Top Ten Signs To Stop Reading
Signs in fanfic that mean I should stop reading the story, because it won't be worth finishing it. I don't always listen to myself, though.
Deadly:
1. Bad spelling, punctuation and other signs of illiteracy. This includes:
* Misuse of long words (e.g. "decapitated arm") or confusing one long word for another (e.g. "conscious/conscience").
* Apostrophe misuse; not just the common your/you're, but even worse, adding apostrophes to plurals (e.g. "adding apostrophe's to plural's"). What do they teach them at these schools?
* More than one sentence whose meaning I cannot parse, due to grammar fail. If I can't understand what is being said, why should I bother continuing?
2. Non-American characters calling their mothers "Mom", and other egregious Americanisms such as "prom", "junior high" and "peanut butter and jelly sandwiches".
3. Major character names being misspelled (e.g Villa, Lilly, McCloud). If they can't get even that right, you can pretty much guarantee they won't get the characterisations right either.
4. Author's notes interjected into the middle of a paragraph.
5. Character assassination. Characters who are canonically good being portrayed as evil, with no explanation why. Or perhaps there is an explanation why, but it happens too late in the story, because I've already stopped reading it.
Warning signs:
6. Characters with non-canonical nicknames (e.g. Danny, 'Mione, Sev).
7. Smushed-together names for "pairings" (e.g. Spuffy, Snanger, Dramione).
8. Non-American characters knowing recipes for American goodies such as snickerdoodles or brownies, especially when they don't appear to know recipes for British goodies.
9. Detailed descriptions of the clothes, hobbies and/or musical tastes of a character when these have no bearing on the plot.
10. Non-American characters suddenly deciding to go off to America, and the majority of the story is set there.
And, yes, I have seen every single one of these. Even the "decapitated arm". That was in a B7 one-story fanzine I read many years ago, which also had the gems "dual triumvirate" and "in a strategically walkable manner".
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Deadly:
1. Bad spelling, punctuation and other signs of illiteracy. This includes:
* Misuse of long words (e.g. "decapitated arm") or confusing one long word for another (e.g. "conscious/conscience").
* Apostrophe misuse; not just the common your/you're, but even worse, adding apostrophes to plurals (e.g. "adding apostrophe's to plural's"). What do they teach them at these schools?
* More than one sentence whose meaning I cannot parse, due to grammar fail. If I can't understand what is being said, why should I bother continuing?
2. Non-American characters calling their mothers "Mom", and other egregious Americanisms such as "prom", "junior high" and "peanut butter and jelly sandwiches".
3. Major character names being misspelled (e.g Villa, Lilly, McCloud). If they can't get even that right, you can pretty much guarantee they won't get the characterisations right either.
4. Author's notes interjected into the middle of a paragraph.
5. Character assassination. Characters who are canonically good being portrayed as evil, with no explanation why. Or perhaps there is an explanation why, but it happens too late in the story, because I've already stopped reading it.
Warning signs:
6. Characters with non-canonical nicknames (e.g. Danny, 'Mione, Sev).
7. Smushed-together names for "pairings" (e.g. Spuffy, Snanger, Dramione).
8. Non-American characters knowing recipes for American goodies such as snickerdoodles or brownies, especially when they don't appear to know recipes for British goodies.
9. Detailed descriptions of the clothes, hobbies and/or musical tastes of a character when these have no bearing on the plot.
10. Non-American characters suddenly deciding to go off to America, and the majority of the story is set there.
And, yes, I have seen every single one of these. Even the "decapitated arm". That was in a B7 one-story fanzine I read many years ago, which also had the gems "dual triumvirate" and "in a strategically walkable manner".
This entry was originally posted at http://kerravonsen.dreamwidth.org/874714.html. (Comments
) Respond here, or respond on the Dreamwidth post, as you prefer. You can use your DW login or OpenId there.