coming out - update 1
So today I woke up at about 11 and mowed the lawn like a good little boy. I've been delaying doing it for over a week because of work etc. While I was doing that, Jonathan called and my mum took the call. Apparently she told him that she wants to talk to both of us tonight. When I finished the lawn a few mins ago, she told me that I should ring Jonathan back on his mobile and that she wants to talk to both of us tonight.
Tonight we're having a birthday dinner with one of my mum's friends at a local restaurant. So I asked my mum what time Jonno should come, and she said he should come to the dinner.
So I rang Jonno, and it's organised... 5:15 for dinner, and a 'chat'.
It's not terribly bad so far... she hasn't burst out in anger or anything, but all this talk aobut talk is killing me. What is she going to say? It's quite unusual for her to be doing this, rather than just saying it straight out. It makes me quite aprehensive... she's got something to say, but i'm nt sure how bad it is.
Since I can hardly think about anything else right now, I might as well write my thoughts down here:
So, what could she say to us?
1. This is wrong and you shouldn't be doing it.
2. God will punish you and you'll go to hell.
3. Let us pray.
4. I know a priest who can help you.
5. I know a _____ who can help you.
6. I don't want any of my friends to hear about this.
7. There are some rules you must follow:
a) no sex.
b) act straight.
c) ...
8. I will talk to Jonathan's mother.
9. You have been naughty to hide this from me.
Most of these I can deal with:
1-3 I can listen to and not argue too much, so long as it doesn't becomes constant nagging for months on end.
4&5 I could possibly go along with to try and make her happy.
6 i'm more than happy to do for her.
7, it depends on how strictly she follows up on it. I wonder what else she could make as a rule..
8 I dread.
9 is true, and if that's all she's concerned about i'll be deeply sorry. But not so much if she has other complaints, and that becomes my justification for hiding it. Wether she understands that, dunno.
In the longer term, how could things change?
* She no longer welcomes Jonno with open arms
- Happy hellos and light conversation
- Cooking lovely dinners for us when he comes over
- Inviting Jonno along on family day-trips
* She could do her best not to give us any time alone.
* Jonno could no longer be welcome to move in february.
* if Jonno moves in:
- we can't share a bed (we were hoping to)
- we can't share a room (ditto)
- we don't get any time alone.
- we get constant nagging about how terrible we are.
These are what i'm more worried about. It's these things following up...
If Jonno can no longer move in, or if she turns sour on Jonno in a big way, then well... the 'be nice to her' will probably drop and i'll have a few things to say.
I don't *want* to threaten to move out, but if I see no other option, i'm prepared.- mentally, if not financially.
She probably won't actually throw me out, or completely ban Jonno- that much seems to be indicated so far, because she wants to talk to both of us. It's the middle ground that worries me, and we have to figure out what we're willing to put up with.
Tonight we're having a birthday dinner with one of my mum's friends at a local restaurant. So I asked my mum what time Jonno should come, and she said he should come to the dinner.
So I rang Jonno, and it's organised... 5:15 for dinner, and a 'chat'.
It's not terribly bad so far... she hasn't burst out in anger or anything, but all this talk aobut talk is killing me. What is she going to say? It's quite unusual for her to be doing this, rather than just saying it straight out. It makes me quite aprehensive... she's got something to say, but i'm nt sure how bad it is.
Since I can hardly think about anything else right now, I might as well write my thoughts down here:
So, what could she say to us?
1. This is wrong and you shouldn't be doing it.
2. God will punish you and you'll go to hell.
3. Let us pray.
4. I know a priest who can help you.
5. I know a _____ who can help you.
6. I don't want any of my friends to hear about this.
7. There are some rules you must follow:
a) no sex.
b) act straight.
c) ...
8. I will talk to Jonathan's mother.
9. You have been naughty to hide this from me.
Most of these I can deal with:
1-3 I can listen to and not argue too much, so long as it doesn't becomes constant nagging for months on end.
4&5 I could possibly go along with to try and make her happy.
6 i'm more than happy to do for her.
7, it depends on how strictly she follows up on it. I wonder what else she could make as a rule..
8 I dread.
9 is true, and if that's all she's concerned about i'll be deeply sorry. But not so much if she has other complaints, and that becomes my justification for hiding it. Wether she understands that, dunno.
In the longer term, how could things change?
* She no longer welcomes Jonno with open arms
- Happy hellos and light conversation
- Cooking lovely dinners for us when he comes over
- Inviting Jonno along on family day-trips
* She could do her best not to give us any time alone.
* Jonno could no longer be welcome to move in february.
* if Jonno moves in:
- we can't share a bed (we were hoping to)
- we can't share a room (ditto)
- we don't get any time alone.
- we get constant nagging about how terrible we are.
These are what i'm more worried about. It's these things following up...
If Jonno can no longer move in, or if she turns sour on Jonno in a big way, then well... the 'be nice to her' will probably drop and i'll have a few things to say.
I don't *want* to threaten to move out, but if I see no other option, i'm prepared.- mentally, if not financially.
She probably won't actually throw me out, or completely ban Jonno- that much seems to be indicated so far, because she wants to talk to both of us. It's the middle ground that worries me, and we have to figure out what we're willing to put up with.