annoying that my train to heaven derailed mid-way and I huffed and jumped out of bed, stomping all the way to the front door.
I opened it too hard, the door smashing against the wall as I said “Yes?” My mouth hanging open as I watched Yonghwa standing in front of me. He was wearing dark jeans, a white shirt with a few buttons left open, his sleeve rolled to his mid arms. My mouth actually watered… He always looked so dam good in jeans and white shirt… I always told him, I liked it the best when he dressed like that… “Oh, Hi!” I managed to squeak out.
"Seohyun I'm having a comeback party with the guys and I thought you would like to join us and said hi to them" he said smiling, giving a quick once over at my huge pajama.
Before I could answer the door to his apartment opened and standing there was Jonghyun (Yonghwa is best friend in all the world) saying "I will get more ice…"
'No way in hell, I will be in the same place as his friend... After the way I dumped him!!! They hated me!’ Luckily Jonghyun was not paying attention to them and just ran down the hall to the elevator. I needed to think something fast… Anything will be good… ‘ANYTHING!!! THINK SEOHYUN!!! THINK!!!’ “Uhmmm I'm actually going out" I said out of desperation, while I was smacking myself against an imaginary wall in my head. "Yes! I have a date... and I was just going to blow dry my hair... Maybe next time?"
"Ok, then. Maybe next time…” He said smiling and I wanted to tell him I was lying, that I was crazy, that he should be moving out because I was here first and it was not fair that I was the one that will have to move out, because of him… Or more because I didn’t know how to handle my feelings about him…
“Have fun" I said as again I closed the door on his face. I pulled at my hair for real this time and rushed to the bathroom to dry my hair and put on the hot rollers, to make my hair wavy. Next I was looking for my most skimpy red dress. There will be not much distance between me and a real hooker looking for a client... But that was not the point. The point was to get out of my home dressed to kill and Yonghwa be witness of it. He had to know I have a life, that I not spend my Friday nights reading books and masturbating myself because I was unable to have a normal relationship after him.
So now with a new resolution I put on my make-up, super high heels, grabbed my purse and keys, walked to my door my back straight and… Waited behind the door… And waited some more… And then waited some more looking through the peephole… Waiting for the right moment to step out… Just when Yonghwa could see me in all my glory... And no, this was not the moment to ask myself why I was doing this.
Then the moment was here.
A big group arrived and Yonghwa stepped out to greet them, when the last two people were entering I opened the door with a bang... Literally, because I had pulled the door too hard and it had smashed against the wall. I cringed to myself and then looked up just to find Yonghwa giving me a once over with a real intense gaze.
My heart beat accelerated and I stood straighter. "I'm sorry. I'm in a hurry" I said as I rushed out and closed the door.
I walked down the hall hurriedly, too embarrassed from my stupidity... ‘What I was expecting of this spectacle of myself?’ I asked to myself, cringing inwardly... I was actually reprimanding myself quietly as I waited for the elevator when I heard someone approaching "Seohyun..." he said again in that quietly breathless, shivery way he had to speak when he wanted to play the seduction game. I actually had to hold at bay a shiver as I turned to look at him. "You dropped your keys"
‘There goes all the excitement of the moment’ I thought to myself as I said "Oh" Disappointed as I extended my hand to remove the keys from his open palm… But then he closed his fingers and my hand was trapped in his warm hand.
I looked up, just to find that too intense gaze, I knew so much, trained on me "You are gorgeous Seohyun, however is dating you is a lucky man, not the other way around... Because I think you deserve the very best… We never spoked again after our breakup, but after all this years, I just want you to know that I want you to be happy. You deserve it Seohyun…”
My heart logged in my throat.
'WHY DID I DUMPED THIS MAN?’ I screamed in my head as I just stood there speechless. He let go of my hand and walked away, without turning back. I gathered the little pried I have left and turned around and got into the elevator.
I drove around the city without a clear direction and ended up eating noodles and drinking a bottle of soju in a side road stall. People were looking at me funny, because I was overly dressed, but I didn’t car… Once near three in the morning I decided it was time to get back. There was music coming from his apartment still, but I quietly entered my apartment and walked straight to bed.
The next day, I felt so bad, that I stayed all day in bed… I was a horrible person… Horrible. By midafternoon I decided I couldn’t stay like this forever and crawled out of bed to prepare some food… I opened the sink tap and the stupid noise was there again. Even that was annoying in my current state.
