Jolene, Please Don't Take My Man

[kerravonsen]

I just don't get it. All these songs that say "don't take my man" or "don't steal my woman"... I mean, do they think the object of their affections is like a piece of china with no will of their own? I mean "don't tempt my man", sure, that does make sense. Or "don't stalk my man". (Or "don't kidnap my man", but that has different connotations that

Comments

[kittylefish]

i agree with you 100%. and also, i remember when i was crazy about a guy who wasn't crazy about me back and someone said, 'make him fall in love with you!' and i was like, 'how do i do that?' because i figured, he either loved me or he didn't, lol. kind of a tangent, but related, i think.

[dreamflower02]

Well, the song "Jolene" makes it clear that "her man" is "takeable" ("Don't take him just because you can") which indicates the singer knows he's to blame as well, although seemingly she thinks only Jolene can do this, and not any other woman--which might make a person wonder about backstory.

But of course, using the terminology of thievery is playing into the trope of the homewrecker, who knowingly sets out to break up an established relationship. Calling the temptress (or temptor when it's the reverse scenario) a thief makes them seem worse.

It's also part of a lot of women's worldview in RL that their man would not have strayed unless he met with exceptionally lurid temptation. If you want a man who will say "no" even in such circumstances, you take care in the choosing in the first place. If you choose a man who has cheated in the past, or whom you find in a suspect location, such as a bar, you won't have much luck.

I am blessed to have a man who has said "No" more than once. On one memorable occasion, a young woman co-worker

[jaxomsride]

I never understood it either, yet people will say "object" of desire too as if the loved one is a thing, not a person.