You Know You're From...
Gacked from various people...
Go to Google, type in 'you know you're from (insert country or state)and copy the jokes you find listed. Bold the ones that apply to you.
You know you're from Australia when...
Your next door neighbours can be from Tunisia, Israel, Indonesia, Japan, Zimbabwe, Iraq, Brazil, Spain, Malaysia...
The Greeks and Mexicans next door ask you over to have a barbeque.
You don't actually use the words 'sheila' or 'shrimp'.
You sleep with Aeroguard on.
You feel obliged to spread salty black stuff that looks like congealed motor oil on bread and actually grow to like it.
You actively dislike Americans, but watch their TV, eat their food and worship their idols.
You think Tall Poppy Syndrome is a national condition.
Democracy means the freedom to draw caricatures of John Howard.
The term "musical instrument" also extends to wobbly bits of ply-wood, hand saws, gum leafs and combs.
All of your internationally famous people don't live here.
You relish test cricket - the longest, slowest game in sport (and that's not even counting the replays). After all, what else gives you an excuse to sit on your arse for five days, watch TV and sink piss with your mates?
The only thing better than beating the Poms at ANY sport is giving them flak for it.
You love, adore and admire a particular team/sportstar/actor on a winning streak - until they lose. Then they're just crap and 'past it.'
You can compress several words into one - ie 'g'day', 'd'reckn?' This allows for more space for profanities.
You favour either Holden or Ford - or a souped-up WRX with new kit and a bootful of subwoofer.
You know all the words to Khe Sahn but not the national anthem.
Your nickname ends in 'a' or 'o'.
You have a customised stubby holder.
Your soap stars become pop singers and move to the UK.
You've ever used the words - grouse, tops, ripper, choice, sick, rad, exo, ace, wicked, ballistic - to mean good. And then you place 'bloody' in front of it when you really mean it.
The "Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oi oi oi!" chant has been a religious experience in the past.
The big national sporting events are men-only.
The barbeque is a male-dominated arena. And the women do the salads.
'Fair go for all' excludes indigenous people.
An eight-hour trip to go camping for the weekend isn't out of the question or excessive.
You take pride in living in a tolerant multicultural society but firmly believe that all Poms and Kiwis are fair game.
You insist on asking every celebrity who steps off an aircraft what they think of Australia. If the response is not overwhelmingly positive, they should be subjected to immediate public ridicule.
The private lives of footy and cricket players become more important than local and national news stories.
You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not.
You call your best friends names (like "bastard") and are freezingly polite to your enemies.
People in other countries don't know what season it is here.
Christmas means salads, or a barbie on the beach.
You reckon anyone who carries on about how great they are is up themselves. Or American.
You wear togs to go swimming, and thongs on your feet.
You use "mate" as a greeting, affectionate nickname, and exclamation, like Americans do with "dude".
The milk bar sells a lot more than just stuff from cows.
Proper hamburgers have lettuce, tomato, onion, and beetroot in them.
You find it inconceivable that a house wouldn't have fly-screens on all the windows and doors.
You know you're from Melbourne when...
You see/hear a tram like every 5 minutes when you go out into the city.
You know that rush hour is @ 9-10am, 12:30-2pm and 4-7pm in the CBD.
You actually know what CBD stands for.
You know that Mac Rob. and Melbourne High are selective schools and they only accept you if you are smart (via testing).
You always gloat about Melbourne being one of the most livable cities.
You know that when someone arranges to meet you "at the clocks", they mean the clocks at the entrance of Flinders Street Station.
You see tourists walk into the information booth at Federation Square thinking it's some kind of tourist attraction.
You see tourists walk around the information booth at Federation Square wondering how to get inside.
You use the City Circle as a free ride to get from point A to point B.
You use the Tourist Shuttle for a free lift too.
You reckon Westfield Doncaster took too long to finish its renovations.
You think Westfield Doncaster only bothered to renovate to catch up to Chadstone, and even then, Chadstone is bigger and better.
You think Chadstone is only renovating so Westfield Doncaster won't catch up to them.
You don't even bother to use your met cards on tram, because either no one's there to check or no one gives a stuff.
You thought Federation Square was ugly when it was first built, but slowly have come to love it/tolerate it.
You know its a bad idea to go swimming in the Yarra River cause who knows what's down there....
You know that other sports other than cricket are played in the Melbourne Cricket Ground (MCG).
You know that Rod Laver Arena hosts lots of cool concerts all the time.
Either you or your dad knows that the dredging of the Yarra ruined all the "best fishing spots".
You actually care about AFL.
You have no idea what the difference is between rugby league and rugby union is, and you don't care.
You know Melbourne has better fashion than Sydney.