The tap have been doing a shocking noise for the last two weeks, but every day I forgot to call the plumber… The annoyance reached such a high level that I ended hitting the tap to make it quiet… It was a huge mistake... The thing blew up and water emerged like a fountain. I screamed almost shocking with the amount of water falling on me from above as the water hit the ceiling.
I hurried away and almost felt down. I grabbed the counter for balance and stood still trying to thing what to do. I rushed to look under the sink and found the main faucet for the sink. I tried to turn it off, but it was too hard maybe even rusted… I rushed to get my hammer out of my tool box and came back to smash the think to make it turn… Too bad I put too much force, because the thing came apart and now was raining water from above and from below the sink.
I wanted to cry, but more important was to save the furniture, so I rushed to get all the towels I had and spread them in the kitchen entrance so the water will stay just there. Once that was controlled (for now), I looked for the main water faucet for the apartment. It was beside the washing machine. I tried to turn it but it wouldn’t budge… I was thinking about using the hammer, but thinking back to how that idea had ended... So in the end, I did the stupid, but right thing to do and rushed to the front door. I opened it… Then hesitated just a moment… Then took two steps forward and stopped again… Just outside Yonghwa is door.
I put my hand up to knock but then I moved it back… I repeated the movement and only in the third time I got the courage to knock and say "Yonghwa…" I knocked harder "Yonghwa!!!" but there was no answer.
I knocked again and someone behind me said "Seohyun something wrong?"
I turned hurriedly relieved to see Yonghwa "Yonghwa!" I said, but the rest of the words died on me when I saw the woman behind him.
I saw him looking down at my current state... wearing my pajama shorts, with a big shirt totally soaked in water and barefoot.... I must be a sight beside the elegant woman behind him.
"Is something wrong?" he asked again.
"Nothing" I said hurriedly "I don’t want to interrupt your date... I will get the concierge... Sorry"
I walked down the hall without looking back, my back straight as I walked down the stairs to look for the concierge in his office… Too bad he was out for the weekend already…
I walked back to my apartment worried about my furniture and my carpet… Totally putting… More like forcing the image of that woman beside Yonghwa to the back of my mind.
Too bad that when I reached my hall, he was saying good bye to the woman in his door. The woman walks beside me without looking at me and then Yonghwa steps into my path and ask again “Do you need help?”
“No” I said clearly and with something like silly pride. Without giving him a second look I walked to my apartment closing the door behind me.
I was so determined to fix this problem with my own two hands that I was even considering smashing the main faucet for the apartment if necessary… When suddenly I took a wrong step on the wet floor “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” I screamed with all the air in my lungs as I felt back and hit my head in the floor.
In the distance I heard a loud bang and then Yonghwa was right beside me. “Are you ok?”
"I think so" I said as I stood up in the mini pool that was my kitchen now.
"Let me help you" he said seriously. And I resigned myself… I explained to him that I couldn’t close the main faucet and without much effort he managed to close it in one go. I sat down in a kitchen stool and looked at the mess as I massaged the back of my head. That hit was going to left an awful lump in my head. "Do you want to go to the doctor?"
"It won’t be necessary, I will be fine" I said stubbornly.
Soon he was removing his jacket and rolling his jeans up. "What are you doing?" I asked.
"I will help you clean" Without any word he just reached for the mop and began to gather the water.
Silently I went for the towels and squeezed them dry on the sink. Just to put them back on the floor again and repeat the process.
We worked in silence very efficiently.
Once most of the water was gone, I walked to the balcony and opened the doors to help dry the floor. I stood in the balcony, feeling the warm summer breeze on my body, when Yonghwa walked closer and said "You shouldn’t be there…"
"Why not?" I asked as I lifted my face to the sun.
I felt him walk closer his mouth resting very close to my ear as he said "You are not wearing a bra and that shirt is very see through…" I hurriedly covered my breast with my arms and turned to glare at him. He lifted his hands up in defense and said "It's not like I haven’t seen them before"
I think I actually blushed from head to toes, in one sudden rush… To my mind came all the times we did the naughty... and the things he liked to do with my breasts... 'Holy Camotes' "Don't think about it?" he said quietly.
I swallowed hard and asked bravely "And what do you think, I'm thinking about? "Can you read minds now Yonghwa?"
"No." he said smiling slowly. "But I know you better than you do yourself..." He leaned closer and whispered against my ear. "How many nights a look like that, was the prelude for a magnificent night?"
I shivered, but I wanted to blame the sudden summer breeze drifting into the apartment. I turned away from him and put some needed distance. "It's not like I not notice how you look at me too." I said bravely.
