Friends
I guess i'm just starting to realise they're nowhere near as close as i've been imagining. Two things sparked this:
I've known for a while that there was a study group thing going on, someone slipped it out to me once. I discovered yesterday though, that's it's a regular thing. Now, i've also been saying for a while that we should get together as a group, because we havn't done anything for ages. Now I see why people aren't interested in that. You know what hurts the most? Not that i'm excluded from the study thing per se- if you want to study, fine. I still question motives, but fine. It's that it was deliberatly hidden from me, leaving me wondering when the next group thing was going to be organised. My plans to organise something were dissed to. I suspect because of a direct conflict with the organised time for the 'study' thing.
Well FUCK YOU ALL!
Which brings me to my second point, partially a result of the first. Now, i'm usually a quiet person. Often that's because I don't have much of interest to contribute to the current conversation. But yesterday I found myself quiet beause half the conversations went right over my head and I had no idea what people were talking about. I assume because they've all seen each other much more than i've seen any of them, I don't get the references. I could rabbit on much more about this, but it won't do any good, they don't care anyway. I need new friends. Pity, everyone seems to have more than one group, I have one shitty group. All I realy have is Jonno, and not to put him down or anything, but even he doesn't understand me sometimes. fuck this.
I've known for a while that there was a study group thing going on, someone slipped it out to me once. I discovered yesterday though, that's it's a regular thing. Now, i've also been saying for a while that we should get together as a group, because we havn't done anything for ages. Now I see why people aren't interested in that. You know what hurts the most? Not that i'm excluded from the study thing per se- if you want to study, fine. I still question motives, but fine. It's that it was deliberatly hidden from me, leaving me wondering when the next group thing was going to be organised. My plans to organise something were dissed to. I suspect because of a direct conflict with the organised time for the 'study' thing.
Well FUCK YOU ALL!
Which brings me to my second point, partially a result of the first. Now, i'm usually a quiet person. Often that's because I don't have much of interest to contribute to the current conversation. But yesterday I found myself quiet beause half the conversations went right over my head and I had no idea what people were talking about. I assume because they've all seen each other much more than i've seen any of them, I don't get the references. I could rabbit on much more about this, but it won't do any good, they don't care anyway. I need new friends. Pity, everyone seems to have more than one group, I have one shitty group. All I realy have is Jonno, and not to put him down or anything, but even he doesn't understand me sometimes. fuck this.