Sometimes I worry myself...

[kerribeary]

Sometimes I think that I'll never pull myself back up. I'm so far down that it's really hard to keep trying. People keep asking me what's wrong...and I can't tell them. I don't know why I can't tell them...I guess I'm just not used to people listening to me. In my mind no one cares what I have to say, never have. Middle child syndrome, I guess. Okay, so one thing that is definitely bothering me ...haven't been able to say before now...I think Jacqui's mad at me. I think she's upset about me sleeping with Gonz. I know that she'll say that she's not, but everything that's happened since...says differently. I've been trying to ignore it...hoping it will go away. I just get the feeling that she's really upset with me. I wish I could fix it. I wish things could go back to the way they were...not that it would fix my mental state...I'd still be just as psycho. Jacqui, I'm really sorry if I upset you or hurt you in anyway! I wasn't planning on anything happening. I hope you're not upset...and if you are...I hope that you can forgive me.

I really should stop stressing...I think it's affecting my cycle...and I'm on birthcontrol. Actually a little worried about that as well. That's a scary thought. It's just stress...I'm sure it's just stress. Plus I went and got the day-after pill.

I've been working like mad that past couple of days...and school is in full swing...and not to mention I'm a mental case...I'm sure it's just stress. God, I hope so!