"You are a beautiful woman Seohyun, there is no way a man wouldn’t look your way" he turned to look me clearly in the eyes "That doesn’t mean I have to do something about it"
'Auch... That hurt'
"Good to know then" I turned to show him the door. “Thank you for the help, you already know the way out.”
“No need to thank me. It was my pleasure…” he said the last while pointedly looking at my chest area.
He walked out… And as I watched him close the door, I realized I deserved that and so much more…
I was at the gate, he was saying goodbye to his friends and family. His mother crying, his father holding his wife as his friends were making all kind of silly things to make the moment more festive. Indeed she should be right next to them, trying to lift the spirits of her mother in law… But something inside her was snapping as all the months of anticipation for this moment came crashing on her… He was going away, leaving her behind… He will find someone else and then she will get a call or stupid email or a one line text message telling her they were over… The idea of that was unbearable, her heart wouldn’t be able to handle it and in a moment of blindness as I watched him coming closer smiling, looking happy, I decided it was best to let him go for good.
“How is my pretty Seohyun doing?” he said as he draped an arm over my shoulder and guided me to the gate. His family and friends staying behind to give us some alone time. I walked silently beside him as he talked about visiting in the summer, to skype with me every day and a bunch of stuff to keep us connected through all that space that was going to separate us.
Once we stepped outside the entrance of customs department, were only passengers could go in, I turned to look at him. I grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him down for a kiss, I could feel myself crying as I kissed him, his friends cheering from the distance. He wrapped his arms around me and I soaked in his warm for one last time. “Yonghwa, I’m sorry… I won’t be able to handle this…”
“Why are you crying?” he asked smiling as he whipped a silly tear with his thumb.
“I think it’s best if we break things between us”
His face immediately fell as he asked “What are you talking about?”
“All this distance” I said as I wringed my hands together… “It’s not going to work… I think we better end things as friend… Than getting hurt in the near future.”
“No” he said
“No?” I asked back.
“I wont accept this… Why are you doing this today when I’m leaving? We could have talked about this if you were worried about how things will go…”
“I just decided it’s the best”
“Best for whom?”
“…”
“I won’t accept this… This is emotional blackmail Seohyun”
“No” I said firmly. “This is me letting you go, to pursue your dreams, free to do whatever you want…”
“But what I want the most is right in front of me…” he said quietly as he looked at me with the saddest expression. “I think you need time, I will call you as soon as I reach New York… We are not over Seohyun” he said seriously as he grabbed his backpack. He pulled me back for one last kiss, crushing me to his body, like putting his mark on me forever…
I didn’t had the guts to say anything else as he let go of me.
The next days, weeks and months I didn’t answer any of his calls, text messages, emails… Nothing… Until one day, they just stopped…
A silent tear ran down my cheek as I looked outside… Yes, it was all my fault and there was no one to blame for his resentment against me... No one to blame but me...
You are the worst love I have ever met,
So perfect that I can’t forget you
Think of me, help me hate you
Do the things cowards do
Don’t treat me right, don’t smile anymore,
Cause my soul keeps suffering,
Be a true ex and treat me bad… Help me with that…
“Ex de Verdad” by Ha-Ash
Author’s Note:
Hahahahahah I love this fic. That Seohyun is crazy crazy crazy!!! Hahahahhahah I love her!!!!
Thanks to Fabi for nagging me into finishing chapter 2… XD
Have a nice week gogumas and happy May 1st!
Disclaimer: I don’t own the people in this fic. This is just for fun and no money is made from this.
Chapter 2
“What is life?” I said to myself and regretted it immediately after, when a huge headache broke through my morning fogginess. The pain was so blinding that even the thought of blinking was painful… I groaned to myself and just stayed there contemplating the universe, wishing I haven’t had drinks last night… Especially when the silliest dream have come out of it… For real, not in a million years… Not even in at trillion years Yonghwa will move right into my building and even worse! Right to the apartment across the hall. ‘No way in hell’ that was a possibility. No. Not at all… ‘hahahhahaha’ I laughed to myself in my head, since I was too afraid to make the noise… The pain inside my head was real…
Once the world stopped spinning and hurting a little, I grabbed enough strength to crawl out of bed and find my way into the bathroom. “Ok, you got this far Seohyun you can do it!” I said to myself as I washed my face and relieved myself. After those two motions life was better, but today was Friday, I had to be in the station for my last transmission of the week at 2 o’clock to prepare the broadcast… I was going on air from 4 to 6 in the afternoon and I better gather myself together, before my boss chops my head off from going hangover to work.
