Unasked-For Advice is Always Unwelcome

May 19, 2021 10:16


Sit down and pull up a chair, I'm about to give a rant. I can't remember if I've ranted about this subject before, but I'm about to do so now.

This rant is brought to you by a few comments on a YouTube video which... well, the video was looking at blood-glucose levels as related to things like breakfast and drinking coffee. That was fine, the original video was sufficiently qualified in its statements and was interesting. But then someone in the comments mentioned they were diabetic and immediately some well-meaning person replied "Look into resistance training".

No. Just no.

It doesn't matter how helpful a person intends to be, all unasked-for advice is unhelpful. Why? Because it isn't advice, it is criticism. It says "Why haven't you done whatever-it-is?" It says "Your problems are easily solved and therefore trivial". It says "You are stupid/ignorant/lazy because you haven't fixed it already with this simple solution". It says "Your suffering is your own fault."

These pieces of medical advice are always given by people who are not qualified in medicine. Medical professionals know better than to give advice when they don't know the details of the condition. Especially not advice to random people on the internet that they've never met. And even non-medically speaking, anyone who is an expert in something (and I speak as a computer expert, okay?), anyone who is good at solving problems, they aren't going to toss out suggestions without asking questions first. Because the more you know about a field, the more you are aware that things that may seem similar on the surface can be quite different from each other once you know a few more details. A one-word description of the problem doesn't cut it.

And yet some people jump in as soon as they hear the words "diabetes" or "obesity" or "sleep apnoea" or "insomnia" or....

Who do you think you are, random advice-giver? Who are you to tell me what to do? You know-nothing ignoramus, you don't know a thing about me, what gives you the idea that you can solve my problems? I did not ask for your patronising condescension, you useless busy-body! If I'd wanted advice, I would have explicitly asked for it.

Don't be that person. Next time you feel the urge to pass on something you read in a magazine, or something that worked for you but might not work for everybody... take a deep breath and ask yourself, "Did this person actually ask for advice, or did they just mention their state of being?"
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arrgh, thoughts, health, eyeroll, fail, unpopular opinion, blues

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