You understand that it is a cultural convention to bet on the Melbourne Cup, even if at no other time.
You've learnt to be sceptical of the public transport timetables the hard way.
The weather report says it's a sunny day and it's pouring rain outside.
You know that Lygon Street is full of Italian restaurants.
You know that HOOK Turns make perfect sense.
You know the Melbourne Central Station isn't the biggest station.
You expect a summer day to be as cool as 10 degrees or as hot as 40 degrees.
When you go interstate, you don't understand how the people get around without trams.
You actually know what coffee is meant to taste like.
You know that no matter how much Docklands is upgraded it will still be "the Docklands".
You know the your way around Melbourne merely from the position of Flinders Street Station.
You have gotten lost in/or are going to get lost in, Melbourne University.
You know the Crown is more than just a casino.
You understand that no matter what the weatherman says, its never true.
You know that St. Kilda is MUCH more than a beach.
You know that Luna Park is no longer/has never been a great amusement park.
You were shocked when you found out not all street directories are called Melway.
You still call Southern Cross station Spencer St.
You still think of Melbourne Central station as Museum station.
Your weekends are empty after the AFL Grand Final.
You think Myki will never work properly!
The bus stops are only ...two blocks apart.
Your outfit is tailored to suit every weather.
You stare down people in cars with NSW license plates.
You know Sunshine, Rosebud and the Caribbean Gardens are not as good as they sound.
You pretend the Sydney-Melbourne rivalry doesn't exist. Which it doesn't. Because Sydney doesn't care. And that really shits you.
You know you're from Melbourne when you think it's normal to have strange, "artistic" sculptures randomly placed throughout a city.
You take an umbrella EVERYWHERE you go.
You know you're from Melbourne when there are at least three different shades of black in your wardrobe...new, last years and so grey it can only be from your youth.
You've looked out the window of Puffing Billy and waved like an idiot at the cars at the railway crossing. And you've watched Puffing Billy pass as you sat in a car at the railway crossing, and waved like an idiot.
Your kid's favourite foods are sushi, spanakopita and felafel. Which are also the nicknames of the three kids they sit next to at school.
If a friend gets a new boyfriend or girlfriend, your first question is, ''Who do they barrack for?''
You can list all the ingredients in pesto. And you're three years old.
This entry was originally posted at http://kerravonsen.dreamwidth.org/668417.html. (Comments
) Reply using OpenId.
Go to Google, type in 'you know you're from (insert country or state)and copy the jokes you find listed. Bold the ones that apply to you.
You know you're from Australia when...
Your next door neighbours can be from Tunisia, Israel, Indonesia, Japan, Zimbabwe, Iraq, Brazil, Spain, Malaysia...
The Greeks and Mexicans next door ask you over to have a barbeque.
You don't actually use the words 'sheila' or 'shrimp'.
You sleep with Aeroguard on.
You feel obliged to spread salty black stuff that looks like congealed motor oil on bread and actually grow to like it.
You actively dislike Americans, but watch their TV, eat their food and worship their idols.
You think Tall Poppy Syndrome is a national condition.
Democracy means the freedom to draw caricatures of John Howard.
The term "musical instrument" also extends to wobbly bits of ply-wood, hand saws, gum leafs and combs.
All of your internationally famous people don't live here.
You relish test cricket - the longest, slowest game in sport (and that's not even counting the replays). After all, what else gives you an excuse to sit on your arse for five days, watch TV and sink piss with your mates?
The only thing better than beating the Poms at ANY sport is giving them flak for it.
You love, adore and admire a particular team/sportstar/actor on a winning streak - until they lose. Then they're just crap and 'past it.'
You can compress several words into one - ie 'g'day', 'd'reckn?' This allows for more space for profanities.
You favour either Holden or Ford - or a souped-up WRX with new kit and a bootful of subwoofer.
You know all the words to Khe Sahn but not the national anthem.
Your nickname ends in 'a' or 'o'.
You have a customised stubby holder.
Your soap stars become pop singers and move to the UK.
You've ever used the words - grouse, tops, ripper, choice, sick, rad, exo, ace, wicked, ballistic - to mean good. And then you place 'bloody' in front of it when you really mean it.
The "Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oi oi oi!" chant has been a religious experience in the past.
The big national sporting events are men-only.
The barbeque is a male-dominated arena. And the women do the salads.
'Fair go for all' excludes indigenous people.
An eight-hour trip to go camping for the weekend isn't out of the question or excessive.
You take pride in living in a tolerant multicultural society but firmly believe that all Poms and Kiwis are fair game.
You insist on asking every celebrity who steps off an aircraft what they think of Australia. If the response is not overwhelmingly positive, they should be subjected to immediate public ridicule.