I walked to the living room to check the time and then it’s when I noticed my keys on the floor. Strange, no matter how drunk I’m, I always put them in the same place… The little desk by the door. I looked to the hall and noticed a wand and then a box, I walked slowly closer to the items… Something was nagging me at the back of my head… I picked the wand and then realized the box was the Harry Potter Special Edition Box Set I bought yesterday… “How on earth, did I do this to this beautiful box!?” I asked to myself as I checked the damage… “Why would I…”
Then a sinking feeling downed on me, I had a sudden flashback of Yonghwa at my door, telling me he was moving across the hall… ‘No way in hell’ I said to myself as I rushed to stand up. Too bad, I remembered a little too late my headache… I grabbed my spinning head and walked to the medicine cabinet… One thing at a time, first, I need to address this massive headache.
And as my luck was going, the cherry on top, was that I was out of hangover medicine… Just when the thought of living inside my home for the rest of my life was getting more appealing, I have to go out to buy medicine… Just the thought of crossing paths with Yonghwa had me sweating already. ‘I don’t want to see him...’ I said to myself as I pressed my hands together to calm myself.
But there was nothing I could do… I walked to my room to get out of the dress I was wearing since yesterday. I put on my favorite black exercise baggy pants and a grey hoody. I walked back to the living room looking for my purse, It was nowhere to be found… And after a lot of painful thinking I realized Yonghwa was grabbing my purse when I was smashing my door in his face…
“Just great…” I groaned to myself defeated… I needed money to buy medicines… But I didn’t want to talk to him… Ever again… So I decided I will procrastinate against this meeting and went to get my emergency money, which was stashed in a secret compartment in my night stand. “So happy I’m so psycho about been ready for emergencies!” I said to myself and I jumped… And my brain jumped with me and then I was bending over cursing my stupidity… “Keep calm Seohyun, just keep calm…” I took several deep breathes and walked to the front door.
I stayed there just looking at it for ten whole minutes… I didn’t want to go out and find him standing there… So I decided to do like they did in movies, I pressed my ear to the door and listened for five minutes… Not even a bee could be heard… Then I remembered I actually had a peephole installed in my door and proceeded to use it, like it was supposed to be used. To stalk the people on the other side.
I looked… The hall was empty… This was my chance and before I regretted it more, I opened the door very very very slowly not making a single noise, I rushed out and turned to close it as slowly as I opened it. Not wanting to alert my neighbor that I was here… Outside my apartment. I congratulate myself for a job well done (very silently), turned around to be on my way and that is when I found Yonghwa walking in my direction.
“Eckkkkk” I screamed as I turned around to face my door. I couldn’t look at him… No way in hell. The part of my brain that was in charge of scanning good looking men in less than two seconds, took out several pointers. Like he was wearing running shorts not too long not too short, just enough to show those great legs of his. His white shirt was totally dripped in sweat, giving a clear shape of his magnificent wide chest… And his hair, ‘Oh My God his hair’ Lord have mercy but this man looks at his best when sweaty, especially with his hair whipped back.
"Good Morning Seohyun" I heard him say and I almost jumped out of my skin again. But I forced myself to stay calm.
"Hi!" I answered back in a high pitched tone, there goes my ‘stay calm’ façade. For real what was wrong with me.
"Going out for some exercise?" he asked, probably my clothing having something to do with that question.
"Uhmmm... Not really" I said quietly as I firmly planted the hood over my head and half turned to look at him. I didn’t want him to see my head looking like a nest of bees. ‘Why?! Oh Why?! I didn’t brush my hair this morning!!! Gahhhhhh!!!’
I watched him, looking at me for long moment... The silence getting unbearable until I had to move (Because I was getting the cramps, you know?) and then he smiled. Yes, you are reading it right he smiled at me, one of his sweet smiles that always ended up melting me from the inside out (Bastard) "I thought you wouldn’t be feeling well today, so I got you some medicine on my way back from my run"
‘No he didn’t!’ I looked at the brown paper package in his hand and then at him. 'WHY HE HAS TO DO THIS TO ME! WHY?!!!!!!!' I literally was pulling my hairs inside my head as I said "Oh, thank you" as calm as I could. "How much I own you?" ‘WHY HE HAS TO BE SO NICE?!!!’ (Le cries in the corner).
"Don’t worry, they are on me... I feel sorry about your books" 'He is just nice to everyone, he is just nice to everyone' I keep repeating to myself, to get myself together.
