This is part one of my "Why I Love" Manifesto for
scifiland . I decided to do a fan mix and some meta for one of my favorite Star Wars characters, Asajj Ventress.
Fallen by Sarah McLachlan
Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear
Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so…
This is the general theme for Asajj: She wanted to be a Jedi, but when her master was killed and seemingly abandoned by the order, she turned more and more to the dark side before eventually joining Dooku.
Bad Reputation by Joan Jett
Oh no, not me
Oh no, not me
I don't give a damn
'Bout my reputation
I've never been afraid of any deviation
An' I don't really care
If ya think I'm strange
I ain't gonna change
An' I'm never gonna care
'Bout my bad reputation
She really doesn't. Asajj will do what she wants, when she wants, and you better get out of her way if you value your life.
Numb by Linkin Park
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
This describes the relationship between Dooku and Asajj. To her, he's the replacement father figure that was lost when she was a child. To him, however, she's merely an expendable tool, one that he can discard when he no longer perceives her to be useful.
Bad Romance by Lady Gaga
I want your loving
And I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
I want your loving
All your love is revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
This song describes Obi-Wan/Asajj in a nutshell. They are one of my favorite Star Wars pairings: There is just so much UST and foe-yay whenever these two talk, no matter which medium it's in. Seriously, go watch an episode of Clone Wars between the two of them. They sound like they want to have hate-sex whenever they're talking to each other.
Big Machine by The Goo Goo Dolls
Now this angry little girl
Drownin' in this petty world
And I'm who you run to
Swallow all your bitter pills
That's what makes you beautiful
You're all a lie
I won't leave what you ain't got
This is how Obi-Wan views Asajj: Somebody who he can't escape, no matter what, and who is somebody in need of saving.
Sky is a Poisonous Garden by Concrete Blonde
She said please don't go (please don't go)
She said please don't go.
And she sighed and she died in his arms
And he cried.
The moons is full and the stars are bright
The sky is a poisonous garden tonight.
It's sad how poetic the final scenes in the Obsession mini-series were. Asajj, who everybody thought was dead, was really alive, only to die in Obi-Wan's arms after Anakin thought she was about to kill Obi-Wan. Her final words to him: "Maybe you were right about me."
Shattered by Trading Yesterday
And I've lost who I am
And I can't understand.
Why my heart is so broken
Rejecting your love
Without love gone wrong
Lifeless words carry on
But I know, all I know
Is that the end's beginning
This song, to me at least, is what was going on in Asajj's head after Dooku had her shot. She had been nothing but loyal to him, and in reward, she was betrayed. There's an element of her feelings towards Obi-Wan in here as well.
What I've Done by Linkin Park
Put to rest
What you thought of me
While I clean this slate
With the hands
Of uncertainty
So let mercy come
And wash away
What I've done
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done
But she's not really dead! Sick of the games that she's been thrust into between the Jedi and the Sith, Asajj leaves the battlefield with the medical cruiser she was loaded on and disappears, never to be heard from again.
Cut by Plumb
I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut
I may seem crazy
Or painfully shy
And these scars wouldn't be so hidden
If you would just look me in the eye
I feel alone here and cold here
Though I don't want to die
But the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside
This is another song that reminds me of Asajj in general. Anger is the only way she can really feel, but in the end, it's the source of her undoing.
Zip file here