The private lives of footy and cricket players become more important than local and national news stories.
You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not.
You call your best friends names (like "bastard") and are freezingly polite to your enemies.
People in other countries don't know what season it is here.
Christmas means salads, or a barbie on the beach.
You reckon anyone who carries on about how great they are is up themselves. Or American.
You wear togs to go swimming, and thongs on your feet.
You use "mate" as a greeting, affectionate nickname, and exclamation, like Americans do with "dude".
The milk bar sells a lot more than just stuff from cows.
Proper hamburgers have lettuce, tomato, onion, and beetroot in them.
You find it inconceivable that a house wouldn't have fly-screens on all the windows and doors.
You know you're from Melbourne when...
You see/hear a tram like every 5 minutes when you go out into the city.
You know that rush hour is @ 9-10am, 12:30-2pm and 4-7pm in the CBD.
You actually know what CBD stands for.
You know that Mac Rob. and Melbourne High are selective schools and they only accept you if you are smart (via testing).
You always gloat about Melbourne being one of the most livable cities.
You know that when someone arranges to meet you "at the clocks", they mean the clocks at the entrance of Flinders Street Station.
You see tourists walk into the information booth at Federation Square thinking it's some kind of tourist attraction.
You see tourists walk around the information booth at Federation Square wondering how to get inside.
You use the City Circle as a free ride to get from point A to point B.
You use the Tourist Shuttle for a free lift too.
You reckon Westfield Doncaster took too long to finish its renovations.
You think Westfield Doncaster only bothered to renovate to catch up to Chadstone, and even then, Chadstone is bigger and better.
You think Chadstone is only renovating so Westfield Doncaster won't catch up to them.
You don't even bother to use your met cards on tram, because either no one's there to check or no one gives a stuff.
You thought Federation Square was ugly when it was first built, but slowly have come to love it/tolerate it.
You know its a bad idea to go swimming in the Yarra River cause who knows what's down there....
You know that other sports other than cricket are played in the Melbourne Cricket Ground (MCG).
You know that Rod Laver Arena hosts lots of cool concerts all the time.
Either you or your dad knows that the dredging of the Yarra ruined all the "best fishing spots".
You actually care about AFL.
You have no idea what the difference is between rugby league and rugby union is, and you don't care.
You know Melbourne has better fashion than Sydney.
You understand that it is a cultural convention to bet on the Melbourne Cup, even if at no other time.
You've learnt to be sceptical of the public transport timetables the hard way.
The weather report says it's a sunny day and it's pouring rain outside.
You know that Lygon Street is full of Italian restaurants.
You know that HOOK Turns make perfect sense.
You know the Melbourne Central Station isn't the biggest station.
You expect a summer day to be as cool as 10 degrees or as hot as 40 degrees.
When you go interstate, you don't understand how the people get around without trams.
You actually know what coffee is meant to taste like.
You know that no matter how much Docklands is upgraded it will still be "the Docklands".
You know the your way around Melbourne merely from the position of Flinders Street Station.
You have gotten lost in/or are going to get lost in, Melbourne University.
You know the Crown is more than just a casino.
You understand that no matter what the weatherman says, its never true.
You know that St. Kilda is MUCH more than a beach.
You know that Luna Park is no longer/has never been a great amusement park.
You were shocked when you found out not all street directories are called Melway.
You still call Southern Cross station Spencer St.
You still think of Melbourne Central station as Museum station.
Your weekends are empty after the AFL Grand Final.
You think Myki will never work properly!
The bus stops are only ...two blocks apart.
Your outfit is tailored to suit every weather.
You stare down people in cars with NSW license plates.
You know Sunshine, Rosebud and the Caribbean Gardens are not as good as they sound.
You pretend the Sydney-Melbourne rivalry doesn't exist. Which it doesn't. Because Sydney doesn't care. And that really shits you.
You know you're from Melbourne when you think it's normal to have strange, "artistic" sculptures randomly placed throughout a city.
You take an umbrella EVERYWHERE you go.
You know you're from Melbourne when there are at least three different shades of black in your wardrobe...new, last years and so grey it can only be from your youth.
You've looked out the window of Puffing Billy and waved like an idiot at the cars at the railway crossing. And you've watched Puffing Billy pass as you sat in a car at the railway crossing, and waved like an idiot.
Your kid's favourite foods are sushi, spanakopita and felafel. Which are also the nicknames of the three kids they sit next to at school.
If a friend gets a new boyfriend or girlfriend, your first question is, ''Who do they barrack for?''
You can list all the ingredients in pesto. And you're three years old.
This entry was originally posted at http://kerravonsen.dreamwidth.org/668417.html. (Comments
) Reply using OpenId.