An awkward silence fell on us as we just looked at each other. My stomach was churning in weird ways, I just wanted to get away from his presence. "Well, see you around" I said as I turn to get inside my apartment.
"Seohyun..." he said quietly and all the hairs in my body stood in attention.
I turned slowly to look at him and swallowed hard before I asked "Yes?"
"You forgot your purse last night" and then he smiled again. That cheeky grin of him, that knew when I was been silly and stupid… And just too over the top for my own good.
‘Bastard’
‘Bastard’
‘Bastard’
I took a deep breath and said calmly "Oh, right. Can I have it back?"
He nodded and I watched in silence as he got his keys out of his pocket and opened his apartment door. Once he disappeared inside I began to quietly smack my head with my open palm. “Stupid Seohyun!” I whispered under my breath as I repeated the process several times.
“Are you ok?” I heard him ask and this time I actually jumped. “I didn’t mean to scare you” he said as he walked closer, extending his hand to hold my arm… I knew it was a natural movement out of concern but it was like lightening have struck me right where he touched me.
As discreetly as I could I stepped out of his grasp. “Yes, It’s just this headache, it’s driving me crazy” ‘More like you are driving me crazy, but he didn’t have to know that…’ I looked down and found my purse in his hand. “Oh, can I have my purse back”
“Sorry” he said as he handed it to me. He looked at me for a long while and then said “Actually your cellphone kept ringing all right. It was not my intention to prey in your stuff, but it was driving me crazy and I had to put it in silence.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry!!!” I said as I looked for my phone inside my purse. I unlocked it and found a bunch of missed calls from the professor from the library. Thank God I have it saved under his real name and not some kind of silly acronyms (Like I usually do) like H.P.F.L = Hot Professor From Library… Now why this man was calling when I clearly said this was not going to work… Uhmmm
I must have made some kind of face because Yonghwa actually asked “Is he bothering you?”
‘Was he jealous?… Nahhh It must be my wishful thinking…' Since he have all those pictures having fun with girls in the big apple… Why should I be worried about him been jealous… "No, we went out a few times but it didn’t work"
‘We were exes we could talk about this stuff… the deep stuff’ I said to myself as I gathered my courage to look at him. He was amused. Go figure what that meant. “Well, anything you need I'm just across the hall... Neighbor" He said as he waived and turned to enter his apartment.
"Same here" I said impulsively at the last moment. 'Why would I said that?!!!’ I wanted to smack myself in the head.
I hurriedly turned around and entered my apartment and continued with my daily routine, pretending my ex was not living across the hall. I took the medicine and slept a couple of hours more, I woke up refreshed. I cleaned the house and went to the office like nothing was wrong… Until I parked again in my building is parking lot and remembered I had to walk down the lobby, up the stairs and down my hall in the fourth floor… All those moments making it possible for me to cross path with ‘he who must not be named’… a.k.a. My EX… ‘What is life?’...
I was actually contemplating the idea of living in my car, when my gossipy neighbor from floor 3 walked to her car, parked next to mine. If I didn’t want to validate her idea that I was crazy, I was better off walking to my apartment, than sleeping in it for the night. “Hello” I said as I stepped out.
“Oh, Seohyun, long time no see you! How are things going?” And before I could even open my mouth to answer her first question she was asking again. “Such a hunk your new neighbor?... Hu!… And a darling too!” she said sighing wishfully. “I returned from the supermarket a moment ago and I was struggling with my packages and he offered to help me… Carried them like they weighed nothing… His arms are so… Sigh… I’m so happy with this new neighbor…” She said as she turned to look at me. The only thought I had was that Yonghwa was ‘New meat for the slaughter house’ that was this complex full of single women in their twenties and thirties....
“Yes, I crossed paths with him yesterday” I said calmly. “He actually helped me with a box I was carrying too.” ‘Ha! See you are not special woman he helps everyone… Bastard’
“Oh well” said the woman from floor 3, moving her hands in a dismissive way. “I shall thank him properly…” And the innuendo after that ‘properly’ wasn’t lost to me. “Well, it was nice seen you Seohyun” she said as she walked to her car. “It’s Friday and the night is calling me… TaTa!”
For someone in her mid-forties my neighbor was the envy of the building. But what she hated the most was been called Mrs. … So I did it without mercy. “Have fun Mrs. Yoo! TaTa”
I was grinning to myself all the way up to my floor as the mutters of Mrs. Yoo could be heard in the distance. But once I reached the landing of the fourth floor my smile disappeared. I actually put my back against the wall and plucked my head out to see who was there. ‘He who must not be named‘ was messing with my nerves so bad.
