I'm tired...

[kerri_berri]

of tests, of dr's appointments, of it all... I went for my esophagus motility test today. It was horrible and aweful and near traumatizing. I know that sounds dramatic, but it was. They 'numb' up the nostrils and sinuses with lidocaine, which stung a bit. They put the tube in one nostril and because of my anatomy it wouldn't go through, which happens. So they try the other... it's goes through... then it hits the back of my mouth and triggers my gag reflex. So they try again. I couldn't swallow the tube. I kept choking and the tube just wouldn't go down. After a few tries and a bloody nose, they decided to stop. It makes sense, I mean, the reason I was there is because I have difficulty swallowing.

Now I am waiting to here from my dr about whether or not they want to do try the test again, but put the tube in place with an endoscopy while im under anesthesia, and then perform the test after I've woken up. Honestly... I don't even want to do it. I'm going to talk to the dr about how necessary the test is, how much they will be able to learn from it, and whether or not what they will learn is even treatable.

Another note, turns out I didn't have kidney stones, which is good. I do have a cyst on one of my kidneys. My dr says its not a big deal, but if it because bothersome or if I have pain like that again to get it checked out. I guess I can get it removed if it causes too much pain. As long as the cyst doesn't change it's not a big deal... from what I understand. so I guess that's good.

I just can't take any more of this.