Once I realized the coast was free, I ran to my apartment door, opened the door super-fast and closed it as quietly as I could. ‘Thank God’ I thought to myself as all this unnecessary stress was bad for my health. So I decided this Friday will be dedicated to some me time. And then some needed sleep.
I filled the tub, turned on some scented candles, put on some relaxing music, a glass of wine and life was instantly better as I submerged in the warm water of the tub. After the glass of wine was over and the water turned from warm to tepid, I decided it was time to step out, I took the opportunity to wash my hair and rinsed away all my problems. I was actually happier when I put on my big pajamas and brushed my hair.
I sighed as I lay down in bed and put the warm covers over my body. This was heaven.
I grabbed my kindle and began to read a romance novel I have been meaning to finish a long while ago… But then the book reached the sexy part and I was a little turned on… And maybe because I decided it was a good way to lose some more stress, I began to take care of myself, my hand reaching for places I liked. I was actually very inspired, getting in the high rail to heaven when I heard someone knocking on my door… I was tempted to ignore the knocking, but it was so annoying that my train to heaven derailed mid-way and I huffed and jumped out of bed, stomping all the way to the front door.
I opened it too hard, the door smashing against the wall as I said “Yes?” My mouth hanging open as I watched Yonghwa standing in front of me. He was wearing dark jeans, a white shirt with a few buttons left open, his sleeve rolled to his mid arms. My mouth actually watered… He always looked so dam good in jeans and white shirt… I always told him, I liked it the best when he dressed like that… “Oh, Hi!” I managed to squeak out.
"Seohyun I'm having a comeback party with the guys and I thought you would like to join us and said hi to them" he said smiling, giving a quick once over at my huge pajama.
Before I could answer the door to his apartment opened and standing there was Jonghyun (Yonghwa is best friend in all the world) saying "I will get more ice…"
'No way in hell, I will be in the same place as his friend... After the way I dumped him!!! They hated me!’ Luckily Jonghyun was not paying attention to them and just ran down the hall to the elevator. I needed to think something fast… Anything will be good… ‘ANYTHING!!! THINK SEOHYUN!!! THINK!!!’ “Uhmmm I'm actually going out" I said out of desperation, while I was smacking myself against an imaginary wall in my head. "Yes! I have a date... and I was just going to blow dry my hair... Maybe next time?"
"Ok, then. Maybe next time…” He said smiling and I wanted to tell him I was lying, that I was crazy, that he should be moving out because I was here first and it was not fair that I was the one that will have to move out, because of him… Or more because I didn’t know how to handle my feelings about him…
“Have fun" I said as again I closed the door on his face. I pulled at my hair for real this time and rushed to the bathroom to dry my hair and put on the hot rollers, to make my hair wavy. Next I was looking for my most skimpy red dress. There will be not much distance between me and a real hooker looking for a client... But that was not the point. The point was to get out of my home dressed to kill and Yonghwa be witness of it. He had to know I have a life, that I not spend my Friday nights reading books and masturbating myself because I was unable to have a normal relationship after him.
So now with a new resolution I put on my make-up, super high heels, grabbed my purse and keys, walked to my door my back straight and… Waited behind the door… And waited some more… And then waited some more looking through the peephole… Waiting for the right moment to step out… Just when Yonghwa could see me in all my glory... And no, this was not the moment to ask myself why I was doing this.
Then the moment was here.
A big group arrived and Yonghwa stepped out to greet them, when the last two people were entering I opened the door with a bang... Literally, because I had pulled the door too hard and it had smashed against the wall. I cringed to myself and then looked up just to find Yonghwa giving me a once over with a real intense gaze.
My heart beat accelerated and I stood straighter. "I'm sorry. I'm in a hurry" I said as I rushed out and closed the door.
I walked down the hall hurriedly, too embarrassed from my stupidity... ‘What I was expecting of this spectacle of myself?’ I asked to myself, cringing inwardly... I was actually reprimanding myself quietly as I waited for the elevator when I heard someone approaching "Seohyun..." he said again in that quietly breathless, shivery way he had to speak when he wanted to play the seduction game. I actually had to hold at bay a shiver as I turned to look at him. "You dropped your keys"
‘There goes all the excitement of the moment’ I thought to myself as I said "Oh" Disappointed as I extended my hand to remove the keys from his open palm… But then he closed his fingers and my hand was trapped in his warm hand.
I looked up, just to find that too intense gaze, I knew so much, trained on me "You are gorgeous Seohyun, however is dating you is a lucky man, not the other way around... Because I think you deserve the very best… We never spoked again after our breakup, but after all this years, I just want you to know that I want you to be happy. You deserve it Seohyun…”
My heart logged in my throat.
'WHY DID I DUMPED THIS MAN?’ I screamed in my head as I just stood there speechless. He let go of my hand and walked away, without turning back. I gathered the little pried I have left and turned around and got into the elevator.
I drove around the city without a clear direction and ended up eating noodles and drinking a bottle of soju in a side road stall. People were looking at me funny, because I was overly dressed, but I didn’t car… Once near three in the morning I decided it was time to get back. There was music coming from his apartment still, but I quietly entered my apartment and walked straight to bed.
The next day, I felt so bad, that I stayed all day in bed… I was a horrible person… Horrible. By midafternoon I decided I couldn’t stay like this forever and crawled out of bed to prepare some food… I opened the sink tap and the stupid noise was there again. Even that was annoying in my current state.
The tap have been doing a shocking noise for the last two weeks, but every day I forgot to call the plumber… The annoyance reached such a high level that I ended hitting the tap to make it quiet… It was a huge mistake... The thing blew up and water emerged like a fountain. I screamed almost shocking with the amount of water falling on me from above as the water hit the ceiling.
I hurried away and almost felt down. I grabbed the counter for balance and stood still trying to thing what to do. I rushed to look under the sink and found the main faucet for the sink. I tried to turn it off, but it was too hard maybe even rusted… I rushed to get my hammer out of my tool box and came back to smash the think to make it turn… Too bad I put too much force, because the thing came apart and now was raining water from above and from below the sink.
I wanted to cry, but more important was to save the furniture, so I rushed to get all the towels I had and spread them in the kitchen entrance so the water will stay just there. Once that was controlled (for now), I looked for the main water faucet for the apartment. It was beside the washing machine. I tried to turn it but it wouldn’t budge… I was thinking about using the hammer, but thinking back to how that idea had ended... So in the end, I did the stupid, but right thing to do and rushed to the front door. I opened it… Then hesitated just a moment… Then took two steps forward and stopped again… Just outside Yonghwa is door.
I put my hand up to knock but then I moved it back… I repeated the movement and only in the third time I got the courage to knock and say "Yonghwa…" I knocked harder "Yonghwa!!!" but there was no answer.
I knocked again and someone behind me said "Seohyun something wrong?"
I turned hurriedly relieved to see Yonghwa "Yonghwa!" I said, but the rest of the words died on me when I saw the woman behind him.
I saw him looking down at my current state... wearing my pajama shorts, with a big shirt totally soaked in water and barefoot.... I must be a sight beside the elegant woman behind him.
"Is something wrong?" he asked again.
"Nothing" I said hurriedly "I don’t want to interrupt your date... I will get the concierge... Sorry"
I walked down the hall without looking back, my back straight as I walked down the stairs to look for the concierge in his office… Too bad he was out for the weekend already…
I walked back to my apartment worried about my furniture and my carpet… Totally putting… More like forcing the image of that woman beside Yonghwa to the back of my mind.
Too bad that when I reached my hall, he was saying good bye to the woman in his door. The woman walks beside me without looking at me and then Yonghwa steps into my path and ask again “Do you need help?”
“No” I said clearly and with something like silly pride. Without giving him a second look I walked to my apartment closing the door behind me.
I was so determined to fix this problem with my own two hands that I was even considering smashing the main faucet for the apartment if necessary… When suddenly I took a wrong step on the wet floor “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” I screamed with all the air in my lungs as I felt back and hit my head in the floor.
In the distance I heard a loud bang and then Yonghwa was right beside me. “Are you ok?”
"I think so" I said as I stood up in the mini pool that was my kitchen now.
"Let me help you" he said seriously. And I resigned myself… I explained to him that I couldn’t close the main faucet and without much effort he managed to close it in one go. I sat down in a kitchen stool and looked at the mess as I massaged the back of my head. That hit was going to left an awful lump in my head. "Do you want to go to the doctor?"
"It won’t be necessary, I will be fine" I said stubbornly.
Soon he was removing his jacket and rolling his jeans up. "What are you doing?" I asked.
"I will help you clean" Without any word he just reached for the mop and began to gather the water.
Silently I went for the towels and squeezed them dry on the sink. Just to put them back on the floor again and repeat the process.
We worked in silence very efficiently.
Once most of the water was gone, I walked to the balcony and opened the doors to help dry the floor. I stood in the balcony, feeling the warm summer breeze on my body, when Yonghwa walked closer and said "You shouldn’t be there…"
"Why not?" I asked as I lifted my face to the sun.
I felt him walk closer his mouth resting very close to my ear as he said "You are not wearing a bra and that shirt is very see through…" I hurriedly covered my breast with my arms and turned to glare at him. He lifted his hands up in defense and said "It's not like I haven’t seen them before"
I think I actually blushed from head to toes, in one sudden rush… To my mind came all the times we did the naughty... and the things he liked to do with my breasts... 'Holy Camotes' "Don't think about it?" he said quietly.
I swallowed hard and asked bravely "And what do you think, I'm thinking about? "Can you read minds now Yonghwa?"
"No." he said smiling slowly. "But I know you better than you do yourself..." He leaned closer and whispered against my ear. "How many nights a look like that, was the prelude for a magnificent night?"
I shivered, but I wanted to blame the sudden summer breeze drifting into the apartment. I turned away from him and put some needed distance. "It's not like I not notice how you look at me too." I said bravely.
"You are a beautiful woman Seohyun, there is no way a man wouldn’t look your way" he turned to look me clearly in the eyes "That doesn’t mean I have to do something about it"
'Auch... That hurt'
"Good to know then" I turned to show him the door. “Thank you for the help, you already know the way out.”
“No need to thank me. It was my pleasure…” he said the last while pointedly looking at my chest area.
He walked out… And as I watched him close the door, I realized I deserved that and so much more…
I was at the gate, he was saying goodbye to his friends and family. His mother crying, his father holding his wife as his friends were making all kind of silly things to make the moment more festive. Indeed she should be right next to them, trying to lift the spirits of her mother in law… But something inside her was snapping as all the months of anticipation for this moment came crashing on her… He was going away, leaving her behind… He will find someone else and then she will get a call or stupid email or a one line text message telling her they were over… The idea of that was unbearable, her heart wouldn’t be able to handle it and in a moment of blindness as I watched him coming closer smiling, looking happy, I decided it was best to let him go for good.
“How is my pretty Seohyun doing?” he said as he draped an arm over my shoulder and guided me to the gate. His family and friends staying behind to give us some alone time. I walked silently beside him as he talked about visiting in the summer, to skype with me every day and a bunch of stuff to keep us connected through all that space that was going to separate us.
Once we stepped outside the entrance of customs department, were only passengers could go in, I turned to look at him. I grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him down for a kiss, I could feel myself crying as I kissed him, his friends cheering from the distance. He wrapped his arms around me and I soaked in his warm for one last time. “Yonghwa, I’m sorry… I won’t be able to handle this…”
“Why are you crying?” he asked smiling as he whipped a silly tear with his thumb.
“I think it’s best if we break things between us”
His face immediately fell as he asked “What are you talking about?”
“All this distance” I said as I wringed my hands together… “It’s not going to work… I think we better end things as friend… Than getting hurt in the near future.”
“No” he said
“No?” I asked back.
“I wont accept this… Why are you doing this today when I’m leaving? We could have talked about this if you were worried about how things will go…”
“I just decided it’s the best”
“Best for whom?”
“…”
“I won’t accept this… This is emotional blackmail Seohyun”
“No” I said firmly. “This is me letting you go, to pursue your dreams, free to do whatever you want…”
“But what I want the most is right in front of me…” he said quietly as he looked at me with the saddest expression. “I think you need time, I will call you as soon as I reach New York… We are not over Seohyun” he said seriously as he grabbed his backpack. He pulled me back for one last kiss, crushing me to his body, like putting his mark on me forever…
I didn’t had the guts to say anything else as he let go of me.
The next days, weeks and months I didn’t answer any of his calls, text messages, emails… Nothing… Until one day, they just stopped…
A silent tear ran down my cheek as I looked outside… Yes, it was all my fault and there was no one to blame for his resentment against me... No one to blame but me...
You are the worst love I have ever met,
So perfect that I can’t forget you
Think of me, help me hate you
Do the things cowards do
Don’t treat me right, don’t smile anymore,
Cause my soul keeps suffering,
Be a true ex and treat me bad… Help me with that…
“Ex de Verdad” by Ha-Ash
Author’s Note:
Hahahahahah I love this fic. That Seohyun is crazy crazy crazy!!! Hahahahhahah I love her!!!!
Thanks to Fabi for nagging me into finishing chapter 2… XD
Have a nice week gogumas and happy May 1st!